So, who DO you like touching you?

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I like being touched. One of the problems, though, is that the initial contact can be awkward and overwhelming, and it's been a very, very, very long time since anybody's held me beyond the initial awkwardness. Another problem is that I can't initiate contact. It takes a focused effort on my part just to tap someone on the shoulder. Unless I'm responding to someone who's injured, then my training pretty much takes over.

At this point, I think the only person I'd actually like to touch me is my friend, but when she does it never goes past that initial awkward period. Not to mention the fact that we don't see each other very often, maybe once every 2 or 3 years. I guess I'd be OK with my mom hugging me, too, but even that's awkward and uncomfortable for me.

I really don't like being touched by anyone except my girlfriend. There are times when I just don't want to be touched like when I'm tired but most any other time I love being touched by her. Anyone else I can't stand touching me. I can tolerate a hug or a handshake but I don't like it

I wish I could say it's my husband. To be sure, he has a ticket no one else has, but if I'm tense, I don't want anyone near me. At my calmest, I still prefer not to be touched much, especially without warning. But when I am up to being touched at all, that touch is limited to my husband and 3 kids. My rapidly developing 12-year-old daughter is the toughest. The women in my church are big huggers, and I just cannot do that. I don't even like to hug my own mother. Mind you, it might have helped if she had ever hugged me as a child. Sounds cliched, but it's true... my family did not hug, kiss, or even touch except in the rough and tumble way my siblings and I did... (DOGPILE ON TIM!! ! WHAM!) So perhaps because of that I really don't have any connections with physical touch outside of either completely innocent touch as with the very young or touch with a romantic or sexual purpose. So as my tween daughter grows, I have to force myself to give her the maternal hugs she craves. My comfort is in knowing it isn't me rejecting her personally. I doubt she finds that much comfort, however. Anyway, her hugs are reminding me more and more of the women at church. Poor little girl... I have to admit, since she has always been long and bony and exuberant, that we tend to cringe (both parents) when she comes for a hug. She took to running and leaping on us at a young age, so there you are. But we explained that and she holds back now for our sakes. I'm just glad she didn't give up. If she needs them, she should have them. I'll deal with it.

The most free physical contact for me is that which has no guilt or awkwardness attached. Animals are safe... innocent creatures that rub on your ankle or lick your hand. Kinda gross but not as bad as grown humans. Babies and toddlers, even young children have a pass. I breast-fed three babies, so you can imagine that they did not bother me like others do. My 3-year-old can climb onto my lap most anytime and hug me... her toddler softness seems to soothe rather than irritate my nerves. My fairly primitive 8-year-old is okay, but when he gets gross, or kisses my arm, it's all I can do to keep from smacking him. He doesn't hug often and has all the cuddliness of a kevlar jacket and feels almost as dense and heavy, but he has so much trouble day to day that I can't deny him hugs either. If ever a kid needed a hug, this kid does.

But I feel overwhelmed just thinking this much about contact. I have to stop. Now I'm gonna have nightmares.

Just had to add, quickly, that I have given this and other matters some thought and have recognized over time that I have trouble with feelings of intimacy and closeness. I don't feel actual sexual attraction to inappropriate targets, but feel uncomfortable when I feel a mental or physical connection in excess of what I consider suitable. I think others may feel a warmth for a friend which is more in the realm of what I reserve for my husband and children. I am not cold by any means, but am more concerned at not being able to recognize the amount of affection that is appropriate in a particular circumstance. So I keep wide borders between objects of familial intimacy, romantic intimacy, and friends and acquaintances, because my brain does not seem to properly categorize these otherwise. Thus I seldom get very attached to friends.

Last edited by irishwhistle on 06 Apr 2010, 1:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

No-one.
Others in my family who are on the spectrum vary from loving physical contact to not liking it much. I loathe being touched unexpectedly. I never liked much contact as a child, but this was never a problem anyway, as my mother states she is most likely on the spectrum and is not very "cuddly" (and she also had 8 children, so she was largely preoccupied with the perfunctory duties of endless motherhood and child-rearing.)

