Some questions from a scared not yet diagnosed girl

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NekoHime
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06 Oct 2010, 4:18 am

As the title say, I have some questions. I hope I don't sound to stupid and yes I have been reading books about asperger's syndrome and PDD-NOS, but they haven't answerd my questions. To start with I will tell that my problems are morw of ADHD type since that it's a 96% chance that I have that but I'm not sure on the asperger thing but I shall get tested for that too 'cause they think I may have it. I don't mean any harm with the questions.
For making it easy for me I'm going to write aspie instead of a person with asperger's syndrome or PDD-NOS.

1.) Does all aspies need to have everything the same every day? Like they're following a strict schedule that's almost the same every day?

2.) Do all aspies have problem with hygien and clothing?

3.) Are all aspies emotionally cold towards others?

4.) Are all aspies good at math and technical stuff?

5.) Do all aspies have a weird or monotone voice?

6.) Do all aspies lack the ability to feel what others are feeling?

7.) Do all aspies lack facial gestures?

8.) Are all aspies experts at something?

Hmm I think that was all the questions. I put in more if I come up with more.



squonk
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06 Oct 2010, 4:36 am

Hello there...

These are just my opinions...

1.) Does all aspies need to have everything the same every day? Like they're following a strict schedule that's almost the same every day?

2.) Do all aspies have problem with hygiene and clothing?

3.) Are all aspies emotionally cold towards others?

4.) Are all aspies good at math and technical stuff?

5.) Do all aspies have a weird or monotone voice?

6.) Do all aspies lack the ability to feel what others are feeling?

7.) Do all aspies lack facial gestures?

8.) Are all aspies experts at something?

I can answer "NO" to all of the above. And why? Because I know that all Aspies can be different. We cannot generalise. It is just the way it is.

I will answer [for you] about me though...

I do have kind of a weird and monotonous voice.
I am fastidious about hygiene and clothing, not sure what 'problem' you were referring to.
I am certainly good at maths and computing,.
I would not say I am an expert at anything.
I do know I lack facial gestures, yes.
I am able to relate to people's feelings.
I don't think I am emotionally cold towards others.
I absolutely have to follow a strict routine every day.



tenzinsmom
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06 Oct 2010, 4:54 am

It may seem confusing at first or contradictory to a lot of stuff written about autism (that's aspergers too) out there, but
there is no unilateral "All aspies do and are such and such".

There are tendencies and much variance within the tendencies.

And now, I leave the rest up to the people who can answer best with more detail, but not before I cyber pat you on the back for
coming here. It's a good place to learn.


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Autumnsteps
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06 Oct 2010, 5:03 am

Hi, I will give you my experiences of your questions and hope it helps

1.) Does all aspies need to have everything the same every day? Like they're following a strict schedule that's almost the same every day? - Neither myself or either of my son do. What causes a problem is the unexpected. Anything within our general day to day life is fine but go outside of that and I feel stressed unless I have planned and prepared for it, which takes away the unexpectedness of it, if you see what I mean?

2.) Do all aspies have problem with hygiene and clothing? - I am 31 and still have to cut clothes labels out and am very picky about what clothes feel like and how they fit. If I find clothes I like I will gladly buy several and wear the same thing everyday. My oldest son has very bad hygiene, he simply doesn't see why he should care. My younger son does not object to having a wet nappy or clothes and potty training is proving impossible. I would say I am less concerned with hygiene than some people. I bath/shower etc but as a need, I know I should. I do not care about fancy bubble baths, shower gels, body lotions etc etc

3.) Are all aspies emotionally cold towards others? - I feel as though I feel to much from and for other people. I withdraw because it hurts/stresses me so may seem cold to people. MY wife always says I am too hard on myself and too soft on others.

4.) Are all aspies good at math and technical stuff? - not me, I find math very hard to understand. I do ok with some technical stuff. My son is very good at math, science, undretsanding computers and that sort of thing.

