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TeddyBearTheo
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27 Apr 2019, 10:13 am

Im going to attempt to be as direct, accurate, and scientific as possible. I'm laying out everything I have for you all. I know you cannot accurately diagnose me via an Internet forum but I would like to know your thoughts and the likely hood that I have HFA or aspergers.

First off I'd like to actually start off why I think I don't have autism or why my mind spirals doubt about the ordeal. I dont have severe sensory sensitivities. Yeah just like any other normal person I'm not fond of flourescent lights but I won't meltdown because of them they will just irritate me slightly. Also tags on clothes are fine as long as they aren't scratchy (normal). I'm odd about my food I will say that. I don't like bananas because they are too mushy it grosses me out. Same with cucumbers, tomatoes, and any other weirdly gelatin like food. I'm not big on pudding or jello for the same reason. I don't enjoy eating a pile of mush. I also have slight fear of things being inside my food and am OCD about the way my food is stored. I also don't eat leftovers because they never taste right to me I can always taste the fridge or some weird after taste. But these are all normal personality things. I don't enjoy loud noises except music. I'm easily scared but I also enjoy the adrenaline from being scared. I'm a Halloween and horror junkie I always have been since very young. I go to haunted houses every year to get scared. Flashing light REALLY effects me. I hate them and feel like I'm going to go into an epileptic shock (not epileptic). I can barely even open my eyes when there's too many police sirens visible. Okay now out of sensory issues and onto the social aspect and other what nots. I'm socially retarded. I'm just going to be blunt about it. I never thought it was a confusion problem UNTIL I learned what autism even was. Now I'm going to hurry and list weird traits or issues I have to let you decide and to be more prompt about it. No need to waste your time.


•I'm pretty good with reading emotions on people's faces although I may have a hard time deciphering what that emotion means for that person (why they feel it)

•I like to eat inedible things and always have since a very young age. I remember sneaking a big bite of chalk while my friend had her back turned. So she wouldn't think I was weird. I like to eat chalk, sand, drywall, and anything else with a similar texture.

•I have dyscalculia but I excel in the languages being in the top 25 percent on my ACT but I couldn't do math to save my life (not kidding)

•sometimes I have a hard time telling whether someone Is joking but usually it's only if they are tired or very non animated. It confuses me when someone tells a joke very seriously. If they tell it normally I'm completely fine and these things hardly effect me besides a few awkward "oh you were just kidding" moments.

•I get stressed out when there is too much to focus on. I can't multitask at all and if someone is giving me instructions or directions in conversation I often accidentally tune out or forget to listen because im concentrating on things like eye contact or my body language


•ADHD, Bi polar, and OCD all run in my family.

•I'm highly uncordinated and clumsy to the point that my husband carries almost everything we need all the time because I'm guaranteed to drop something if you hand me more than a couple items

•I have a fantasy world in my head and have had it since I was very young it's very intricate and I love to daydream and get zoned off into it. It's fun and I love controlling everything in my world.

•I'm obsessed with all things animals and psychology. I could read and talk about psychology and animals for hours on end. My husband has heard me spout so many random animal facts, it's not even funny. Sometimes I fear I'll annoy him because not everyone cares to know how many ribs an Andean bear has.


Also random side note I have a hard time knowing when someone is bored in conversation and often my conversations are one sided random jumble of what's going on inside my brain. I talk to myself constantly but my talking to myself is just a sound board of again what's happening inside my brain. I relay everything outward.

I'm diagnosed borderline, bipolar, ADHD, social anxiety, and possibly autism one day


Last thing that I suspect is a sign of my autism is my start of my day. I usually lazy around for an hour watching videos and researching topics till I get the motivation to get up and do my hair, makeup, and clothes. I'm very girly and I obesss OCD like over my outfit and hair. I need it to be perfect or atleast to my standards or else my mind obsesses over all the small details wrong with me that day. Like fly away hairs, stains, not matching which by the way I ALWAYS match. If I don't it drives me crazy and I can't even enjoy my day.


•When I was a child disappointment was very overwhelming for me when plans changed or I had to leave somewhere fun. I use to have minor freak outs when things didn't go the way I expected. I've grown out of these and am much better at being spontaneous now :D

•When I was a child my socks would make me cry if they were twisted the wrong way it still annoys me heavily as an adult and I always make sure my socks are on properly

•I take on accents very easily and accidentally so much so I have to try and conceal that other people's accents effect me so that they don't think I'm weird for randomly turning British on them


•I often feel things that I cannot put into words or know how to express myself

•I can't stand pruny hands or feet from water


•I do best in routine but I also like my routine to be slightly switched up and have fun. The only reason why I do best in routine is because if I don't have a routine I'm likely to become lazy and unproductive. I'll just sit and research different topics all day.


• I score neuro diverse on every single autism test I take. I got a score of 170 out of 200 for neuro diverse and a 50 out of 200 on nuerotypical



jimmy m
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27 Apr 2019, 4:02 pm

Like you said "I know you cannot accurately diagnose me via an Internet forum". So my perception is very limited to make an assessment.

So the first thing I would recommend was for you to take one of the on-line test to detect Aspie traits. And low and behold, you had already done this and the test indicated a strong likelihood that you are an Aspie.

The next thing that came to mind is that Asperger's traits are substantially different in males than females. So many times what you find in books tends to be from an analysis of male traits.

Females tend to be more social than males and they use masking to hid their weaknesses. Masking is mirroring the actions and behaviors of others. So what happens for Aspie females is that over time, the stress becomes so great by constantly pretending to be someone else, that a variety of psychological disorders start to appear.

Aspies generally experience a greater degree of bullying than neurotypicals. I am 70 years old and I still have deep battle scares buried deep inside me from bullying in school. For males this bullying peaks in Junior High. For females this occurs in High School. Many times Aspie boys are referred to as Little Professors and Aspie girls are referred to as little Psychologist. Girls tend to focus on understanding human psychology so that they can perfect masking.

So looking through the list of your traits, I would say that the following are Aspie trait:
* Flashing lights really affect you.
* You consider yourself socially retarded.
* You like to eat inedible things.
* Inability to understand jokes (and perhaps also sarcasm).
* Inability to multitask.
* Highly uncoordinated and clumsy.
* Does not understand the give-and-take nature of a conversation (they do not engage family members in true two-way conversation. Instead, there is limited or awkward turn-taking, and the natural "give and take" in the conversation is missing.)
* A remarkable ability for intense focus is a common trait, becoming an expert in a single object or topic to the exclusion of all others.
* Have rigid routines, may prefer sameness and have difficulties with transitions or changes.

So I guess I might make 3 recommendations. There are many fine books written on Aspies. Also there are many YouTube videos. So enjoy yourself researching the subject and eventually you will be able to make your own self-assessment of this condition.

Let's see, you said "I'm obsessed with all things animals and psychology." Well I would recommend that you combine the two together. You will find a very great understanding of the subject of Aspergers by combining these two fields especially with a strong focus on "stress".

Third, I would recommend you read a copy of a book by Peter A. Levine called "In An Unspoken Voice". It is not related to Aspies but it is a very great primer on dealing effectively with stress.

By the way, Welcome to Wrong Planet!



BTDT
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27 Apr 2019, 4:19 pm

I'd suggest reading Autism in Heels.

On approach to using this site is realize that you do have the exact same problem as as someone else on this site, try out their suggestion, and see if it helps you as well. Thing is, you may not have anything else in common with the person who helped you out! Autism is like that.

I'll be wearing high fidelity earplugs when I go to the movie theater tomorrow. Movies are too loud these days.