I feel wronged by a psych tester who didn't see my AS

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Daniel: Bingo. People used to reject me when I was in my teen years, but I can halfway hack it now - as long as I've already been introduced to the person by someone else and the new person tries to keep it going with me OR I've met them online. Otherwise, I'm hopeless.

If someone cries, I really don't feel anything for them. I can only empathize if they're experiencing something I've experienced that majorly affected me in the past. And I don't really get a strong urge to hug and comfort when this happens. I've had to adapt to being a therapist intern; I've only had one major crying instance. I wasn't sure what to do at first and didn't know what to say. Then I remembered what other therapists do: hand them the kleenex box. I did that, hoping he wouldn't notice my lack of other responding. It felt very contrived when I did this. I don't think that the very fact that I did this disqualifies me on the "lack of emotional reciprocity" count, since it still wasn't natural for me. I can definitely relate to having more "empathy" for animals. My pets are so important to me, and it killed me to not be able to have any while living in college dorms for 4 years.

I really disagree with the stance of clinicians' discouraging self-diagnosis. It seems like they're clinging to an old-school style of holding onto all the power while taking it from the client. I like that the more modern schools of thought - like postmodernism's narrative therapy - put power back onto the client through defining his or her experience. And I strongly believe that sharing everything with the client is helpful in enabling him or her to improve and work on the problem (so long as the person is lucid and not psychotic or mentally ret*d). I always show my clients the treatment plan I've come up for them and ask if they want any changes or corrections.

I don't need a diagnosis. I feel that I am intelligent enough to learn about Asperger's or other disorders on my own and take what applies to me and work with it in my own way. I know what I am, and in case I ever forget, there is always some NT out there who considers it his or her God-given responsibility to let me know that I am NOT one of them. But I can certainly understand the need for clarification, and if I were starting out, say still in high school, yes, then I think I would want a diagnosis to take advantage of whatever I was eligible for. But until recently there really hasn't been that much help out there for adults, and I doubt that I could qualify, having "passed" for normal all these years.

And please don't get me started on the medical profession, particularly the psychology/neurology/psychiatry aspect . . . . very little respect there for those people. The less I have to do with them the better, and that's the way I like it. I have "Non-compliant" written on my patient chart and that's all right with me.

I like how it explains Asperger's research; no different to Kanner's.

One problem with the document is that it doesn't take into account the expanded information of the DSM-IV-TR, i.e., how Asperger's and autistic disorder manifest. Professionals seem to overlook this, even "experts".

Do explain, Daniel. You mean that experts take a more superficial view of their manifestations than they should?

Whilst the diagnostic criteria for AS and AD are similar except for lacking the communication criterion in AS, the DSM-IV-TR explicitly states that they each manifest differently under each point; it explains them in-depth in all of the expanded information on each disorder (kinda like how medical books list how illnesses manifest, rather than just a list of symptoms).

This is one small part from the DSM-IV-TR, but you get the point concerning the differences:

Asperger wrote:

Hey there

I just thought i'd write a big thankyou to both you Anathemaviolet and Danielismyname.

This post has been largely informative for me, as I feel a lot of similarity in my symptoms to Anathemaviolet's and the ensuing confusion in regards to searching for a diagnosis.

I too can make eye contact, however when it comes to musing thoughts, talking about my interests, or anything personal or that requires concentration, my eyes instantly go somewhere else or focus on a pattern or the floor somewhere.

A good point you brought up in regards to social interaction, is my relationships possibly originating due to the other's initial contact with me, and not me seeking a relationship with them. In almost every social situation I will intentionally avoid talking people I don't know, even people I do know, if I think they might not have noticed me, I will intentionally avoid them. Not because I don't like them, don't find them attractive etc etc, just because its just too much effort and i'd rather be on my own.