5.) Do all aspies have a weird or monotone voice? - I hope I don't and my sons don't

6.) Do all aspies lack the ability to feel what others are feeling? - Not in my personal experience, I feel it too much sometimes and also 'feel' things from my surroundings

7.) Do all aspies lack facial gestures? - Not in our cases

8.) Are all aspies experts at something? - I'm quite good at a lot of things but I have had a lot of time to teach myself



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06 Oct 2010, 5:52 am

Like everyone else said, all aspies are different. Some of those things are common aspie traits though. I'll answer about how I am..

1. I don't do the same thing every day. Like someone else said, I do need some level of predictability, though. If I'm counting on doing certain things and it suddenly changes, it can bother me a lot. I also don't really like for other people to interfere with my idea of what I'm going to be doing. In some situations it's caused meltdowns. This can cause problems with authority because I'm stubborn and already have my mind set on something a lot of the time.

2. I have some issues with hygeine and clothing. A lot of it is just absent-mindedness, really.

3. Sometimes I might seem emotionally cold. I care about other people, but I don't show it like most people do.

4. I'm okay at math and technical stuff, but not outstanding. I like numbers a lot, but i don't find math classes and stuff all that interesting. I'm not a tech geek or anything either.

5. I don't think my voice is weird, but I have definitely been accused of being monotone a few times.

6. It's hard to feel that others are feeling. I care, but I don't always understand very well unless someone is in a similar situation to one I've been in.

7. I don't completely lack facial expression all together, but i have a lot less of it than most people. I usually have a mostly blank and neutral expression unless I'm really excited or laughing about something. All my life people have told me to smile.

8. Well, I learn a lot about the special interests I have usually. I know a lot about reptiles.



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06 Oct 2010, 6:02 am

Yup......there's nothing on your list that would apply to ALL aspies. For every rule there are exceptions. I don't think I fit any of those generalisations at all.......my routine isn't exactly the same every day, I'm fairly clean and don't have great difficulty with my clothes, I'm capable of a lot of warmth to others, I'm not brilliant with numbers, my voice can have a lot of intonation, I can feel what others are feeling sometimes, I can do a lot of facial gestures, and I'm not what I'd call an expert at anything.



blahbla
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06 Oct 2010, 6:21 am

NekoHime wrote:
As the title say, I have some questions. I hope I don't sound to stupid and yes I have been reading books about asperger's syndrome and PDD-NOS, but they haven't answerd my questions. To start with I will tell that my problems are morw of ADHD type since that it's a 96% chance that I have that but I'm not sure on the asperger thing but I shall get tested for that too 'cause they think I may have it. I don't mean any harm with the questions.
For making it easy for me I'm going to write aspie instead of a person with asperger's syndrome or PDD-NOS.

1.) Does all aspies need to have everything the same every day? Like they're following a strict schedule that's almost the same every day?
I strongly prefer having a "strict schedule". I don't have meltdowns if something unexpected happens, but it really bothers me.

2.) Do all aspies have problem with hygien and clothing?
I used to have a problem with hygiene, but I've grown out of it. I don't have any troubles with clothing

3.) Are all aspies emotionally cold towards others?
Not really sure how to answer this personally...

4.) Are all aspies good at math and technical stuff?
I'm slightly above average in math but I'm obsessed with electronics and technology. Luckily I've changed my obsession from a hobby to a career :)

5.) Do all aspies have a weird or monotone voice?
I do speak in a monotone most of the time.

6.) Do all aspies lack the ability to feel what others are feeling?
I don't necessarily lack the ability to do so, it's just very difficult

7.) Do all aspies lack facial gestures?
My face is neutral most of the time, though I do smile easily if someone strikes a conversation with me

8.) Are all aspies experts at something?
It depends on the person.

Hmm I think that was all the questions. I put in more if I come up with more.


These are pretty general questions. Every Aspie is unique, as the above posters have said, but alot do share some common traits. It's impossible to list a trait that would match every Aspie



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06 Oct 2010, 7:22 am

The most amazing thing about people is That every single one is different that is true of all sub groups equaly those with Aspergers Syndrome.


