OK. Lots of stuff there...
First off, I don't think you can really 'lose your virginity' any other way than by actually having sex. What you mean is break your hymen, the fold of tissue that sometimes partly covers the opening inside. Not all girls are even born with one, and a large number break it without even knowing it during everyday things like school sports, or with tampons if you've ever used them. So, it's not a big deal, but if you're worried about it, just don't put anything actually in your vagina. There's not actually that much sensation inside anyway, so you are best off concentrating on the clitoris.
Most likely thing sounds like you are getting aroused, you just haven't found what will put you over the edge yet. Vibrators are cool for some people, but others find them just too intense, and your fingers may work better. Take your time, explore different kinds of movement, and don't be afraid to fantasize - it can help hugely. All bodies are different, and what turns you on won't be what turns on any other woman.
I would strongly advise you get hold of a book called 'Sex for One' by a lady called Betty Dodson, who actually runs workshops about selflove, as she calls it. Lots of helpful hints in there.
(While tingling is probably normal, if you're getting actual pain down there I would check with your doctor just to make sure everything's OK.)
I think you're incredibly lucky in your mother supporting you in this - there is absolutely no way I could have talked about that kind of thing to mine at any age. It took me till after 30 to get comfortable with my body in that way, so don't worry - you're just a bit of a late bloomer, and trust me, you have plenty to look forward to!
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