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BugsBunnyFan
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07 Jan 2024, 9:50 am

I feel like people often understand me way better when they don’t know my gender or think I’m a guy. I marked my gender as nonbinary here at first. It drew too much attention to my gender, so I changed it to female. I experience the outside world as a cis woman, but I don’t think my gender defines everything about me. Online I prefer not to mention my gender. I’d say I’m feminine like bugs bunny is feminine when he wears a dress.



blitzkrieg
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07 Jan 2024, 10:03 am

People do make assumptions about gender for sure.

It's not something I give much thought to, however.



BugsBunnyFan
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07 Jan 2024, 12:20 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:
People do make assumptions about gender for sure.

It's not something I give much thought to, however.

I find people see me way differently when they know my gender. Even though people aren’t necessarily hostile when they see me as female, I find I’m seen more like a whole human being when they assume I’m male.



blitzkrieg
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07 Jan 2024, 12:36 pm

Most people are not very aware of gender issues in detail, although many people aspire to be so because of political correctness, or because they themselves are gender non-conforming in some way.

It's not surprising that some people will treat others differently because of this kind of thing, even it the different treatment is not morally justified or whatever.



lostonearth35
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07 Jan 2024, 12:58 pm

Sometimes I think I should when I hear how women are often treated like garbage and sent death and rape threats for things like playing video games. You'd think guys who like video games would love being with a woman who does also, because they share the same interest. But no, too many guys are all Gamergate and even think women shouldn't be allowed to play video games at all. That's really scary and evil.

And then there the incel communities who can't understand why women aren't attracted to them and then they do things like laugh at a woman who is crying. Seriously.

And then there's the fact that people seem to think women aren't on the internet at *all*, and they talk about us as if we aren't even there. It's really annoying and it's something I know I will have to put up with until the day I stop using internet, which likely won't be for a very long time.



BugsBunnyFan
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07 Jan 2024, 2:06 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:
Most people are not very aware of gender issues in detail, although many people aspire to be so because of political correctness, or because they themselves are gender non-conforming in some way.

It's not surprising that some people will treat others differently because of this kind of thing, even it the different treatment is not morally justified or whatever.

It’s not just about hostile sexism. I find when people see me as female they don’t see the more analytical side of me. They mainly just see me as emotional and “right brained”. That side of me is only really acknowledged when people don’t know my gender. I guess I have similar issues with autism. I find people often understand me better when they don’t know my autism label. Sometimes they do, but sometimes they don’t. Stuff like gender or autism definitely affects some things. Just not everything.



funeralxempire
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07 Jan 2024, 2:12 pm

BugsBunnyFan wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Most people are not very aware of gender issues in detail, although many people aspire to be so because of political correctness, or because they themselves are gender non-conforming in some way.

It's not surprising that some people will treat others differently because of this kind of thing, even it the different treatment is not morally justified or whatever.

It’s not just about hostile sexism. I find when people see me as female they don’t see the more analytical side of me. They mainly just see me as emotional and “right brained”. That side of me is only really acknowledged when people don’t know my gender. I guess I have similar issues with autism. I find people often understand me better when they don’t know my autism label. Sometimes they do, but sometimes they don’t. Stuff like gender or autism definitely affects some things. Just not everything.


I wonder if it's that some people can't help but think in stereotypes, so once you disclose something that forms a stereotype they start to operate off of stereotypes rather than what you've demonstrated.

Doesn't excuse it in the slightest, but might identify a common trend.


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BugsBunnyFan
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07 Jan 2024, 2:15 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
BugsBunnyFan wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Most people are not very aware of gender issues in detail, although many people aspire to be so because of political correctness, or because they themselves are gender non-conforming in some way.

It's not surprising that some people will treat others differently because of this kind of thing, even it the different treatment is not morally justified or whatever.

It’s not just about hostile sexism. I find when people see me as female they don’t see the more analytical side of me. They mainly just see me as emotional and “right brained”. That side of me is only really acknowledged when people don’t know my gender. I guess I have similar issues with autism. I find people often understand me better when they don’t know my autism label. Sometimes they do, but sometimes they don’t. Stuff like gender or autism definitely affects some things. Just not everything.


