I attract people with learning difficulties/lower IQ

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theprisoner
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09 Oct 2021, 4:19 pm

I cant help but attract people with lower iq, it's a real drag sometimes. I'm brighter than average yet not really brilliant enough to be in mensa. AND if somebody isn't atleast what i would call "bright" i just can't click with them.


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Itendswithmexx
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15 Oct 2021, 11:05 pm

Eh at least you aren’t attracting people who want to pretend to like you just to ruin a part of you. Kinda messes with your head and is a major waste of time. Glad to know there’s a lot of psychos around. That just makes deciding to get a hysterectomy so much easier.

You don’t have to stick with people jyst cause they like you, if you want people who are equal or smarter than you than find a way to form a friendship you’re not doomed to eternity with people with low iqs. Maybe they just think you’re approaching and nice. Maybe you talk slow. Lots of smart people don’t look smart.



cyberdad
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15 Oct 2021, 11:26 pm

Over the years I tended to attract narcissists. I think they like the validation in my voice.



babybird
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16 Oct 2021, 4:35 am

cyberdad wrote:
Over the years I tended to attract narcissists. I think they like the validation in my voice.


Yeah narcs like me too but I'm quite lucky in that I recognise them straight away and I run like f*****g hell.

I generally gravitate towards people of an average intelligence.

I used to always gravitate towards drug addicts, criminals and people on the fringes of society but as I grew up this changed because that was just to do with my own lifestyle.



browneyedgirlslowingdown
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16 Oct 2021, 2:03 pm

Hmm. This is an interesting post.

I might attract men that are narcissistic romantically and friends too. There also seems to be a bit of people that are drawn to me and refer to me as..free-spirited, comfortable with myself, and want support in doing this themselves. Lastly, people seek me out for validation. Hmm. Lot's to think about.

I am always wondering how to connect to people who do not relate to me this way, but differently, but I can never dins any footing or ground to work with between us.

Trauma perhaps. Shrug.


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Joe90
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16 Oct 2021, 4:19 pm

Not only I attract people with learning difficulties, I get on very well with those sort of people too and I feel a sense of belonging.


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16 Oct 2021, 4:22 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Not only I attract people with learning difficulties, I get on very well with those sort of people too and I feel a sense of belonging.


Personally I put most of my efforts into making friends with people who seem 'on the same wavelength' because that's the only time it seems natural.


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cyberdad
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17 Oct 2021, 12:12 am

I think the missing ingredient is community.

We all have in common is that we live in individualistic societies where individual relationships tend to be transactional and the emphasis is placed on "compatibility".

When you are part of a community it's like a bag of liquorice all-sorts or like Forrest Gump's box of chocolates. In my experience the greatest time I had was with a group of people of diverse backgrounds, intelligence and genders. I never bought into the idea of "best friends" or only looking for people on my "wavelength".

To illustrate the 70s TV sitcom "Cheers" highlighted how people living in cities were lonely (even those who were married or had friends) and that the disparate group who kept meeting at the Cheers bar for a drink after work became part of a temporary community who shared experiences at the bar over a few drinks became both an enriching experience and the highlight of their lives.

Attracting people who are different is not a bad thing. Imagine if you are a doctor and the only people you are friends with are other doctors or if you are a PhD and you only want to mix with other academics. How boring would that be after a while.



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27 Nov 2021, 1:51 am

I seem to attract “neckbeards”, gamers, anime fans and atheists. I have some slightly nerdy obscure interests, but I’m not into gaming and more mainstream nerdy things.

I’m also technically not an atheist. I actually have some pretty woo woo beliefs, but I don’t like to share them very much. What I don’t get is why I attract so many extreme atheist/skeptic types if I’m so woo woo.



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27 Nov 2021, 2:30 am

Mona Pereth wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
Why do I attract/get along with people with mild learning difficulties?

Because we don't fit in with mainstream society, the only people we are likely to attract are fellow oddballs of one kind or another.

What kind of oddballs we attract will depend on, among other things, our interests. Other factors being equal, those of us with strong intellectual interests will tend to attract higher-IQ people, while those of us without strong intellectual interests will tend to attract lower-IQ people, it seems to me.


I agree with this mostly, but I have a high IQ and attract less intelligent people to me. I have no one to really share my interests with.

My parents have low IQs and bad social skills. I think being comfortable with them makes me comfortable with others who are similar, and as another poster said, non-threatening and safe to be around.

Growing up we didn't spend time with NTs, so I didn't learn to socialise with them other than at school, but being me and having my background I didn't relate to the NTs.



cyberdad
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27 Nov 2021, 5:00 am

BugsBunnyFan wrote:
I seem to attract “neckbeards”, gamers, anime fans and atheists..


