Things I would rather do than go inside Wal-Mart

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The lights, the crowds, the echoes, the smell of BO, the crying babies, the unknowledgeable staff, the sea of faces... Wal-Mart

Help me make a list of things would rather do than go inside Wal-Mart. I'll start.

Get my teeth drilled
Rub grandma's bunions
Stab a fork under my fingernail
Drink month-old milk
Wax uncle bob's back
Watch The View

How crowded is your area?

Personally here I go to a small town's and it is very spacey.

Yeah, I always went to Walmart at 3 AM to buy paint. Where else can you get another tube of yellow in the middle of the night? Nowhere, I tell you.

But apparently, I've been told, the craft section is gone, so I'd not go back.

I know what you mean, though; I had to go a few times during day hours and it was abhorrent.

I'd rather swallow a doorknob whole.

I also live in a small rural town but it is the only Wal-mart for 120 miles so, even at odd hours, people are constantly swerving around me or getting in my way.

But even if the store is somehow uncrowded, there are still echoes, even more echoes in fact. It is worse now that they have removed all the carpeting. It is a constant assault of random people noise from every direction.

I have to go quite often because my mom is physically disabled. I really wish I didnt have to go but the groceries are cheaper, and Walmart is actually less crowded than any of the grocery stores. They are smaller and more cramped, and louder.

There was this one time that I took my daughter in to get a few things, and someone had left one of those motorized scooter chairs beeping loudly in the middle of the produce section. It was extremely loud and piercing. I was in line with my stuff, and the clerk was taking forever with the person in front of me. I mean, she was scanning as slowly as she could and calling the manager for stupid crap (I have worked there so I knew it was stupid, believe me). So I left the cart and went home. The beeping cart was something that the manager could have dealt with, but it had been going since we walked in. I actually went and tried to turn it off, but it needed to be pushed to an outlet to recharge. Nope- they just leave it there to give everyone a migraine. Dang I went on didn't I?

I have gone in Wal-Mart pretty often... AHHH!

A few thing I'd rather do:

hug my friends
sleep in dirt
clean
eat leaves
scratch my skin off

Oh know I see that does sound terrible heck I'd rather have a tooth pulled then be stuck in a super echoey place with people.

I hate loud noises almost as much as fire

Use a Habanero as a suppository
Lick the inside of my car's muffler
Roundhouse kick a wasp nest

The sea of dilapidated noisy shopping carts....Gah!! ! I can't have the crappy shopping cart LOL!

I hate that place! But that's the closest, reasonably priced place to shop.

I would rather talk to a telemarketer....and I HATE phones.
Trim nose hairs with my teeth? That's a pretty good one....but not very realistic.

I could never figure out why people have to sit in the middle of the isle and block everyone from getting past. Why can't they move their cart to one side or the other?

I dont get it either! THey know someone will be along! I bet they are the ones who drive rediculously large SUVs and take 2 parking spaces too.

and OT and unrelated- shouldn't your avatar have the caption "Come to the daaaaarkside- We haz cheeseburgerz! "?

The people who take up whole isle's are the people who had the first Hummer for civilians (I think it was the H1).

I had no idea my avatar was on Icanhascheezburger. Haha! I have an App. on Google called "Funny Cat Photos" and I found it there. I love Sphynx cats. The pose is priceless. He reminds me of Mr. Burns for some reason.

a minority opinion here, so eschew the urge to shoot me, por favor.
i live in a tiny town in the sticks, and walmart is not only the only game in town but also the only game in the whole damned county! so i go there for my sundries. thankfully the store is a very big box, and there is lots of room inside with wide aisles so folk don't have to squeeze past one another, and it is never too crowded as i live in a very low population-density county. plus being open all hours dilutes the crowds which otherwise might develop inside.

i realize that they treat their employees as disposable cogs, and i hate this but i also realize that the powers that be have the working class in a chokehold, and i could find myself begging for work at wallyworld one day myself.
wallyworld is like kmart with the rough edges smooothed-over a bit. it has everything i need for my sustenance as a hermit. the only thing i would add that my local walmart lacks is the nurse practitioner "doc in a box" in the store. the bigger walmarts have this but not the more rural ones.

I stopped going to Walmart after moving back to Kansas City. My local one is a nightmare - it's always packed, the parking lot is tiny (it's a Supercenter that was converted from a standard mid-90s store), the lighting in that place is way too bright... I could go on and on. Sundays are the worst, as it's one exit down from the nearest mega-church - it seems like all of their 1000+ congregation heads to Walmart after services.

The two other Walmarts in this part of town aren't any better. One of them's getting the Supercenter upgrade right now (and how they are going to pull it off is beyond me because the lot is even smaller than my closest one, and the other one is in an area that has seen major growth since it opened in 2001.

Thankfully, I also happen to live by a Super Target. I LOVE Target. It's never nearly as busy as Walmart, even at peak times, it's roomier, it's not blindingly bright inside, and they have some killer deals (love the fact that many of their printable coupons stack with coupons from the Sunday paper!).

I wouldn't do any of these drastic things as they sound even worse than the shopping! I would just put up with the shopping ecause there's a reward at the end, licking a car muffler has no reward...

Still, given the choice, I will always ask somebody else to take my money and buy it for me when they go. Although it's not Wal Mart for me, since it's not in Australia (yet, it's only a matter of time).

Self surgery. It can be fun!

Perhaps not, but the horrible taste and feeling of disgust would be gone within minutes, whereas the suffering of of Wal-Mart could be an hour-long barrage.