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MONKEY
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05 Jul 2010, 2:50 pm

League_Girl wrote:
I wanted to have a baby so bad in high school and envied the other teen moms in my school ....


That's the position I'm in now actually. I can't explain how envious I get watching young mums on childbirth programmes.


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IdahoRose
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05 Jul 2010, 3:59 pm

I can't understand why anyone would want to have babies. As Brija said, they basically suck the life right out of you, and nothing is your own. I know this because I have nieces and nephews who drive everyone crazy. They're not bad kids - they're average kids, but even average kids are highly demanding and annoying.



mechanicalgirl39
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05 Jul 2010, 5:17 pm

IdahoRose wrote:
I can't understand why anyone would want to have babies. As Brija said, they basically suck the life right out of you, and nothing is your own. I know this because I have nieces and nephews who drive everyone crazy. They're not bad kids - they're average kids, but even average kids are highly demanding and annoying.


Seconded.

And I like my body the way it is.


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Laz
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05 Jul 2010, 5:20 pm

Quote:
i want a baby so bad


Said Michael Jackson......



n4mwd
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05 Jul 2010, 7:24 pm

D) Get rich and buy one.



MONKEY
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05 Jul 2010, 7:34 pm

n4mwd wrote:
D) Get rich and buy one.


That's Madonna's approach anyway...


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05 Jul 2010, 7:35 pm

Answer to IdahoRose' question
...
Hormones, that's the only thing I can think of



shanny
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05 Jul 2010, 10:07 pm

i think that bringing a little life in to the world is an amazing thing and u have to be 100% about having a little one i know all about babys and how to bring them up age shouldnt matter the love i will have for that child will be stronger! thank u x shanny x



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05 Jul 2010, 10:25 pm

Raising children is about much more than loving them.

Clearly you'd rather listen to your hormones than to reason.



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05 Jul 2010, 10:29 pm

Love is most important, sure; but think of the practical considerations. It's a lot easier to raise a child when you have enough money to pay for things the child will benefit from--everything from basic medical care to pre-school, summer camp, and piano lessons. Most people under the age of twenty don't have enough money to raise a child; on minimum wage, it can be a choice between giving the child up for adoption and going on welfare and staying home, because the child care you'd need to stay at work would cost so much that you couldn't afford basic necessities. You wouldn't want a child to grow up on welfare--it's hardly any money, and there are no extras.

You want a baby. All right. But work out the budget and see if you can take good care of one. Yes, it's possible to raise a child while dirt-poor, without a college degree, and too young to be taken seriously by employers. But it's not easy, and it's not the best situation. By preparing a good environment for the child, you can make their life easier. You needn't be rich; needn't even be middle-class. You just have to have a budget that you know a child will fit into. Plus, I'm assuming here that you're single--you've never mentioned a partner--and this will give you time to either find a romantic partner, or find a platonic relationship with someone else who also wants to raise a child. Having another person helping means having built-in backup. Two trustworthy adults are better for a growing child than just one.


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SoSayWeAll
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05 Jul 2010, 10:33 pm

shanny wrote:
hi i am a young girl but i really want a little baby :oops: i dont know what to do is there anyone out there that wants this 2 :oops:


Babysitting is a good idea, as is volunteering and mentoring. If you are underage then having a baby of your own would be a VERY bad idea. But, there are ways you CAN make a difference in a child's life now, and also through that gain a better idea of what you will want and what you think you will be ready for as an adult. :)

I am 26 and I don't think I'm ready for a child yet! For starters I don't have a husband, which is essential--but I also don't think I'm in the right place personally to have a husband or a child. If the time comes for me, I want to be able to give them the best, and where I am right now, I don't think I can.

Anyway, once you are of age (and honestly I would recommend waiting until you are completely finished with your education), you'll be in a better position to make a decision. But if you'd like to start learning about children, and finding a way to be involved in their lives to make a positive difference, there are so many ways you can get involved before having one of your own. :)


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jdcnosse
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05 Jul 2010, 10:43 pm

IdahoRose wrote:
I can't understand why anyone would want to have babies. As Brija said, they basically suck the life right out of you, and nothing is your own. I know this because I have nieces and nephews who drive everyone crazy. They're not bad kids - they're average kids, but even average kids are highly demanding and annoying.


I want a child (as long as there isn't a very high chance that it'll be born on the spectrum), but if I could skip straight to like age 4-5 that'd be great thanks :)



Pistonhead
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05 Jul 2010, 10:43 pm

Being a rich aunt beats being a poor mother, let you siblings do all the work for you and reap the benefits. Everyone wins.


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LancetChick
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05 Jul 2010, 10:58 pm

Well, the reason for waiting until you're more mature is that it takes a LOT more than love to have a successful marriage, and especially, to bring up a child. The financial issue is real, especially if you are planning on doing this without the support of a man (don't assume child support checks will be consistent). You will need a good job with good health insurance (if you're American), and that's hard to come by without a college degree or vocational training. And you'll need good support from your family if you're single. These things can all happen, but not as a teenager. If you are still in your teens, waiting can only benefit the baby , and I'm sorry to rain on the parade, but I would have to question the urgency here, since I see it as more of a "you" thing than a "baby-first-me-second" thing, and I see it as an unwillingness to plan for the future as well.

Please give yourself a chance to grow up and have a life first. One thing I've learned (I'm 50, by the way) is that everyone is different, and should not be assumed to accommodate statistical evidence right off the bat. But something else I've learned is that when a lot of people are telling you the same thing, it means something, and isn't a chance individual repeating words in a brochure. I don't have my own kids, but I had my ex-husband's two nephews for their entire high school careers, and his sister's newborn for the first few years of his life, and I can tell you that being able to give the child back to its mother at the end of the day is a lot different from a round-the-clock responsibility, which is HUGE.

No one is suggesting you shouldn't have a child! But seriously, how much of an imposition is it to wait until you are in a better position to care for it?



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06 Jul 2010, 5:32 am

shanny wrote:
i dont know what to do.


What do you mean you don't know what to do?


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mechanicalgirl39
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06 Jul 2010, 6:11 am

dupertuis wrote:
shanny wrote:
i dont know what to do.


What do you mean you don't know what to do?


I think she's trying to say that the urge to have a baby is so overwhelming she doesn't know what to do about it.

Is there some kind of drug you can take to kill or at least lower urges like those? So she can get on with her life without being driven mad by the urge to get pregnant? Would estrogen blockers do it??


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