Why can't we Aspies keep freinds?

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From reading this it seems that there are differenct reasons people have trouble with friendships. Myself I have some friends I have had for a long time (the longest since we were both 4 feels I suppose more like family) but have had trouble making/keeping friends since moving to a new country 10 years ago. I guess it is the "social impairment" I don't really get small talk - hbut having said that I do if if I'm relaxed, it is just if I get anxious for any reason I clam up. I also think that a weak sense of self, which I suspect many aspies (definately including me) have makes it difficult for others to know who they are befriending. Also we can be brutally frank and direct not always appreciated.

I don't know about anyone else, but I find it easy to make aquaintences, but I tend to keep a lot of people, including family members, at arm's length. Being somethign of a misanthrope, I an incredibly selective about who I consider close friends.
I find the best way to get people to like you in real life is to be interested in people. And yes, Misanthropes can be interested in people, but just find most of them to be compemtable.
Another thing if found out a long time ago, is that people like to talk, which means they like other people who listen.
I find the best way to get into a conversation with someone is ask them how they are, and show an interest in what they have to say.
the art of smalltalk is a complex but valuable tool in avoiding isolation and getting some decent human contact. Linking one topic to another can be very hard for aspies, from my experience, but it can be done.

I hope this helps you guys

I think if you can find a non-threatening, silghtly quirky activity that draws a lot of interesting, diverse people, you have the potential to make quite a few friends.

knowledgeiskey, I think there are a varied amount of rational reasons to explain this but, I'm not going to go into debate simply state that all people within the spectrum(including myself) have our own set of unique hurdles to overcome in the way friendships therefore, it's not meant to be assumed all people with Aspergers are totally friendless or can't have friends..Honestly, I've tried a whole bunch of times to make friends sometimes at the cost of my emotional contentment yet, there is the notion friendsip requires a great amount of patience and understanding if not forgetting compassion whereby, the lack of any of those as well many other factor's can contribute to the unpleasantness of friendship failure.. Well, these days I feel if someone wishes to become my friend it's more of a choice for that person wherein; I no longer make any rules or such just try to be respectful and kindhearted at best..


ProfessorX

It might be a relationship maintenance issue.

It was kind of embarrassing a friend having to walk me through this once.

Not knowing what to do to maintain a relationship and not knowing how you may have inadvertently offended the other person.


There might also be two people having very different perspectives (one object orientated and one person orientated for example), hence the possibility of conflicting ideals.

A clash of different styles of communication (verbal and non verbals) might also lead to conflict and misunderstandings.

PRESSURE: Sometimes people want to control you, telling you what to do
with your friend{s}, where to go, etc, etc, etc. An example is my friend
Colin {not his real name} who has regular autism. The last time
I saw him was last summer. Instead of going to see a movie like
I promised him, I was forced to go to the bookstore.


Personally, I don't want friends. I want a girlfriend.