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NekoHime
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06 Oct 2010, 7:42 am

Thanks all for answering, I'm still scared and I don't know if I can cope if I get an AS diagnos. Ppl tell me that I'm stupid of being scared for that but I can't see how that can be stupid.
All thoose questions was things I've heard and read that aspies should be and it doesn't fit me at all.

I hate routines and scheduels 'cause I need much exitment and variations, but I do get really upset if something doesn't go as I planed or something I should do get cancled and things like that. I also have stuff that have to be my way if you don't want me to turn into a monster.

I had problems with hairwashing as a kid and I can't shower, I think it hurts but otherwise I have always thought it's very impiortant to be clean and I do have problems with finding right material on clothes but my question for clothing was more that I've heard that aspies don't care about their looks and I do care a lot. I may not care in the same way as other 'cause I love japanese street fashion, especially decora.

I don't really know how I am emotionally towards others but I am a very emotional person and is easily triggered and change mood easy too and usually just know/feel what others are feeling but usually I don't know what the feeling is. I have general problem with understanding and telling what my feeling is but I do feel a lot.. like to much.

I hate math and I got the diagnos dyscalculia when I was younger and I hate tech stuff.... unless it's sci-fi or cyperpunk.

I've been told that I have childish and fairly various tone when I speak and I have alot of facial and body gestures but mostly say they are very much anime-like and I think that is very correct. I don't think about it when I do it but I know I look and behave anime-like and cute in almost everything I do. I just is that way.

I love a lot of stuff and know fairly much about a lot of stuff but I'm no expert in anything.


So now I have answered all the questions myself.



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06 Oct 2010, 7:45 am

1.) Does all aspies need to have everything the same every day? Like they're following a strict schedule that's almost the same every day?

- I don't have a strict schedule. I have things I look forward to! Unless the request for me to do something is unusual, I'll probably not do it without notice. That's about as strict as I get.

2.) Do all aspies have problem with hygien and clothing?

- I wear a lot of the same stuff. Same shirt or pair of pants every day for quite a while usually. I used to get teased for this in school.

3.) Are all aspies emotionally cold towards others?

- I am, because I don't know how I am supposed to be feeling. I'm great with my dog though!

4.) Are all aspies good at math and technical stuff?

- Bad at math, but also not very educated in the field. I did okay with formal education, but work very slowly.

5.) Do all aspies have a weird or monotone voice?

- I believe that I can get monotone, but usually am not monotone at all.

6.) Do all aspies lack the ability to feel what others are feeling?

- I mostly do lack in this area. It comes from a lack of realizing they are thinking and feeling things for whatever situation. It's not that I don't know others do those things; It is that it never occurs to me at the moment. I'm not very good with emotional stuff anyway.


7.) Do all aspies lack facial gestures?

- Pretty sure I don't. I had to practice fake smiles though. A lot! I still go to a mirror to make sure my fake smile is okay before getting a picture taken.

8.) Are all aspies experts at something?

- I used to get pretty obsessed with things as a kid. One of my favorite games that I played all the time, at one point I could tell you where each and every bad guy was and when to expect them for nearly every level. I once walked my brother through and demonstrated to him this ability. He was shocked! These days though, I don't have that level of expertise with anything.

Hope that helps! Remember, not all of us are the same. We just share a lot of the same traits!


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06 Oct 2010, 7:58 am

1.) Does all aspies need to have everything the same every day? Like they're following a strict schedule that's almost the same every day?

Yes and no. My workday life is very set to a pattern. I don't know if it's from compulsion or it's just easier to do things the same. As I get bothered when something external disrupts my schedule, I suppose it is an AS trait. A touch of OCD.


2.) Do all aspies have problem with hygien and clothing?

Don't know what this is supposed to mean. I love taking showers. My biggest issue with clothing is that I'm too disinterested in fashion to dress nice. To me, clothes are utilitarian. I wear what's comfortable and care little more about the issue.


