Anyone women here lack fear of men like most women?
After reading this article, https://www.pbs.org/kued/nosafeplace/ar ... tmare.html, this all sounds foreign to me because it's never occurred to me to have all this fear in my day to day life about men.
My husband on the other hand will say I have problems with fear because he is the one to worry about me and I am not worried at all. Especially when I walk home in the middle of the night when I get home from work.
Yes more violent crimes are done by men than they are by women but I still don't fear them or think some random stranger is going to come and grab me and rape me on the spot.
Does this mean I am a man in a woman's body?
Or is this autism?
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
dragonsanddemons
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I don’t fear men any more than I fear women. For me, probably a significant part of that is because I’m asexual, so sex and related things, like the chance of being raped, are usually the farthest things from my mind. This is where I really struggle with “theory of mind,” I forget that such things usually are on most people’s mind to some extent, and that yes, rape is a very real danger. I also have confidence in my natural fight/flight instincts, I’m much more instinctive than the average person and would take anyone trying to harm me by surprise by being so (for example, most people wouldn’t strongly expect someone to bite them, but that’s one of my first instincts when threatened, whereas, say, punching isn’t very instinctive for me).
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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"
Sweetleaf
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Idk I generally not specifically worried about men or women, just people in general if they seem threatening. Had some woman tell me I was lucky she was in a good mood or she'd just take the hat I was wearing. It was a knit hat with devil horns and when I refused to trade it for drugs or whatever that was her reaction. I guess I am relieved she was in a 'good mood'... I really like that hat.
Then another time a person I thought was a friend I was 19 in first year of college they were like in their 30s but turned out they just wanted sex. And one time I went over to their place once thinking they just wanted to hang out as friends but when I didn't want to have sex they got kinda pushy. So I got out of there as quick as I was able.
So idk men and women can be threatening.
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I don't fear men because they're more confusing because of sheer inexperience of directly being with any.
At the same time, they're more resonating in a different sense.
If it weren't for my lack of experience and opportunities growing up, I'd probably be one of them, more or less.
Yet just as out of place growing up with another, just in a different aspect.
Mind you I'm not trans nor ever felt like a man in a woman's body.
More like neither genders resonates me to the core. It just happened that I'm very familiar with women and being one in a physical sense, and that's all.
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The article is hard to digest for me, do I have to read the whole to give the opinion here?
I always thought it must be something about culture and location - I never found men threatning. Even the lowlife who assaulted me - the feeling was disgust, not fear.
In general, I feel comfortable among men and the boundaries I set are respected by them.
I used to fear women when I was younger and the pressure to conform was higher. Women's social rules are much harder to navigate than men's. In my culture, women are more likely to ignore your boundaries and paint you a villain for some random faux pas.
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Certainly doesn't make you a trans guy cos I'm a trans guy and I fear cis guys.
They're big and have 'certain body parts'. We live in a culture where 'yes means yes' is a novel concept.
I think it might be because you're lucky enough to be one of the 3 out of 4 women not to have been raped/sexually assaulted in your life.
Certainly not all cis guys are like that. Just like not all dogs are fierce and I fear dogs. I don't fear all cis guys or labradors.
But every guy I ever dated was either an outright abuser (I 'dated' an adult when I wasn't in my teens yet... that's paedophilia) or didn't understand the nuance that if I'm not into it, don't do it. Most of the guys I dated pressured me into it.
And I'm 4"11. If I get into a fight with a cis guy down the street who wants to attack or assault or rob etc, I know who's coming off worse and it's not him. Whereas my stepdad's 6"2. He's only starting in his 70s to be scared of these guys. Even now, he just puts his hood up to hide his hair and wrinkles and walks through them with the gait of a guy in his 40s.
Me and my mum don't go out after dark without my stepdad esp into areas where there's drunks.
I suspect some cis guys fear guys like that. Esp since being gay doesn't mean the 'yes means yes' is understood as the norm. Esp since height plays a factor in who gets beaten up, or just being alone plays a factor. Esp since disability might play into it - I'd rather be a 5"7 female bouncer with muscles walking through such guys than a 5"6 guy in a wheelchair wheeling through them.
And no, it's not all men. That's right. It just takes time to trust.
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Not actually a girl
He/him
I do watch my purse when there is a man hanging around if I'm not sure what he is doing. The poor guy might just be waiting for a ride home or something but I do know that guys who are murderers, rapists or thieves do tend to hover about waiting for a victim, and just make out that they're waiting for a ride (when in the street).