I'm currently trying for a 2IC role in my department, which is proving very difficult for me, because I have to approach staff with tasks, or speak to them about how they are doing, or pick up documents from them, which makes me slightly anxious and I tend to just put it off, or joke around the encounters to make them more comfortable. I want to get the role of 2IC to get more money and make my wife proud, but in reality I'd probably prefer to quit my job, go on the dole and play computer games and watch dvd's all day. But computer games, dvds, and other things I enjoy need money...DAMNIT! hehehe

Are those examples of social impairment, because before this post, I wouldn't think of it as severe in any light.

Thanks again guys, and Anathemaviolet, please keep me updated, its fantastic to meet or see someone who (I feel) is so alike in symptoms to myself, and who also wants clarification outside of a self-diagnosis.

You're very welcome, tbam. It's nice when multiple people can get something out of one person's experience/complaint/questioning.

Yes, I think the things you described are social impairment because the effort it takes you to be social like everyone else is very taxing, and so you avoid it by doing other things. I'm exactly the same way, especially when tired.

I'll definitely keep you updated.

Dr. Gale had an "extended conversation" with my father that was "very helpful." First thing that went through my mind was "uh oh!". My dad has always been the type of person to be in denial about anything that could be "wrong" with his daughter, so I hope that doesn't affect the doctor if this sort of message was relayed. Then again, I've been talking to my dad more about the positive aspects of Asperger traits, so he's more able to accept reality. (Like the fact that I learn new things VERY quickly if I'm interested in the subject and can precociously become an expert considering the amount of time spent.)

Dr. Gale's assistant said they received the assessment report from my previous tester (the one I didn't like). I warned the assistant that I felt the tester was off-base in her interpretations and that it would be better if he just looked at the raw test results, which is what I only wanted him to do in the first place. So she took note and made sure to look into it.

I have my next appointment with him on Thursday April 17, so you shall hear more around then. He put it in terms of "following up on the phone conversation" with my father. Hmm. Maybe he wants me to comment on and clarify things my dad said before proceeding, since he still wants to talk to my mom when both parents return from their long trip to China. I have no idea what to expect now, but I'm feeling a little more detached from the process than before.

I had mentioned Simon Baron-Cohen's tests to him briefly at our last session, and he hadn't heard of them. So I e-mailed him a link to them, for his information, adding that I would be prepared to hear that PDD-NOS may be more appropriate. I just wanted him to know that any information is valuable to me, and I don't intend to steer him in only one direction for identity purposes. I've been a bit on guard because of the last horrible experience with that other tester, and I find myself making sure he knows I don't have ongoing anxiety problems (in case that's a differential diagnosis he may make). I wonder if he'll bring up this behavior of mine later or if he already understands why I'm doing it.

Since you mentioned having a parent who tends to go into denial, I have to ask...

How did you work up the courage to "come out" about your AS theory? More importantly, how did you convince him to take part in the process of speaking to your psych?

Personally, I'd be kind of afraid to let my parents be involved in the process. From a recent talk with my mother I learned that in her eyes I was a happy and well-adjusted child. I floated a few of my more obsessive childhood traits by her, but she seemed to think they were perfectly normal. I didn't mention AS, but did say I had a theory.

I'm not sure if your situation with your father is similar to what I described. I'm just wondering how you managed to get a denying parent into the process without major drama.

Why are people getting upset when they aren't diagnosed with something they most likely don't have?? This is why being self diagnosed and in your case for three years can lead to dissappointment. This isn't Cinderella where if the shoe doesn't fit you keep trying to put your oversized foot in a tiny slipper hoping it will.

Aspergers isn't just about social issues. If people think that then ALOT of people have aspergers especially since the internet has become the norm.

I appreciate your feedback, but I think you misunderstand. I'm fine with not getting the Asperger diagnosis, but it's being totally misunderstood about my emotional functioning that I dislike. It doesn't serve my purposes for future career concerns where they are valid. Like I said, PDD NOS is fine by me, nebulous as that is.