too open in conversation

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lol, same here. I cannot count how many times I'll just randomly think of something that I was discussing with someone days ago, and I'll find it VERY appropriate at the moment, or feel a need to say it even though I know they likely will not know what I'm talking about, or remember it, lol.

When I think of something, I feel this undying need to spill it, lol, even if it is just out loud to myself at times. Half of the time I'm talking, it is just to figure something out for myself and I'm not even actually talking to anyone in particular... yet, when I do these things, when I vent or actively try to figure something out, or comment on something days old, everyone looks at me like I'm nuts, or assumes that I'm expecting feedback... even though I'm not really, because I know most of them don't know what I'm talking about.

I guess maybe I just say these things out loud in case anyone has any thoughts to add to it, perspectives I have not thought of yet, etc., but mainly because I really don't know what else to talk about.

Usually when I talk, it's to figure something out... I find no real purpose for small talk, I like explanations, reasons, figuring out things so that they make sense, etc. So I suppose in a way, I assume others enjoy the same things. In the back of my mind, I know most of them do not, but at the same time, what else am I going to talk about with them considering I don't really ever talk about nothing just for the sake of talking.

I often wonder how these automated responses to things came about... I mean, it just seems so odd that people would want generic answers, automatic greetings, etc. rather than anything sincere or well-thought out... and they say WE have communication problems... lol.

Thinking is more fun when you have someone to do it to.

I did manage to teach some distant part of my mind to give canned responses to things, bypassing any part of my brain that actually does anything. The problem, though, is that I can't seem to turn it off, and I keep interrupting private conversations being held nearby. I just can't win, can I?

Yes,

I am.

I've been having a sort of longdistance courtship with an ultra-NT alpha male and I've told him pretty much everything about myself. He's dealt with it pretty well, of course he still doesn't deal with me. I don't know if he ever will, but I hope so (unheard of, for me to want that).

I usually find it's the other way round for me. People are way too open when talking, I'm not.

Ugh. Not sure. It's really hard to filter. And when I do, which I can do often depending on who I'm around, I just end up feeling like a watered down version of myself. I think I've just kept a hoard of mental notes about these situations. Something about the ratio of the amount of time I'm talking vs. time it takes the other person to butt in or start nodding their head so much that it looks like they're just trying to hurry me along. I'm just usually trying to remember that less is better with most people and especially new people. It's hard to fight the urge to continue saying what I want to say in full, but I fear boring people to death or scaring them away. Which I end up doing anyway.

No matter what I do, 95% of people still seem to give me that "there's something off about her" look. There isn't much getting around it.

I have been known to give too much information.

i've only recently learned that people don't really care what i have to say about myself, they just ask it out of courtesy. i always feel the need to talk in depth about whatever's being discussed but i hold back most of the time.

i find socializing so mentally taxing but when i try to be myself around people it's hard because i've been training myself to act a certain way for so long that i've forgotten how to be myself around people.

Quite the opposite for me, I don't give too much.

"Maybe." "Sure." "Oh?" "Yeah." "I don't think so." "Huh?" "Perhaps." "No."

To change pace a bit, I add them together.

well since i learned not to share too much (well sort of i still do it but not as much ) i usually do either one or the other, too much, or barely anything. i'm kind of trying to observe and see what's normal. i've also become less social this year so it's getting more difficult.

yea, that's pretty much me, whenever i meet some one the first thing i want to do is tell them what i'm doing

small talk f*****g blows

I find it hard to say a great deal in some conversations, particularly social situations, because I'm very open and honest, I've learned that sometimes you need to think about who you are talking to and the implications of saying everything that's going through your head.
I do a little mental checklist; does this person want to hear what I'm about to say? Will I offend them? Will telling them this benefit me? etc.
Of course, this means that later on I'll think back on conversations and imagine myself saying all the things I wish I had the confidence to say.

Last edited by dtms on 25 Feb 2008, 12:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm always honest in conversation about everything, even the 'taboo' topics (my mental issues) Some people react kindly to it, some people can't take it.

Have you ever like, butt into someone else conversation and just talk? When you say something have you ever felt like nobody's listening to you?

You say hi and try to be nice, the kids look at each other and giggle and then walk away. Has that happened to you?

I always butt into other people's conversations and talk and I always feel as though no-one is listening to me. People talk over the top of me sometimes.

Yes..I have found myself doing this...I don't mean to, it just happens...most likely when my inhibitions are down.