How do men do it?

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crying was systematically beat out of me. but i still do cry. i also have stendhal's syndrome and a lot of sublimated tears find their outlet there.

a movie that made me weep and then numbed me, was "AI-Artificial Intelligence." the "flesh faire" scene with the old discarded robots being systematically tortured and mutilated/destroyed just about did me in esp. when the robot nanny sang a french lullaby to david. i so desperately wanted to be blotto after i watched that.

Damn, I was never beaten for it but so glad it didn't work for you, it's healthy. Stendhal's syndrome sounds like could get some interesting stories.

^^^stendhal's syndrome means having to flee people when an emotion hits you hard.

Not that I cried, but I remember when Rambo girl got shot.



Co Phuong Bao
Gender
Female
Died
1985
Shot to death by ( the EVIL )Lieutenant Tay

I dont' know why i found it sad. Maybe it's cause she was Cute. And kicked ass aswell!

Rambo always had everything go wrong. Ever since he drifted into town and was hosed down by cops, lol, went for a motorcycle ride, fell down a tree, (stallone broke his ribs irl) and had to sear his wounds shut all alone in the forest after nearly being blown up...Poor rambo...

I think it does men good to cry. I don't see it as emasculate. In fact, I always say real men cry. I find it beautiful seeing a man crying because his pet died, or because his daughter is getting married, or because his mother is ill, or even just at a sad movie. It shows he cares and is expressing his feelings. What's so wrong with that?

But on the other hand it must be great to be yelled at unfairly by your boss and being able to just shrug it off and carry on without shedding a tear of resentment ("why does the boss always pick on me?" or "yelling at me in front of all those people, it was so humiliating!").
Perhaps men don't feel these emotions enough to make them cry? I feel emotions very strongly, so an embarrassing situation could set me off blubbering as soon as I find a bathroom. Then when I've finished crying I'm all right again. It's better to have a shoulder to cry on though.

These are some of the movies have made me literally cry my eyes out:-

My Girl
Carrie
Hocus Pocus (at the end)
The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas
The Lion King
The Fox And The Hound
Bambi

But the one that makes me howl with tears the most severely is Grandpa by Raymond Briggs. Trust me, if you watched the end you'll cry too, no matter what age or gender, you will cry your eyes out.

I think women are hardwired genetically to be more emotional so they form a bond with potential newborns / children. Of course men need to bond with their children as well, and have a range of emotions including empathy, but mothers give birth and the father isn't always there. I can't think of the scientific words but something to do with prolactin and women's hormones. It's related to the way women can bond with / love screaming newborns instead of rejecting them. We know women don't all give birth and people have different hormone levels regardless of their birth sex, but I think that attributes for some of the difference. Plus of course the toxic social conditioning of little boys, as other people have mentioned.

I've never been much of a crier but I also feel rather masculine or nonbinary in my "core self", like I don't really have a gender. I have a lot of empathy and love / emotions, but crying has never come easily for me. I wish I knew why I've been bawling my eyes out so much lately. It's kind of like a breakthrough.

I Dreamed a Dream - Les Mis Anne Hathaway (the movie)


I saw this in the cinema with my mother and daughter. I was already very familiar with the story / song, but I could barely breathe trying to hold back my tears. I relate to this song sooo much and it gets me on a visceral level because of trauma, but something in the cinematography turned me inside out more than usual. I guess because it's such a close up of her face, as opposed to live theatre where you are farther away.

There's no way I can cry in front of people, especially my mother. I could barely breathe. It made me almost sick trying to hold back my emotions. This is the first time I've watched it since.