My boyfriend has dyspraxia and I see no real difference between the two. Were both clumsy in one way (dropping plates, walking round corners etc) but have very good motor skills elsewhere (him guitar, me ballet/yoga). My personal belief is they are the same thing neurologically, just that it has been diagnosed based on mainly the motor abilities (because that's something they can see, and that's what they think matters).
My boyf has social issues but he doesn't have as much outward anxiousness and he has a group of friends that he grew up with (10 of them were the same school year from the same street-weird!) so that's probably why they didn't consider the social aspects too much- he appeared "normal"
and could mask his social difficulties.
With regards to the female/male aspergers thing, I think there is no real difference, except that ON AVERAGE girls are more predisposed to fitting in socially. Also, women are expected more of in this area so we see it as more important because if the reactions we got for being boisterous or whatever. That doesn't mean that a man with aspergers wouldn't have this ability to appear to fit in/mimic either- were all very different and have different natural inherited strengths and weaknesses.
I would suggest that dyspraxia is an easier thing for the outside world to "deal with" as they don't relate it as much to mental illness, and it would allow you exactly the same allowances/benefits etc so there's no need to worry if the actual diagnosis is different. I say think of yourself as having whichever you relate to most as they are currently only diagnosed by symptoms rather than what's really going on.
_________________
Female, UK. Self diagnosed. Waiting for the NHS.
Apologies for long posts... I cant help it!