I do avoid being out at night on my own because I am afraid of some guys. I will get to the part about scary women in a moment, but I do know that the murderer and rapist rates are higher in men than in women (is it even possible for a woman to rape?)
Men scare me in a different way. Men are more likely to harm you than women, but women who are clearly mentally ill, high on drugs or drink, or just nasty, can be equally as terrifying without even hurting you.
I remember when I was about 13 I was in a park with my cousin eating lunch. It was the middle of the day, in the summer, and there were lots of small children playing. But suddenly this woman stood there in the park wearing nice clothes and looking kempt, but was shouting and swearing at all the children. At first we thought it was just one of the children's mothers shouting at her kids, but we then realised that she was looking at no-one in particular and was just swearing angrily (I can't remember what she was actually saying, she was just hurling abuse) and then she started cackling like a witch. When we saw mothers coming along and pulling their children away, me and my cousin rushed away too. Then she was coming towards us like she wanted to start on us, so we ran out of the park and felt safe when we saw that the police had been called. She didn't have a knife and she most likely wasn't intending on physically attacking anyone but she was still a threat to the public. The police took her away.
And I actually got so traumatized, that I had to have a couple of days off school after that. I kept imagining her evil cackle whilst keeping a fierce look on her face, and it was in the uncanny valley. It's just so unusual to see a woman acting so threatening, but when you do it's really scary.
So words and expressions can be just as frightening as physical abuse.
I learnt that in school. In a way I'd rather be bullied by teenage boys than teenage girls. Although boys could be violent, girls actually intimidated me more. They'd stare and glare at you in the most threatening way possible. I had to educate myself on how not to get on the wrong side of (some) teenage girls. They can bully you very discreetly and it's harder for the teachers to notice or to do much about it. Seeing a group of boys beating you up could get them suspended, but a group of girls can bully you emotionally and actually wreck your self-esteem with words and expressions.
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Female
Legally when it comes to cis women it's very unlikely. Because a 'rape' requires either a foreign object (think, sex toy) or a penis. She'd have to be walking around with a dildo at the time to do a 'dark alleyway' type rape...
But sexual assault is rape in some cases imo. I believe in 'yes means yes' not 'she pressured me until I reluctantly agreed out of guilt'.
I think it's particularly disgusting in the case of Glynn Maxwell and paedo women like that.
The way women are raised though? Many women are afraid of being slut shamed even over consensual sex or being raped themselves. If a woman was a rapist (sexual assaulter), 'slut' is the least I would call her.
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Not actually a girl
He/him
Yes it's possible for a woman to rape. I don't see what is stopping a woman from spiking a man's drink and having sex with him when he is out or if a man has drank too much and the woman comes onto him and has sex with him.
If a man had sex with a woman who had too much to drink, that is rape but if it's the other way around, it should still be rape. If both were drunk, then they both raped each other, you can't just charge the man only for rape or else the woman shall be charged for rape as well.
I think it's rare for a man to be raped by a woman without doing the above. The woman would have to be bigger and stronger than the man and it has happened before, that victim appeared on the Dr. Phil show. His ex was actually bigger than him and she got on top of him and held him down and wouldn't stop when he told her too. Of course his ex denied it on the show but when I read about the case online, it tells a different story than what she told.
https://www.tampabay.com/archive/2011/0 ... -means-no/
And don't forget, when a woman has sex with an underage boy under the age of consent, she has raped him. it's called statutory rape. If it was the other way around, people would be angry and out raped than a man has sex with a 14 year old but if it's a 14 year old boy and a grown woman, people don't take it seriously and the woman is treated as a victim or everyone defends her saying she made a mistake. It's like people forget about the age of consent laws when it comes to women doing it and it's like the rules don't apply anymore.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
Wait what? Is that what the law say where you're from?

Here two drunk people having sex is completely legal if both are willing and old enough. Of course, if one or the other passes out before they have sex and then the one that's still awake puts a hand on the one who's out, then that's a rape (or was the official term sexual assault? Not sure, but it's definitely illegal.)
I've been taught to fear certain kind of people, but I don't fear them naturally. Actually I have almost no fear and love a bit of danger. If nobody is watching I'd wander off to anywhere. That's probably very bad for a little woman who can't defend herself. I've read that autistic people are often fearless, isn't that true?
