Prejudged by your facial expression

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Anyone find that people can initially be fairly hostile towards you, on first meeting - based only on your appearance/physical demeanour ?

I say this because this happens to me quite frequently - but then they get talking to me and their attitude turns round 180 degrees.

People who were first of all quite hostile and antipathetic realise they've incorrectly prejudged me and visibly thaw out within the space of 15 minutes.

It's a weird and disconcerting thing to watch, because it says to me that I'm projecting the wrong demeanour.

Maybe I frighten people or something ?

Either way, it would be great to know what THEY perceive.
A mirror's no good because you need to catch yourself in repose, which unless you happen to unwittingly just isn't happening.

show us a photo then

it doesn't happen to me that often, but when it happens i tend to have a low opinion about that person. it doesn't seem correct to prejudge. and usually i have no opinion about people.

That's the story of my life, my friend.

Back when my venue was open and I had to be around lots of people all the time, i would frequently get people saying "You look tired"...or "What's wrong?"...etc....

annoying...I would often asnwer....."bUt I am not tired"......or..."I am upset because people keep asking me what's wrong"...or soemthign like that...

I get the "What's wrong?" question constantly. I think I look serious or troubled most of the time.

I get compliments coming back to me via third parties. "She's so charming!" ... or nice or fun or whatever. It makes me wonder what they expected.

Yes and even when they've known me for awhile. My normal face sometimes apears like a frown, but I just relax all my muscles in my face and thats how it looks.

I do get the 'are you upset' or 'are you tired' thing. But mostly people tend to just misunderstand whatever it is I say, and that's really frustrating. I feel like I'm not speaking effectively, and I've felt like this all my life -- but I've also felt like I could get over it. I would read a lot, trying to figure it out, took psych classes in college, but I give up on the communication front. I do okay writing -- I do not write like I speak, in fact, I speak completely ineffectively, but my writing works. My presentation physically like how I dress or do my makeup is okay, but as soon as I try to talk, forget it. I lose people. I think it has something to do also with how I carry myself, but I can't seem to get around it. I have tried. I usedto think once I was out of school and working it would be better but it is more of the same. IN fact I think it got worse. I've been so miserable at every job, at every school, in grad school, and in kindergarten! What is the answer? For me, it is staying by myself, reading, studying, and ignoring things at work as much as possible. If that's not an answer, oh well.

I'm always asked "What's wrong?" and am told that I look tired. On the other hand, I'm often tired. But still, I often find it strange when people you barely know ask personal questions. I also hate back patting. I'm not sensitive to touch, but when people do that to me at work or school, I just can't help but wonder how I look, and in some sense, why they bother. How can they ignore me, and then suddenly "care" about me?

I experience most of these things too. I'm sort of stone faced in my expression. Wow, I feel like I'm in the company of my own. It's nice, for a moment, to not feel alone. I do stay to myself a lot because people don't seem to know how to take me and because that makes me feel sad, misunderstood and left out.

yeah my parents are always like "cheer up, anyone would think someones died with a face like that"

and it's like well im not going to smile 24/7 i'd look stupid

People often acused me of smiling in times where a person should not be smiling. Like once in the fourth grade I was supposed to help my best friend at the time with a project. I had trouble explaining things to people so her project came out wrong. When my best friend handed it in the teacher said it was done the wrong way and yelled at me like I had just commited a murder. I had no control of my facial expression at the time and I guess my mouth was in an upward position and the teacher screamed at me that I had no right to be smiling or something like that.

PunkyKat, I have done many things that are off-beat that way too. And then you have to take the heat for it too!

jess162k7, that is the most adorable cat face expression I have ever seen!

its sort of like wen you laugh at someone wen their angry(not at you but with something thats really annoyin them and gettin to them) and you can't help laughing, i dont know why, ive done that before

MemberSix, you're not alone. Thanks for the thread.