:lol: :lol:



cyberdad
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27 Nov 2021, 5:01 am

hurtloam wrote:
Mona Pereth wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
Why do I attract/get along with people with mild learning difficulties?

Because we don't fit in with mainstream society, the only people we are likely to attract are fellow oddballs of one kind or another.

What kind of oddballs we attract will depend on, among other things, our interests. Other factors being equal, those of us with strong intellectual interests will tend to attract higher-IQ people, while those of us without strong intellectual interests will tend to attract lower-IQ people, it seems to me.


I agree with this mostly, but I have a high IQ and attract less intelligent people to me. I have no one to really share my interests with.

My parents have low IQs and bad social skills. I think being comfortable with them makes me comfortable with others who are similar, and as another poster said, non-threatening and safe to be around.

Growing up we didn't spend time with NTs, so I didn't learn to socialise with them other than at school, but being me and having my background I didn't relate to the NTs.


Oh for goodness sake, what is wrong with people who have lower IQ's than you?? And also how do you know they have low IQs just because they don't share your interests?



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27 Nov 2021, 9:58 am

cyberdad wrote:
BugsBunnyFan wrote:
I seem to attract “neckbeards”, gamers, anime fans and atheists..


:lol: :lol:

Image



hurtloam
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27 Nov 2021, 10:05 am

cyberdad wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Mona Pereth wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
Why do I attract/get along with people with mild learning difficulties?

Because we don't fit in with mainstream society, the only people we are likely to attract are fellow oddballs of one kind or another.

What kind of oddballs we attract will depend on, among other things, our interests. Other factors being equal, those of us with strong intellectual interests will tend to attract higher-IQ people, while those of us without strong intellectual interests will tend to attract lower-IQ people, it seems to me.


I agree with this mostly, but I have a high IQ and attract less intelligent people to me. I have no one to really share my interests with.

My parents have low IQs and bad social skills. I think being comfortable with them makes me comfortable with others who are similar, and as another poster said, non-threatening and safe to be around.

Growing up we didn't spend time with NTs, so I didn't learn to socialise with them other than at school, but being me and having my background I didn't relate to the NTs.


Oh for goodness sake, what is wrong with people who have lower IQ's than you?? And also how do you know they have low IQs just because they don't share your interests?


I didn't say there was anything wrong with them. We enjoy some things in common and they are good friends.

However, I have no one to go listen to challenging, cerebral music with or films or art exhibitions. I enjoy pretentious arty crap.

I can't pretend not to enjoy things that go over other people's heads. So I go alone. I'd love a buddy to join me.

We went to see a film last week and my friend turned to me when it finished and said, "What was that!" She didn't get it at all.



cyberdad
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27 Nov 2021, 4:52 pm

hurtloam wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Mona Pereth wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
Why do I attract/get along with people with mild learning difficulties?

Because we don't fit in with mainstream society, the only people we are likely to attract are fellow oddballs of one kind or another.

What kind of oddballs we attract will depend on, among other things, our interests. Other factors being equal, those of us with strong intellectual interests will tend to attract higher-IQ people, while those of us without strong intellectual interests will tend to attract lower-IQ people, it seems to me.


I agree with this mostly, but I have a high IQ and attract less intelligent people to me. I have no one to really share my interests with.

My parents have low IQs and bad social skills. I think being comfortable with them makes me comfortable with others who are similar, and as another poster said, non-threatening and safe to be around.

Growing up we didn't spend time with NTs, so I didn't learn to socialise with them other than at school, but being me and having my background I didn't relate to the NTs.


Oh for goodness sake, what is wrong with people who have lower IQ's than you?? And also how do you know they have low IQs just because they don't share your interests?


I didn't say there was anything wrong with them. We enjoy some things in common and they are good friends.

However, I have no one to go listen to challenging, cerebral music with or films or art exhibitions. I enjoy pretentious arty crap.

I can't pretend not to enjoy things that go over other people's heads. So I go alone. I'd love a buddy to join me.

We went to see a film last week and my friend turned to me when it finished and said, "What was that!" She didn't get it at all.


Ok well, common interests are fine, understandable. But I think it's not nice to compare with IQ.

In the NT world nobody tries to match themselves based on IQ, it's elitist. However, female graduates do sometimes seek equally educated men (men on the other hand aren't so picky).



hurtloam
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27 Nov 2021, 5:28 pm

I think this thread is using the term IQ quite loosely to just mean intelligence.

Yes it's elitist to be all like, ooh I could get into Mensa, but the facts are some people are more and less intelligent than others. That's just how it is.

Your average Joe Bloggs wouldn't talk about intelligence because they are surrounded by others of similar intelligence and interests so don't feel different.

Should we never ever mention difference?