Possessiveness and inability to share

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What do you ladies think is the ROOT cause of extreme possessiveness ? Is it the need to totally "own" another person's affections ? Is it insecurity that the person we deeply care for may not really give a tuppence for our feelings ? Is it just a character flaw ? Is it a mental illness of some sort ? If so, would therapy / counseling really help ?

I am not talking of possessiveness of someone that you have any romantic designs on (although that is usually the case) -- in this instance, I am actually talking of possessiveness over close family members - like your own children, for example.

Thank you all in advance for your feedback.

Fear of loss

Yeah I would say its fear. Fear of change mostly (eg. losing/changing a clearly defined parent/child or provider/receiver relationship, from gaining more independence).

When I saw the post's title I instantly thought of my inability to share food, despite being (I'd like to think) a generous person. Its just that I like to know what I've got before I start so I can plan what to eat first. I've been known to stab people's hands with forks when they steal from my plate haha but it literally is just a millisecond instinct thing- a fight or flight response to protect.

Are you having a particular issue with this or asking generally? I think if you take away as much uncertainty as possible, explain why things are how they are (and how it will benefit the person to change the relationship) that would be a good start.

I know somebody who is going through the kind of situation that you are alluding to and I can't really say I know the answer. But I'll give it a shot.

I'm guessing it could be something to do with trying to prevent something the person fears very deeply. It could be that they fear abandonment or the fear of losing their status or (in the case of a parent) fearing for your child and their future. A lot of fear. Lots of projection.