Ladies.., view on tough guys.

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This is the 3-4rd offence of going into the girl forum

I am not tough guy, not even feisty. Probably a tough guy is a guy who cares about reputation. In a nutshell a tough is a mini ganksta of various degrees, .

I today my mother got into an argument with a crook who sold her perfume, that was water. The guy decided to cut sale short leave in a hurry, knocking and the sight owner in the process with his pickup truck, so a snapped him a punch threw the his open window.

They guy came back 5 minutes later with a bruise in one of his eyes; I am open to the possibility that when went away he made it look worse. He said that he has called the police. I simply said he probably had loads of brushes with the law, and I have had none. He didn’t want any trouble and he did give back the money as he didn’t want any trouble in future.

It has confirmed all along. It is easier to retaliate when someone is clearly in wrong. And I never retaliate when I am not sure where I stand.

Last week when I was doing a car boot sale with my mother, as we occationally do 7 or 8 yearly, my mother tells me what to do. To me it is just a set of instructions, to other people selling it appears to be like bossing me around. She is elderly and cannot do it her self. I guess that NTs could not tolerate being told what to do because it damages their ego, and naturally annoys them. I only come into conflict, when I disagree with her and it isn’t shouting match either.

My older sister is different. Example if my mother makes a statement like “look there is a carpark space there”, my sister would respond, “I know!! I am not stupid; I see the spot with my own two eyes… bla bla bla.” I would just respond by parking in it, since I don’t disagree with her. I wonder what does I guy do pretend to care about trivia when I don’t care, in order to give the right image.

It wouldn’t bother me what image I show; however, I am single with 5 years away from 40’s with only sub-relationships to show.

Thanks for listening , and I will now leave the womans forum with the temptation to read other posts like Do you think you'll grow up to be a crazy old cat lady?
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I don't like the tough guys. They are usually very bossy, think you should be very subserviant and yes like you mentioned get their egos bruised. If you show any signs of intelligence you are bashed for it.

I see nothing wrong with punching a guy that just ran into your frail mother with a truck. Obviously he didn't either, or he would have pressed charges. That's just all kinds of wrong. (Unless he was just really scared of you and fleeing blindly.)

As for her "ordering you around", that's a hard call. Either you're just the caring good son helping his difficuly mother, or maybe you come accross as a mamma's boy, wimpy rather than tough.

No offense meant here, All I have to go on is what you wrote, and you seem to really want opinions. Nobody jump on me for being mean, that's not my intent.

Do you live with your mother? You didn't say. If so, this could look either caring or wimpy, depending on what people see. However, either way a pontential girlfriend would probably worry that she'd never come first with you, and it would always be whatever mom wants. (Good for mom, bad for dating.)

Personally, what I like in a guy: I don't want somebody who starts fights. Most can be resolved without viloence. But I want to know that if necessary, he will step up and defend me without hesitation. I want to feel that I am the most important person in his life. So tough and strong is good, but not violent. (When you see a guy beating someone, you can't help but fear him a little, what if you piss him off? Probably not, but he's capable..... gotta wonder.)
Yes, you should care about your family, but not drop everything and run to them everytime they want. (I'm not talking crisis here, emergencies are different.)

If by "retaliate" you mean "kick ass", well, that's rarely necessary. I don't think you meant it that way, if you're 35 and have no police record. And by the way, that's not so old.


Please don't be insulted.

I don't like to be around people who like to fight, but I don't think that this necessarily has anything to do with the tough guy image. Some people have that image, but aren't especially violent, whereas other people look harmless but are violent. You can't tell how someone's going to act based on what they look like. But, no, I don't like "tough" actions like aggression and dominance.

Sorry my grammar isn’t clear he hit me and the site owner with his truck.

I don’t live with my mother purely for this reason you said. Sometime I think it is a waste of money sometime.

I wonder if my mother sound over bearing. But she is far from it, ok I originally bough my first car without her consent didn’t please her well. But know she has my trust on the road and I don’t get no meltdowns or anything. I came with none of the stress she gets when driving with her sister. She never wanted for herself for anything and I don’t think anyone could provide like she did.

She is the mother of an aspie and her natural instants have adopted to bring up an aspie. It isn’t going to always look right to an onlooker. But generally there nothing unhealthy about this family except my sister always spends to much time on the internet.

No, I am not insulted, I am to much like Mr Spock.

Well, you sound okay to me.

Your mom, hey I don't know, but it's not like we can really do anything about our parents anyway. If you're cool with her, good enough.

However, you do know that the clubs aren't a great place to find a relationship, don't you? I assume you're looking for more than a night or two.

Listening to your mama isnt necessarily a sissy boy thing. It shows you have the respect for her that many people dont for their own moms. Its obvious that you are not a mama's boy or you would have never confronted that punk in the first place.

Not completely accurate, as zghost said, a woman wants to know that loyalties lies with them. If I have to sacrifice so much of myself to be NT like then I simply cannot give that kind of loyalty to an NT girl. And even when I am with them, I will always be looking for an apie girl.

I wonder if an Aspie club will ever be invented (without all the bad points of regular clubs).