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hurtloam
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15 Apr 2015, 4:17 pm

I've noticed a few women online saying this and I wonder what you guys think.

Image

Basically they say that if a man says "you're not like other women" then you should run because he must hate women.

I don't agree. I found that while I was growing up that I was not like the majority of girls around me, I was different. I liked different things. That doesn't mean I hate women, it just means I'm just a bit different to the mainstream. So I reckon a man who was a bit different to the mainstream would like a woman who was a bit different too and could say withough malice, "I like you because you are different to the other women I've met"

What do you think?



MollyTroubletail
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15 Apr 2015, 4:51 pm

You're overthinking this too much :lol:

It's just a lame pick-up line. And you should probably run away from lame pick-up artists whether you appreciate their sentiments or not.



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15 Apr 2015, 5:00 pm

hurtloam wrote:
a man who was a bit different to the mainstream would like a woman who was a bit different too and could say withough malice, "I like you because you are different to the other women I've met"


That's how I would take it, but I'm not disturbed by the idea of being out of the mainstream.

Seems like a paranoid attitude to me, a guy can't win for losing up against that.

If you're not like other girls, he's running a line on you because in fact, you're just like everyone else (its an insult to call an NT "different"), but if he says you're just like every other woman, he's a misogynist for stereotyping. :roll:

You'd think it would be a compliment to be told you're unique and not identical to the rest of the herd.

MollyTroubletail wrote:
It's just a lame pick-up line.


Not everything is a pickup line. I was laughed at by a roomful of coworkers for asking a woman "Have we met somewhere before?" once. I had no idea that was considered a "pickup line," I was quite sincere, she looked vaguely familiar to me, but I couldn't place where I'd seen her before. Eventually it came to me and we had met before - she had taken the job that I had left several months earlier - as I was picking up my last check and saying goodbyes, the PD was showing her around the office as the new employee and introduced us. Doh! :|


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kraftiekortie
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15 Apr 2015, 7:17 pm

I like women who "aren't like other women."

I would hope that a woman would take that phrase as a compliment--because it is a compliment. Not a pick-up line.

I don't have any pick-up lines.



Nambo
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16 Apr 2015, 3:22 pm

hurtloam wrote:

Basically they say that if a man says "you're not like other women" then you should run because he must hate women.



Men and Women are different, they have different interests.
If I met a Women who liked to talk about old cars and motorbikes, I might be rather impressed and say "you're not like other women", that doesn't mean I automatically hate women because most find vehicles boring and would rather talk about soap operas and big brother.

You will also find both men and women say about the opposite sex, "you cant live with them and you cant live without them", if a woman displays less of the female traits we men find hard to live with, like constant talking for instance, we might also compliment them by saying you're not like other women.

I wonder if a women met a man who didn't like football and would rather take her shopping than drink beer with his mates, would she say, "you're not like other men", would this mean she is a man hater?



RoseDuste
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21 Apr 2015, 2:32 am

The reason women say to run from a guy who uses that phrase is because it's a line generally used by creepy guys.
Chances are the guy doesn't know you very well and is not actually commenting on your differences, so while you might embrace being different, he's not saying that as an observation. He says it to all girls, to make them feel "special," and get in their pants.



MindBlind
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21 Apr 2015, 5:35 pm

MollyTroubletail wrote:
You're overthinking this too much :lol:

It's just a lame pick-up line. And you should probably run away from lame pick-up artists whether you appreciate their sentiments or not.


I dunno. Some guys (particularly if they're not well socialized) are probably sincere when they say that. I don't like to tar everyone with the same brush.



Cyllya1
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26 Apr 2015, 2:31 pm

I think the problem with statements like, "You're not like other women," is that it indicates they're lumping every other female into a single monolithic category as if women weren't a variety of people. If someone stereotypes women that much, that's a bad thing, regardless of what that stereotype is.

It's a long the same lines as "You're one of the good ones [among people of your race]" or "You don't look autistic."

Yeah, I'm not like most other women, but most women aren't like most other women. There are plenty of women I'm fairly similar too.


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29 Apr 2015, 2:24 pm

The correct response is "what's wrong with other women?"

I think that when people say that, about themselves or others, they are usually making a huge and negative generalization about other people. It is easy to believe that your experiences are felt more deeply than anyone else's, or to meet somebody you get along with and feel like they are the chosen one and on a higher level of consciousness, but everyone who doesn't look and act like you at first glance is not a cardboard cutout with no personality or legitimate interests. And yes, women are disproportionately stereotyped that way.



alicce
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01 May 2015, 9:43 am

this is their opinion, I have others;)



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01 May 2015, 9:57 am

The women I'd had relationships with, and have been attracted to, are generally a bid weird, eccentric, and are generally dissimilar to mainstream women. Still, I can understand why some women might feel a man telling you this could seem a bit suspicious and just one of those things guys say to get laid.


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oldsoul
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01 May 2015, 10:11 am

Men have said this to me many times over the years.

I always figured it was because I am straight and when out in public appear feminine on the outside. At the same time I am androgynous on the inside regarding my interests and things I know about, so when conversing with men I'm talking about more things that they are interested in than the things most NT women talk about.

And my androgyny makes me relate to men very well and not judge them the way most NT women do. I get them for who they are and don't have so many unrealistic expectations of them and what they "should" be.


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iliketrees
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03 May 2015, 11:34 am

I take it as more of an observation. They're right. It's not sexism.



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03 May 2015, 3:20 pm

Sounds presumptuous to assume it's bad, but people love to be presumptuous and "educate" others on what people think and feel. Heaven forbid we learn what people mean by what they say before we start saying what they are for it.



iliketrees
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03 May 2015, 3:40 pm

Comets wrote:
Sounds presumptuous to assume it's bad, but people love to be presumptuous and "educate" others on what people think and feel. Heaven forbid we learn what people mean by what they say before we start saying what they are for it.


This is why girls in general scare me. They go in with their own idea and twist things. I'm a girl but a lot of girls seem manipulative. Barely any will take things literally and will look for hidden meanings that aren't there. I dunno why they do it, is it just the way the female mind is? :? I find girls very hard to be around because they seem... suspicious, I guess. If someone says something nice they try and find a way it's sexism. Not all girls, but a significant amount. Watch this be twisted. :(



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03 May 2015, 6:42 pm

Sometimes it's a line, just words, like lots of other strings of words, completely shallow chatter. If you chatted up a man telling him that he was not like the other men, and he took it literally, I think his internal alarm bell would ring, and he would run away from the pressure of being the most unique guy you've ever met, questioning what were the other men like.

I think it can be a genuine observation, if the person knows you over a prolonged period of time. :)