How much is considered abuse? ((Boys allowed and welcomed.))

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To give a bit of background information to you all, for the past month or so I have been fencing with sticks casually after lunch in school, mostly with the boys and only one girl ((coincidentally, the only girl I have any form of physical respect for in my school because she is not afraid to fight and be visious, it is a small school, so you can know everyone personally, and I know that she is the only other girl who is not afraid to be tough.)) So I tend to always fight with the boys. Now, only recently, I have gotten anything short of bad news from this, my English Teacher is mad at one of the boys, saying he's "picking on me" even after I have told her that I tend to hurt him far more than he does me. So, I just have to wonder, is there anything of sexism involved in this play? The boy in question has yet to ever land a single scratch on me, the girl and I tend to give each other a few cuts and scratches, and my recentmost fight with a guy won me bruises.

I just want your opinions, how much is enough before a third party is allowed to call abuse? And why is it that I have given many boys more than their fair share of bruises, and haven't gotten into trouble, but one guy who has yet to hurt me at all is getting in trouble, isn't that a double-standard?

Some boys do get bruised because of how they play and interact with each other. Regardless of age. Sometimes they get seriously hurt, sometimes not. Girls are commonly more toward talk an emotional interactions. Maybe there are other reasons the boy in question is getting in trouble.

On the other hand, if you tell another person that you are 'harming' them and that they are harming you, they will take you at your word, and think that harm is being done.

Intentionaly harming by a forceful or uninvited way is abuse or bullying. Hitting each other with sticks because you both think it's fun, isn't abuse. Just don't take any dangerous risks, or harm the body too much. The person you fence with needs to be ok with it to.

If your in the US, a teacher can contact CPS even if its just a feeling and there is no physical proof. In fact if a teacher even suspects abuse (from anyone mind you, not just parents/guardians), they are legally mandated to report it. Now most teachers won't file a claim without proof, but legally they are allowed to.

What kind of branches do you use? Thick, dead, broken branches are going to hurt and make more marks. Are you Fencing or its it just like sword play? Fencing is a lot more structured. Use a live branch off a tree ( not too bendable but enough so that a direct thrust doesn't break it or pierce the skin). If its swordplay then it's kinda dangerous, one screwed up parry and someone loses an eye, or a broken arm.

yup...lunge, parry, thrust. If there's 'rules' to the situation, it's probably not abuse. Abuse would be if someone is told to stop, and doesn't. If you're lucky, your middle school might have fencing class. I took it in college, and got creamed (one by one) by the entire class...

just don't let yourself get really hurt.

I wasn't saying girls or women were any less capable at fencing, or even that any of the boys WERE holding back. Like it or not, it has historically been this way, etc..., and it may simply be unfair, especially since he IS likely to be unjustly punished if she so mch as gets a tiny bruise, but the idea of just using sticks for fencing IS a bad idea. Granted, it is UNLIKELY that you will get much more than a scratch, but there ARE all sorts of things that could happen.

As for men and women fencing together, the normal garb puts them both at a similar footing, and no male is going to feel like he has to or should hold back. And HECK, he might not even KNOW his opponent is a girl, if she is young, etc.... And fencing is one sport where neither sex is likely to have to do anything uncomfortable, or be at a disadvantage.

Besides, if you are going to brag that you have done better than ALL of the opponents of the opposite sex, doesn't it seem only fair to remove as many of the mitigating claims as possible?

I kind of like the scene in the lindsay lohan version of the parent trap when she plays both parts, and she removes the mask, after fencing, and turns around to reveal they look alike. But they DID use proper fencing equipment.

Ehh, the only real rules we have are no shots above the neck, no grabbing another weapon ((unless of course, you'd like the other to get it back in unorthodox ways, i.e. biting.)) And the person who runs off first loses.

But really, the double standard bothers me, I like fighting boys because they are stronger, and it's sort of an ego boost if they go all-out and I still win, and because ((with the exception of one girl, who is one I fight with.)) The majority of the girls at my school are wimpy and weak.

But what bothers me is that, still to this day, there is a double-standard placed on men and woman. Now, while I'll admit, the sexes will never be able to compare as 'equal' as we are far to different, true, genetically, boys tend to be bigger and stronger, but also genetically, girls tend to be more personal and vicious. Both are key in the sort of thing I do after lunch.

But I just have to wonder if the teacher has any right to bother one of my favorite opponants about it when he rarely lays a blow to me, for him, it is moreso taunting and talking than actually hitting. For him, it is the feast of ego, for me, it's an outlet on rage from the day and a grand way to excersize.

And, to answer the question about the sticks themselves, either dead or alive, I just find what's on the ground, the boy who gets in trouble tends to pick them strait from the tree.

But yes, all of this is consensual, both parties agree, someone either ends up hurt or humiliated ((for example, I have made the boy run away several times, and when the girl and I fight, we both end up cut and bruised all over and laughing like mad about it.))

You DO sound like you're a kick(fun/playful)! But women have worked towards INCREASING the double standard, at least against males. A husband can EVEN get locked up for raping his WIFE! Apparently with little more evidence than her claim.

BTW I am NOT advocating violence against women, but simply saying that MOST evidence of rape is available in the act of sex, and some women even WANT their husbands/boyfriends to act agressive, etc... or pretend to rape, so even a 100% witness may misjudge. In any event, there have apparently been judgements even with NO evidence of violence.

BTW Sticks on the ground are likely to cut more, and be harder. They could also have various bacteria from the ground, as well as all sorts of other things. So, even there, you and he are playing a bit differently.
You may never know if he was really going all out.

In any event, YOU could end up with scars and some possible problems, and he could end up with that, and maybe even in Juvinile detention! Why don't you simply try to fence with normal equipment? It is safer, more fair, you will be safe from even legal problems, and he would feel free to be more in to it. I realize you might get some special pleasure over hurting that boy, but can't you just forgo some of that?

BTW Scars are more likely as you get older, and can even happen to a small child if infected or things don't seal up just right. So don't think you don't scar.

You know, you could probably reduce the damage just by dropping the sticks and fist-fighting instead.

The "Don't hit girls" double-standard is really a shame; the potential for bloodlust and happy murder is plentiful in both sexes.

I do a similar thing on the weekends with etha-foam swords that barely hurt, roleplaying, and plenty of boys and girls. Highlight of my weeks.

It clearly is not abuse since participants are perfectly willing. Statistically, men are stronger than women, but that does not seem relevant to this particular case. So while I think it would be good to use eye-protection (maybe borrow some safety specs from science labs? swimming goggles?), I don't see a problem if you're sensible about it.
This may sound odd, but if I ever have children I think I'd like a daughter with some your spirit, HarraArial.

If any of the boys in my regular classes in Elementary School would give me a hart time, I used to beat them up. I'd always win, as well.