However, I do not mind deep pressure massage and being squeezed. My little seven year old son lies on me when we are watching tv. I like the deep pressure that accompanies that.
I also do light weights with dumb-bells and this helps too.

Weight and pressure alleviate an enormous amount of sensory and free-floating anxious energy that ripples through me. Most of the time I feel like my body reverberates with waves of electrical energy that flit out here and there. I am light current. When it gets really bad my brain fills with the white and angular shards of meltdown.

I am totally fine with my girlfriend touching me most of the times, although there are times when I can't even handle that.
I'm also okay with my friends of 10 plus years giving me hugs when I see them. Other than that, I really don't handle being touched well. My parents used to complain that when I was a kid I never liked to hug them and whilst I tolerate it now, it's not my favourite thing.

I have a co-worker who loves patting me on the arm or touching me on my shoulder and it drives me insane. I can usually brace myself for it if I know it is coming (or get out of the way). But I have almost accidentally hit her when she caught me off guard.
Unfortunately, it is very difficult to tell people you don't like to be touched without offending them, so I've not worked out a way to tell her not to touch me.

VERY much like me, except my parents were the opposite. My mom is always complaining that I never "let her hug me". When I visit her she gives me like a hug an hour, no joke. By the time we leave I'm practically non-verbal o.0 I love her really, it's just the feelings I get (others have described the tingling and other overwhelming feelings that they describe as pleasant) are too overwhelming to me unless I am calm and not in any way overstimulated already.

I used to work with children and also animals (I also have a few animals here at home). Kids love to hug and animals love contact as well and both of those bother me less- especially animals.

my boyfriend and my room mate who is also my best friend

It's not the who, it's the how. I like firm/hard hugs. Soft touches make me crazy.

i always jump when people touch me. i enjoy a big proper bear hug once in a while - but only when i ask for it.

The 2 best friends that I fancy (the rest of 'em get can lost lol). Also my siblings if I'm in the mood but sometimes I don't feel like having them clambering over me all the time and my brother clings to everyone.
Also I don't mind if anyone puts their hand on my shoulder for a short time and stuff like that, it's just the prolonged affectionate stuff I don't do.

My son is the only person who can touch me without my feeling invaded, but even a light feathery touch from him, especially around my face is intolerable. I was fine with his father when we were together, but now I don't think so. There's implicit permission involved.

If you're a nice female I will cuddle up to you on the couch if you want.

Or we can just get butt-naked and make passionate love.

Touch I expect is usually tolerable, but is still uncomfortable. I can do the greeting hug, but prefer not to - it's like taking medicine. I think I actually hold my breath slightly when I do it. Some people are ok to hug, but there are very few. Touch is ok in intimate situations and martial arts. Otherwise, I usually start when I'm touched lightly, casually or accidentally.

As a kid I screamed "don't touch me!" so many times that to this day my family pulls away really fast if they accidentally come into contact with me.

Or both at once?

When I was young I prevented my mum from hugging me. That must have been upsetting for her. I also got a reputation for being a wimp at school because the slightest thing would make me recoil like a snake being prodded with a firebrand.

Nowadays I rather enjoy touch. I don't get enough touch. Anyone want to touch me? Penny a go.

I'm ok with light infrequent touch from people I trust. If I don't trust them, touch really bothers me, and often comes across as downright creepy. Usually I'm not in very many situations that warrant being touched by strangers. That helps a lot.

I have found that when I'm in a relationship, I thrive on touch. Even when I'm upset and overwhelmed, cuddling helps calm me down, and very quickly at that. I don't know what it is exactly, but cuddling with someone I like feels REALLY good. It's almost addictive, given how much pleasure it brings.

Can I give you a little stroke on the knee?