I wonder if it's that some people can't help but think in stereotypes, so once you disclose something that forms a stereotype they start to operate off of stereotypes rather than what you've demonstrated.

Doesn't excuse it in the slightest, but might identify a common trend.

I definitely have “feminine” personality traits like being emotional, but also plenty of “masculine” traits. It just seems like my “masculine” traits go completely unnoticed when people know my gender. Even people who are nice to me. I guess it is stereotyping.



funeralxempire
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07 Jan 2024, 2:18 pm

BugsBunnyFan wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
BugsBunnyFan wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Most people are not very aware of gender issues in detail, although many people aspire to be so because of political correctness, or because they themselves are gender non-conforming in some way.

It's not surprising that some people will treat others differently because of this kind of thing, even it the different treatment is not morally justified or whatever.

It’s not just about hostile sexism. I find when people see me as female they don’t see the more analytical side of me. They mainly just see me as emotional and “right brained”. That side of me is only really acknowledged when people don’t know my gender. I guess I have similar issues with autism. I find people often understand me better when they don’t know my autism label. Sometimes they do, but sometimes they don’t. Stuff like gender or autism definitely affects some things. Just not everything.


I wonder if it's that some people can't help but think in stereotypes, so once you disclose something that forms a stereotype they start to operate off of stereotypes rather than what you've demonstrated.

Doesn't excuse it in the slightest, but might identify a common trend.

I definitely have “feminine” personality traits like being emotional, but also plenty of “masculine” traits. It just seems like my “masculine” traits go completely unnoticed when people know my gender. Even people who are nice to me. I guess it is stereotyping.


I've experienced the mirror image of that. It's frustrating because it's almost like they're reducing you to an NPC on some level. You're realize to them you're not actually you, you're just who they assume you are.


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Handa Rei
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07 Jan 2024, 9:49 pm

I would prefer not to disclose my gender online, but I find it's rarely possible. Options like non-binary or agender don't suffice, because people are going to have assumptions about them too. That's also why I haven't disclosed my autism diagnosis outside of this site, because for the most part people just aren't going to know much about it. In place of knowledge there will likely just be stereotypes and misinformation. The same goes for gender, it seems to me.

I would rather people think of me as just me, whatever that looks like to them. That image will be fraught with enough inaccurate assumptions, I'd prefer not to also have labels muddying the waters.



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07 Jan 2024, 9:58 pm

I don't know why gender is relevant.
I've heard that most forums don't ask it at all.


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31 Jan 2024, 8:11 pm

A lot of the time online, the spaces I am in tend to be male dominated. I find that when I reveal I am female, men don't judge me based on my qualities as much as they would if I was a man. Rather, they start making assumptions about me. Either people are rude, creepy, or too nice suddenly. I feel like I have to "prove" my worth more when I am a woman. When I do reveal that I am a woman, people mock my voice on voice calls. They insist that I am a transgender as an insult. There's nothing wrong with being transgender, but I am not one, and I don't like being labelled as something I'm not.

People tend to automatically call me "he" online, and I just never correct them. I think it's easier to interact with people and find friends that way. You never know if someone is just talking to you because you are a woman, and trying to take advantage of you. I am very gullible and easy to trick. I find myself falling for, in hindsight, such stupid tricks men have played on me.

I tend to reveal my gender in spaces where I feel like it may not have that type of effect as much, or those where I feel comfortable. I try to avoid revealing it in very male dominated spaces.



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31 Jan 2024, 11:23 pm

I prefer being treated gender-neutrally, mostly because I'm agender.


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01 Feb 2024, 7:55 am

I don't mind.
And I don't even care.

It's just convenient;
Revealing my gender makes others more predictable...
And hiding it is just fun.


The only times I'd reduce into 'gender' or anything for that matter; is only and only when dysregulation happens -- which I utterly despise for ever happening because that's when I cannot defend myself.


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Esme
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07 Feb 2024, 10:01 pm

It isn't deliberate, but unless I clearly state I'm a woman then people tend to assume I'm a guy 99% of the time and I don't bother correcting them. Unless I'm planning to meet up with them in real life, then I don't mind what they think. In real life people make a LOT of assumptions about me based on the way I look, and my appearance doesn't really match who I am. So it's nice to get a break and just be allowed to exist as myself sometimes. The internet is great for that.