Do you feel more like males than females?

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iliketrees
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20 Apr 2015, 12:50 pm

Purposely in the woman's section, not autism general or LGBT because I feel it's more relevant here.

So obviously most people with autism are males, but is it normal for females with it to be more male minded, I guess, because of this?

I guess what I'm asking is how you feel about yourself compared to NT girls/women, and also compared to males. Purposely an open ended question, just asking for general thoughts rather than anything specific.

I've just never really felt like a girl. I get on better with guys, I share more interests with guys but I'm not sure if I see myself as male. But at the same time I don't see myself as female, either. Is this normal for females with autism or is there something more to it?



androbot01
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20 Apr 2015, 1:04 pm

When I was younger I got along better with guys, but now in my forties I get along better with women. Girls' social interactions were too complex for me as a child.
I've always identified as a heterosexual female. I'm a tomboy though and very clumsy.



iliketrees
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20 Apr 2015, 1:12 pm

androbot01 wrote:
Girls' social interactions were too complex for me as a child.


Definitely how I feel at the moment, as my age shows I am only 17. I just don't understand them at all.



lyzpg
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20 Apr 2015, 1:16 pm

I don't think its a matter of 'feeling' male, but rather that we rely on logic more than the regular female (because of how our brains are wired). That perhaps is what makes you think you have a male approach to life? For my part, I can realize when my reactions are being illogical (due to hormones which I have no control over) and usually apologize for it. I realize I have the right to feel however I feel, and don't deny my emotions; but I'm very careful about dumping my emo load on others. To me it's easier to interact with males, they're usually more straight-forward and open about things and girls are always beating around.



btbnnyr
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21 Apr 2015, 10:28 pm

Males make more sense to me than females.


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23 Apr 2015, 12:47 am

I do not understand males nor do I get along with (the majority) of them. That said, I'm told that the way go about things tends to be more male-like. I don't think that's true, but who knows?



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23 Apr 2015, 4:41 am

I do give an impression that I'm rather "less feminine" than the rest of my peers. But I don't get more or less get along with either gender.

Hell, in my childhood I get more fights with boys and more friends with girls as long as no one drags me into their stupid dramas...


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23 Apr 2015, 10:18 am

My theory around this issue is that gender is socially made-up BS and that we, as people who don't tend to pick up on social stuff, just never "drank the cool-aid."

Of course we tend to gravitate towards masculine things- Men have it made in our society! They get all the cool toys and the opportunities. Who wants to sit around talking about dating and knitting? (Actually, I do enjoy knitting, but I also enjoy trucks and computers and such.)

I don't think that women on the spectrum have more masculine brains. I think that only men and boys with autism are studied so we only think of male traits when we think of autism. Women are held to male standards and that's not fair. I just contacted the Seaver center to see if they need any test subjects. Predictably, the only adult studies they have going on right now is exclusively for men. The study coordinator shared my chagrin at this. Its not their fault. That's where the interest and the money is. We perceive that only men are autistic, so we continue to only look for autism in males.



BirdInFlight
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23 Apr 2015, 10:29 am

For my own case it's a yes and no answer. No, because even as a small child I always felt "girly" yet at the same time I had interests that were more boyish.

So basically all my life I've been a feminine, girlish woman who looks all woman on the outside, but who is into things normally females aren't drawn to (I've been fascinated by cars and how they work, filmmaking, recording music and music equipment, all a bit boyish).


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23 Apr 2015, 10:39 am

I feel like a woman (reference to that dreadful song not intended), but for the most part guys are easier to relate to because a lot of women feed off drama. Some of my interests are girly, like teddy bears and dolls, but I can't stand shopping and don't get into most stereotypically feminine things. I also can't stand the drama girls like to surround themselves with. However, being a girl has its advantages when your special interest is teddy bears. As a girl it's very easy to carry one in your purse with no one the wiser, and also if you have teddy bears all over your house, no one bats an eye. I know guys who are into plushies/bears and it's really hard for them in today's society.



McCool
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23 Apr 2015, 7:40 pm

Yes. Yes, I do.



Cyllya1
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26 Apr 2015, 2:34 pm

I remember in the past I occasionally sort of "forgot" that I'm technically female. Like, if I were reading an article that talked about trends in gender, I would identify myself with the male side, regardless of whether I matched the trends they were talking about.

After I had a (male) romantic partner for a while, I started identifying more female. Not sure why. Kind of weirds me out.


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iliketrees
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26 Apr 2015, 3:54 pm

Cyllya1 wrote:
I remember in the past I occasionally sort of "forgot" that I'm technically female. Like, if I were reading an article that talked about trends in gender, I would identify myself with the male side, regardless of whether I matched the trends they were talking about.

After I had a (male) romantic partner for a while, I started identifying more female. Not sure why. Kind of weirds me out.


I understand that completely. At first female stereotypes made me angry, but then I realized they were pretty much true once I realized I was different from girls. Now I talk about girls like I'm not one. I dunno, I just don't really see myself as a girl. But obviously that makes no sense. :P



Catana
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26 Apr 2015, 3:58 pm

I married and had two children, but I've never felt particularly like a female. I've always related more to so-called male interests than female interests.



starkid
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26 Apr 2015, 4:09 pm

iliketrees wrote:
I've just never really felt like a girl.

You aren't alone. No one feels like a girl, because girlhood is neither itself a feeling nor characterized by any particular feelings.



iliketrees
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26 Apr 2015, 4:17 pm

starkid wrote:
iliketrees wrote:
I've just never really felt like a girl.

You aren't alone. No one feels like a girl, because girlhood is neither itself a feeling nor characterized by any particular feelings.


:roll:

I do not identify with other females is what I meant, just not sure how to properly explain it. :?