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Not for me. I've always been a wimp, and as an overthinker I have always been cautious of danger. It might be why I've never broken a bone before in my life even though I was a rather active child who liked to climb trees.
I remember when I was 8 I was playing among the trees outside my house, when a car drew up with 2 unfamiliar men inside. One of them leaned out of the window and asked me if I wanted to get in. I didn't say anything, I just turned around and ran home as fast as I could.
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Female
No way.
I fear dogs, needles, people. All at phobia/anxiety level. As well as a bunch of other stuff just at normal level. I was a massively cowardly kid mostly due to my dyspraxia affecting depth perception and motor skills.
What is true is that predator blindness exists more for aspies. Which like you said, isn't great for short people and esp women and kids.
UK rape laws require penetration. That's the sole reason cis women can't be charged with rape. Even that has certain exceptions, just she would need to be more premeditated than he would need to be. I think the press still needs to be careful how they discuss women who had sex with someone without consent or through coercion - use language like 'sexually assaulted'/'molested' rather than euphemistic language like 'had sex with'.
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Not actually a girl
He/him
I am not a woman, however, i think that woman are wise to be street wise, rather than hyper vigilant or paranoid.
I have watched a few shows on netflix about killers (which I note are extremely rare!! !),
but killers like Ted Bundy are extremely manipulative con people who can manipulate their victims into
feeling sorry for them in order for them to get them where they want.
I know some people who are extremely manipulative / dishonest / con men types, and they likely have committed crimes. Among this group of people include woman. Although the woman that i know who are manipulative sociopaths aren't sexual predators, I do believe that the ones that i know are dangerous and would kill people who they have a grudge against if they could work out a way to do so.
So, yep, wise to be street wise but non judgemental.
My ex-wife is someone who i believe is a sociopath, or at the very least manipulated by sociopaths whom she started cheating on me around the time that my older brother died of a drug overdose.
I believe that my ex-wife was cheating on me, and the man who she was cheating on me with incited her to attempt to frame me for crimes that i would not commit.
While i was grieving she violently assaulted me while i lay in bed.
Around this period, she also tried to get me to act out rape fantasies with her, which i refused.
I believe that she had a camera in the ceiling, her step sisters boy friend at the time is an amateur film maker.
I believe that the sadists tried all sorts of elaborate hate crimes without, which i think were ultimately designed to cause my death through suicide.
Luckily for me I refused to hit her, and most certainly refused to play out her rape fantasies.
I am simply not wired like that, i do not get off on physically hurting woman or anyone, in matter of fact.
Thank fully i got rid of her, although she kept wanting to come back.
I realise that anyone who would assault their partner while they are in the early stages of shock and grief after losing their only sibling, and who pulls all these other horrific stunts (i.e. constantly attempting to provoke me to hit her, and trying to get me to play out her rape fantasies) is a danger to my physical and mental health and her reason for wanting to continue the relationship was likely so that she could finish her job, which i believe was murder.
There have been a few woman serial killers in history, and perhaps more than history would like to admit,
especially murders that involve organised groups of occultists, as it gives a theme to the murder game, as well as giving a group of amoral people a reason to bully someone to death. Yep. I would say that some of the people who die of suicide, do so after years of psychological abuse. Such abuse can come from woman as well as men.
Still, please do not recognise my post as an attack against woman, as it is not.
My intention for the post was to say, sure, be aware of the dangers, but keep your feet on the ground and stay with the objective evidence rather than hear say / slander, as there are plenty benign characters in society that haven't done anything to anyone but who get bullied to death by the wealthy / better looking / younger folk.
As the law works, go by the evidence rather than old wives tails or witch hunts.
If worried about such issues as safety, i can recommend Gracie Jiu Jitsu Woman Empowerment course in self defence.
This course is specifically designed to help a woman learn to defend themselves against a sexual predator.
You can find this course at the following link:
woman empowered gracie jiu jitsu self defence course

I think that the idea comes from autistic people not always understanding/noticing what's dangerous, so they might seem fearless while in reality they're just clueless. Autistic people will learn to fear too, either through bad experiences or because they're taught to fear something.
As a child I was taught to wash my hands every time after I played with our cats, because otherwise I could get sick (I lived on a farm and the cats stayed in the outdoor buildings), so I was scared of touching my face or anything before I had washed my hands very carefully.
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