I feel so unattractive

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Whenever I try to take a selfie I have to add filters otherwise I look hideous on the camera; like a really tired 50-year-old she-man stoned on drugs. Are phone cameras designed to make you look ugly or something?

Also in every mirror I look different in. Some mirrors make my face look long and my eyes look tired. There is only one mirror I do look attractive in, and that's the small mirror that stands on the shelf in my bathroom. While I'm hanging on to the hope that that's what I look like always, I know that there's very little chance that this one mirror is the only mirror that reflects my face correctly.

Also my teeth are crooked at the bottom but I can't afford dental treatment to straighten them out, as it's classed as a cosmetic, so the NHS won't provide cheaper treatment. You can't really see my bottom teeth and they are not rotton or anything, just crooked, but my mum says that sometimes you can see them when I talk.

Also I've never got into the habit of putting on makeup or styling my hair each morning, even though I've got the time. All I put on is lipstick sometimes, and a bit of mascara if I'm going out on a special occasion. But otherwise I'm no good at putting makeup on. If I was a guy I wouldn't have to wear makeup and still be attractive. As a woman it seems that you are only attractive if you wear makeup. That's what my mum says anyway.

Have people ever called you unattractive? If not then you aren’t unattractive. People are pretty mean. If you were actually unattractive people would let you know.

Just two little questions for you:

Does your boyfriend find you attractive?

Do male/lesbian colleagues regularly find excuses to talk to you at work?

Edit: responded because I recognised a problem I e struggled with before registering you’ve posted in “women’s discussion”.
Please consider my retreat to have been beaten with due haste.

Different people find different things attractive

You can't measure how attractive something is

Allegedly, conventionally attractive people get treated better than unattractive people. Allegedly.

You only have so much control over your appearance

Some people have diseases that alter their appearance

It is not their fault. However, sometimes someone treats them worse for it

Some people get cosmetic surgery

Not everyone can afford surgery

Surgery has risks

The solar system contains a lot of things to worry about.

Appearance is one thing to worry about

But there are many other things to worry about

Do you want to feel more attractive as you are, or do you want to make yourself seem more attractive to others?
Or neither

You may be taking selfies in harsh light. There is a "golden hour" at dawn and dusk when the natural light is very good at sunrise and sunset. There are even times when most of the light reflects off overhead clouds and is especially good for taking photographs.

Yes, I know that you don't really get the "golden hour" in the tropics.

Aspies may not know when they are being socially offensive.

NTs typically know when they are. And they intentionally do that when they wish to bully someone.

You should wear glasses and not worry that they are making you look less attractive.
Making mistakes because you can't see is an even bigger turn off.

You have a boyfriend. Men do not form relationships with women that they consider unattractive. Why do you care what others think when you already have a man that loves you?

I don't want to attract other guys like I did when I was single. But being in a relationship doesn't mean you should no longer care how attractive you are. It's all about self-esteem. I'm not intending to attract other guys. I just want to be as attractive as my cousins, because maybe I'll love myself more. I spend a lot of time with my cousins (they're like my mates), so it's hard not to compare myself to them. I bet my lesbian cousin is swimming in confidence because of all these guys asking her out - even though she's got a girlfriend. Even my brother's mates tell him how cute she is. But nobody has ever said "your sister's cute". I know my brother, if anyone did say that he would tell me.

Also, are your cousins nice people? Perhaps you should tell them how you feel and ask for advice on getting men to find you attractive.

I still think as long as your boyfriend finds you attractive that’s all that matters. You only need one man for a relationship.