Do you hate getting into peoples way in a store?
Yes!! !
I can't bare to go to crowded/busy places because of their 'void confluence' (what I call it) NT's have told me time and again that it is apparently possible to determine what people in a crowd are doing, where they are going by body language....
THEY DO????
I can't read anything from them, no hint or sign of their intentions, if I get cornered in a shop (which happens an awful lot more than I wish) I get jumpy, hands start to wave and can't think to reply to my poor partner who is aware of my predicament and is patiently trying to help me back out.....I always have my MP3 player on in shops as I find blocking out the sounds helps a little, but every time I go the wrong way, get cornered, trapped, or have someone suddenly appear in the path I was trying to take, I get very agitated/upset....there is no pattern, no sense, on logic to their movements and to me it seems absolutely insane they way in which people order themselves to move about.
I've often wished they would draw lanes or stop-sign on the ends of the isles so people move around shops in the same way we drive, rather than the randomness.....
I hate people getting in my way at the store. I just went to Costco lastnight and, atleast 3 people left thier carts in the middle of the aisle then walked away as I was behind them. The 3rd guy that did it I crashed my cart into his and pushed it to the side of the aisle. I have a tendancy to act out when I get annoyed.
I used to have problems with people getting in my way and me getting in their way in public places. 3 thoughts helped me, and here they are.
1. The General Flow. Many people are drivers and unconsciously walk on the same side of a public path as they would drive down it if it were a road. This sets a precedence which is generally followed by other walkers. In the UK people generally walk on the left. In Canada they generally walk on the right. It is best to be aware of the flow and "go with the flow" in order to best organise easy passage for yourself. Also, be aware that you will need to adapt to the different flow if, for instance, you are an American (drive on the right) on holiday in Japan (drive on the left).
2. Large Static Objects. Most people do not mind a bit of light bumping on public paths. It bothers me though, and it may bother you too. If you navigate towards large static objects as you walk you will find that most people will get out of your way because they see that you cannot make any further room for them. So, in a crowd I look for an immovable object - such as a wall, a lamp post, or a bin, or a parked car and walk close to it. Once I have an immovable object to - for example - my immediate left, oncoming walkers see that I cannot move any further to the left to accommodate them. This means they must move out of my way, to my right. And they do. Once they have passed I look for the next large static object to walk close to. This probably sounds weird but with a little practice works really smoothly and becomes second nature. The other walkers are unaware of my tactics. This method helps everyone to navigate through public areas more efficiently so while helping myself I am also performing a small public service.
3 Thoughtlessness. Occasionally a walker will walk directly at you out of thoughtlessness or perhaps in an attempt at mild intimidation. If you are walking close to a large static object (see part 2) just stop walking for a moment and let them work it out. They will have to walk around you as there's no room for you to move into. And they will. They always do. I have noticed that walking with a walking stick helps the other pedestrians to organize themselves a little better too, though I don't use a walking stick.
Hope this helps someone.
Very paranoid about getting in people's way at any time but in a supermarket is an especially good example. I was the kind of child who was constantly in "la-la" land and was capable of walking right in front of someone without even noticing it. So my mom was constantly scolding me and pulling me out of the way. I think this is where my paranoia of being in the way comes from.
Yes this happens to atleast 3 out of the 4 people in our family, including myself.
On my own, my reaction to this varies depending on my mood at the time and how long I have been out for. If I am in a good mood and have only been out a short time, which means I have plenty of energy and am pain free. I am super aware of other peoples movements and hop about like a like a prey animal on stimulants to predict and stay out of other peoples way. To be honest I do it for my own benefit as much as anyone elses because I cannot handle being touched by other people, even a light brush past is an assult to my nervous system. I also hate people coming up behind me, especially very close behind. This whole routine is extremely tiring so I cannot do it for long.
The other reaction I have is when I am in a not so good mood, in pain, worn out, fed up with being out and need to go a long way in a relatively short amount of time. I mirror what I am feeling inwardly so that a scowl appears on my face then I stare straight ahead and walk/half run very quickly in a straight line. I am told I am intimidating when I do this so I work with what God gave me and work it for all I've got. LOL
Fortunately we live in a small country town so most of the time all of this is not such an issue if we are around our home. However I am frequently in a city a couple of hours away with my kids going for different appointments. We are usually in a hurry to get what ever we need to do done then get the hell out of Dodge. Of course there are so many things that you can't get where we live so we are always just popping in here or there for any amount of different things before we go home. We do foward plan for holiday times and times when it is going to be busy. However you can't always plan your way out of all problems.
People very rarely make comments or give me dirty looks, because they are intimidated enough by me physically, let alone when I am scowling and charging foward . The only problem's that arise are when my oldest son is with me. As a younger child he was more hyped up and seemd totally clueless as to what was going on around him. He would run smack bang into people and just keep going. Now he is far more aware and able to handle crowds, but like me, if tired it is not so good. When this happens I usually get him to push a trolley, sometimes his younger brother sits in the trolley, and I hold onto the side of it, nearer to the front and steer it. I find this a bigger moving object and most people will move out of your way before you get anywhere near them. Another thing I do is if my older son and I are together I walk behind him and put both of my hands on each of his shoulders. I more or less steer him through and again we are 2 people together so people do tend to make way.
This problem is sensory in nature and is to do with faulty proprioception (where you are in space and time) and I'm sorry folks who think this is a problem with other people....................if you have any sensory itergration issues at all, it is not likely. Never the less it is also not something people with sensory integration issues have any control over either. There for I have been known to verbaly abuse people that are impatient with my kids. They don't have to say anything to my kids to cop this. It's more to do with their physical reaction and look on their face because this can make more of an impact than a couple of words might. My aim here is not to be obnoxious, but if I was I would only be returning kind for kind, but to make them think twice before they do it again.
Cheers
Yes, I've often wished that myself. I've definately gotten sensory overload in a busy Costco before haha. Every step is hampered by giant carts and sample tables.
It also really irritates me how people don't give a damn about anyone except themselves. They will block aisles with thier cart and don't care about holding up traffic. Or if I'm trying to turn from a side aisle or something, everyone will push hastily past any time there is a bit of an opening, like letting me in would inconvienece them in any way. Or coming towards another cart head on and they won't swerve in the least bit so there's not even enough room for me to get by without scraping carts cuz they're not far enough to the side!
Also along those same lines, if I ever do run into a courteous person, it seems to make things even worse because I will of course try to get over to the side to let them past and they start to compensate as well, for some reason people seem to do this AFTER I've made it clear which side I am choosing, and we get in eachother's way AGAIN!
Once, at work, I got over to the side of the hallway to let someone past and there was a good 4 feet of width to the left of me and the dude actually chose to dive sideways between me and the wall on the right.
I don't understand...
this happens to me! i am quite clumsy. i often stop very suddenly and just let them do the moving, or i feel i probably get too close to people for comfort...like, my body doesnt respond to the signal of move as fast as other people's, it seems. one time i tripped on a child and accidentally stepped on it going down the stairs! and i hadnt seen it.
i do the sidestep dance a lot, too ![]()
acclue
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: 29 Sep 2009
Age: 35
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Location: Mansfield University, Pennsylvania
I get this constantly when I'm in crowds, and whenever I feel like I'm getting in someone's way and have to move, I end up apologizing and hoping I didn't screw something up about the encounter.
I usually try to avoid walking in crowds altogether for that reason. I'll take pains to take the least conventional route possible across my campus, like walking on the curb or through grassy areas.
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Fiz
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