Married Aspies?

Post Reply New Topic

I have read that Aspies don't tend to marry or be in long term relationships.

How about you?

NT's can vote YES if their partner or spouse is an Aspie.

I have been with my husband for two years

I've been married for 17 years.

Never been in an intimate relationship, but lots of "oh yuck!" experiences, though!

Not sure if I'll ever get to the point where being with other people and meeting their expectations doesn't feel exhausting and invasive.

I think that the reason that I have an inclination for ending up in long term relationships is because I started really young...15-16...My first relationship lasted for 6 years...It was sorta like we were "stuck" together...because we were in a band, I was extremely emotionally immature for my age, and there were statuatory issues....
After I broke up with him and moved out on my own, in my early 20's...I wound up in a string of relationships...mostly based upon being known in my local music scene...and from my not knowing any better...
I was sorta "programmed" to be a female companion..to a certain extent...I have seldom been very long between relationships..The people I have been in relationships with have been my main source of friendship. I really don't know any other way... I guess I will when I get older and my looks completely go down the tubes....I am not even very particularly attractive to begin with...short and overweight...
My current main relationship has gone on since 2003..but we did break up for 6 months...during which time, I was in another relationship...(long story)
We have been poly for a year and a half...so technically, I am in two relationships.

But I will probably never get married or have children...

blindspot149 well been in few relationships with NT's one marriage that lasted 12 years and my new partner have been married for a year, so can't say. My Grandad was married for over 60 years and I strongly suspect he was Aspie. Not sure we are any worse than NT's at forming stable relationships. All I can say is my current wife has a condition that mimics Aspergers but isn't CAPD. I drive her nuts with behaviour and she drives me nuts with hers.

I have been in two long term relationships and I have been married for 4 years now.

I have never been in a long term relationship and I am 52. However my work history is always long term because I get comfortable and I don't like change. I imagine if I found the right person it would be long term like that. Not that this is likely to happen. Again, the right person is key. I'm with sgrannel for the most part. I've actually had two people ask to marry me but I didn't consider them well thought out proposals. Dear friends feeling sentimental is all.

poopylungstuffing wrote:

That makes me think. I don't think I ever was or it never occurred to me to observe. I am of the generation immediately before the Women's Lib Movement. It was considered a positive that a girl would get an education but really only so she would be an interesting partner for the husband she would no doubt marry. That was the cultural expectation but I was too busy contemplating my navel to pay attention. So I basically have skills in neither area. Plus, even before women's lib, the idea of someone controlling me is very scary and distasteful to me. I know things are different now but the fear goes down deep. Thanks Dad.

In my first relationship, I was heavily controlled...It did quite the number on my self esteem...The guy was older than me, staunchly neurotypical..Really did not have my best interest at heart...I didn't know how to defend myself..my self esteem was broken down to where I felt I didn't deserve to defend myself...it was ugly..

Things got better when I got older...but it did mess me up some..

Married 23 years.. both us Aspies. I don't think an NT could have handled either one of us. It was we loved each other .. I'm a bit weird & clueless.. so are you.. lets get married. We have had our trials and joys, she is my best friend.

my first marriage lasted 17 years, unfortunately. he was a nightmare and we were in a cult that encouraged him to control me, so it took a long time to get out.

my current husband is on the spectrum and is my best friend. we've known each other for 6 years, married 2. since our sensory issues are so similar it's been pretty easy to learn to accommodate each other.

I have been married for two years, and we've been together for 7.

Last edited by Sati on 18 Oct 2009, 1:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

Nope. Not in a LTR or married either one.

Not counting long distance, I have been in 2 long-term relationships (and some short-term ones). I would stumble into them, not being discriminatory, and they would end up in the role of carer. I'm in my early thirties.

I am married and happy. And as we get closer every day I don't see us ending seperated. Been togetehr for 7 years, married for 2.

And the only other aspie I know is married 30 years now and happy.