I have been dating a guy for the past two months and so far it's going pretty well. I went out this past weekend with him and two of my girlfriends. I think it's important for two people who are dating to meet each other's friends to get a better idea of what the other person is like. I noticed that the guy I'm seeing seemed a little too attentive to one of my friends. I strongly suspect he is on the autism spectrum himself. He stared at my friend quite a bit and he looked around a lot when we were in the coffee shop. I asked the other girl who went with us if she thought that my friend and the guy were flirting with each other and she didn't think they were flirting with each other. At the coffee shop I decided to just get tea and not get a dessert. He offered to split a dessert with one of the girls who went with us. Neither of these girls is dating anyone so a double date wasn't really an option. He did not make such an offer to the other girl. This friend of mine is really skinny and 11 years younger than I am. The guy in question is 45; she is 26. I am 37. He did ask me out for the following weekend but I am really bothered by his behavior. I am really annoyed with her for acting so bubbly and cute toward him. I am really angry right now and I know technically he didn't do anything wrong. I like this girl and value her friendship very much but sometimes it's hard not to resent her for being a natural beauty and being a person who can eat whatever she wants and not gain weight. I almost feel ashamed for feeling so jealous of her but sometimes the thought "I hate that ##@@##" has crossed my mind. So what should I do? I just feel so angry right now. I know looks are not the most important thing but realistically they are important when it comes to dating. It doesn't make sense that he would ask me out for another weekend if he is not interested in me. I have lost quite a bit of weight but I feel like a fat pig next to her. I am not a shallow person and I do not make snap judgements about the appearance of others. I am so frustrated because I don't know where I stand with the guy I'm dating. The friend of mine opened her mouth and said "I hope you guys get married." He didn't say anything and that made me feel like crap. We have been dating for two months. We kiss and he pays for the dates so I don't see how he could honestly say I am just a platonic friend. On the other hand, obviously it's too soon to expect any kind of committment. I don't want to have a relationship discussion with him because I don't want to scare him away. I hate not knowing where I stand. I wish I knew if he wanted to be exclusive or if he just wants to date casually. What should I do?
12 May 2008, 8:41 am