3.) Are all aspies emotionally cold towards others?

No. We have problems processing emotion. I can feel something for someone, but not know how to appropriately show it. Often, I feel nothing for anyone unless there is something that makes me feel the emotion very strongly. NTs feel things along a spectrum of mild to intense. Someone with AS might not even register the emotion until it's of sufficient intensity.


4.) Are all aspies good at math and technical stuff?

I've had lots of problems with math, but I think a lot of it is a lack of time to get comfortable with it. I don't have an issue with math. I do have problems doing anything complex in my head, but I find it's because I can't focus very well. Technical stuff? I'm really into science and computers. Does that qualify?


5.) Do all aspies have a weird or monotone voice?

I wonder if everyone thinks their voice sounds weird. I'm not monotone, but I've learned to use inflection. Hard to say. Need someone objective to tell me how I sound.


6.) Do all aspies lack the ability to feel what others are feeling?

Yes and no. I can empathize with others...especially if I've been through a similar experience. Sometimes I can even "sense" the emotions of others. Do I know how to properly respond? Often, no. My "sympathies" are almost entirely mechanical based on what I've learned as an "appropriate" response for the situation.


7.) Do all aspies lack facial gestures?

No. I can be quite animated, but I do get from my dad that I seem expressionless. I suppose it depends on the situation. If something energizes me, I'm really animated. If it's the same old thing, I'm a blank slate.


8.) Are all aspies experts at something?

Define "expert." I'm not an "expert" at anything, but I know a lot about a whole lot of little things. My "expertise" only extends on something for as long as it holds my interest. I'm certainly no savant on any one topic.



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06 Oct 2010, 8:10 am

NekoHime wrote:
As the title say, I have some questions. I hope I don't sound to stupid and yes I have been reading books about asperger's syndrome and PDD-NOS, but they haven't answerd my questions. To start with I will tell that my problems are morw of ADHD type since that it's a 96% chance that I have that but I'm not sure on the asperger thing but I shall get tested for that too 'cause they think I may have it. I don't mean any harm with the questions.
For making it easy for me I'm going to write aspie instead of a person with asperger's syndrome or PDD-NOS.


I am not-diagnosed, but....

Quote:
1.) Does all aspies need to have everything the same every day? Like they're following a strict schedule that's almost the same every day?


Me no; my life is indeed very monotonous, but in my case is more inertia than a need to follow a strict schedule

Quote:
2.) Do all aspies have problem with hygien and clothing?


I have

Quote:
3.) Are all aspies emotionally cold towards others?


I am

Quote:
4.) Are all aspies good at math and technical stuff?


I am; however, these stereotype is even worse than a generalization, because even as a generalization is wrong - according to some studies, in average aspies are worse at math than NTs (probably the stereotype is because many of the aspies that are good at math are very good - see point 8).

Quote:
5.) Do all aspies have a weird or monotone voice?


In my case, I think not (my recorded voice is much different from my self-image of my voice, but is very similar to the regional accent of my town)

Quote:
6.) Do all aspies lack the ability to feel what others are feeling?


In my case, I don't know.

Quote:
7.) Do all aspies lack facial gestures?


I my case perhaps (or perhaps is simply lack of emotional expression).

Quote:
8.) Are all aspies experts at something?


very difficult to say - there are many issues about I know more than the persons who I relate; however, I suppose that, in almost these issues someone with formal qualifications will know more than I.



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06 Oct 2010, 8:44 am

No to all of them, might be more common but it is not required. He'll I don't really Fit on any of those things



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06 Oct 2010, 9:42 am

1.) I don't have to have things the same way, every day. I need variety.

2.) I don't have problems with hygene in the sense that I don't wash myself or my hair and brush my teeth. I do have incontinence issues in the poop department, and I need special underpants. Even than, I still clean up quite nicely. Not all people with AS have that problem.

I enjoy dressing up. The thing is that I have taken a liking to unisex 60s clothing, over the course of my lifetime.

3.) I'm actually quite warm towards other people.

4.) I'm not very good in that area. This is my weak area.

5.) I'm a female and I sound quite a bit like Mick Avory of The Kinks. That does not bother me. At least I sound like an adult.

6.) I can feel exactly what everybody else is feeling, and I can cry very easily, because of it.

7.) I have Mick Avory's face. I usually look depressed, unless I'm smiling with my teeth or laughing, or I'm really excited about something. I do not believe in botox, or plastic surgery.

8.) I know a lot about The Kinks.


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06 Oct 2010, 9:55 am

NekoHime wrote:
As the title say, I have some questions. I hope I don't sound to stupid and yes I have been reading books about asperger's syndrome and PDD-NOS, but they haven't answerd my questions. To start with I will tell that my problems are morw of ADHD type since that it's a 96% chance that I have that but I'm not sure on the asperger thing but I shall get tested for that too 'cause they think I may have it. I don't mean any harm with the questions.
For making it easy for me I'm going to write aspie instead of a person with asperger's syndrome or PDD-NOS.

1.) Does all aspies need to have everything the same every day? Like they're following a strict schedule that's almost the same every day? Not everybody, and I don't generally have a problem with that sort of thing, but sometimes, when I go on vacation, it takes longer for me to adjust, so I guess it would be kind of mild in a way for me, but it varies.

2.) Do all aspies have problem with hygien and clothing?
I'm not entirely sure. I've always had a problem with clothes, though, from wanting certain countries of the tags when I was four, to me not really caring how I look. I don't really have a problem with hygiene.
3.) Are all aspies emotionally cold towards others?
It varies. I am actually very warm, but since I rarely talk unless I know you or my special interest was mentioned, most people won't notice. I tend to like comforting people and hugging people, and I usually like to compliment or help other people.
4.) Are all aspies good at math and technical stuff?
Again, it varies. I, for one, hate math, and I sometimes cry while doing my math homework when we're working on Algebra. One of the reasons for my diagnosis was, in fact, my abilities and high scores on English, but average scores on math (although that could be NVLD....huh).

5.) Do all aspies have a weird or monotone voice?
It also varies. I actually have too much emotion in my voice.
6.) Do all aspies lack the ability to feel what others are feeling?
This is also a variable in things. I can feel what others feel, but it has to be something that will actually grab my sympathy, such as a little kid who's dying, a person who was in a concentration camp in WWII, or people who are generally upset. I don't really feel much if it is something that involves shallow things that you'd tell your Facebook friends like, "OMG!! ! I just got a NEW BF!".

7.) Do all aspies lack facial gestures?
I have a hard time changing my facial expression if I'm acting, but I can change my tone of voice very well.
8.) Are all aspies experts at something?
I'm an expert at video game and otaku knowledge, English, poetry, medical stuff (I've always been interested in those stuff), psychology (see medical stuff's parentheses), and writing, as well as grammar, but you don't really have to be one.
Hmm I think that was all the questions. I put in more if I come up with more.



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06 Oct 2010, 9:57 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
1.) I don't have to have things the same way, every day. I need variety.

2.) I don't have problems with hygene in the sense that I don't wash myself or my hair and brush my teeth. I do have incontinence issues in the poop department, and I need special underpants. Even than, I still clean up quite nicely. Not all people with AS have that problem.

I enjoy dressing up. The thing is that I have taken a liking to unisex 60s clothing, over the course of my lifetime.

3.) I'm actually quite warm towards other people.

4.) I'm not very good in that area. This is my weak area.

5.) I'm a female and I sound quite a bit like Mick Avory of The Kinks. That does not bother me. At least I sound like an adult.

6.) I can feel exactly what everybody else is feeling, and I can cry very easily, because of it.

7.) I have Mick Avory's face. I usually look depressed, unless I'm smiling with my teeth or laughing, or I'm really excited about something. I do not believe in botox, or plastic surgery.

8.) I know a lot about The Kinks.


Aside from number 8 (I don't know who The Kinks are), we sound alike!