Do you wish you never existed?

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Another "Poor Me" autism thread,

I was thinking about this and I have to say screw that noise I would have missed out of so many great things like talking s**t to idiots in the supermarket check out lines or watching the great films of Ray Harryhausen.

I always get a giggle when I read a post by some dope who threatens suicide but never does...how pathetic. Theres always something cooler around the corner I must see like Phill Tippet is returning to stopmotion animation with the movie Mad God after years of computer effects like the ones he did on Starship Troopers and Jurassic Park. This news probably ain't s**t to you but for me its something to live for.

Oh my yes, as a child and especially as a teen, early teen when my bullied days were horrific but now... I realize that I have a lot to offer.

Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. I know I'm very lucky to be where I am in life but at the same time I feel like I don't deserve to have it and it should go to someone else. Sometimes I feel like I just can't face the future and then I wish I had never existed but life is just such a powerful and potent thing that I don't think I'd be able to let it go.

Absolutely not. The crappy parts are what have made me who I am today. And I know that I have somehow enriched my parents' life and my mom most definitely wanted me to exist. Her mother died 2 months before I was born. I read my mom's journal from that time and she said that I was basically the only thing that kept her going and kept her from sinking into a deep depression.

You may not know how much you are valued by other people, even if you think you aren't much to shake a leaf at.

In a word "yes".

The answers to this thread surprises me.

I am both glad and grateful for that I'm born to earth and to every little thing I like that life grants me. I used to be very sick, both physically and psychically and I still strive with both. I have and have had quite severe social problems, although I've been lucky never to be bullied by anyone. I've been treated very bad at times, but not over a long period of time by the same people.

As of today I try to adapt to a new environment (life at the university). I haven't made it very good socially yet, but I don't feel bad in the end of the day. I know there's people who have more and harder challenges than me, but I would assert that my life is way harder than for an average norwegian.

I don't judge people. Never. I intend to be nice to people I meet and if they are nice too, I won't turn my back on them. But more generally ... I do hate the mankind. I do prefer not to have people around me, except for the people that I already know and like. But I do force myself to try to be social, at least at times. I do have career ambitions and I am certain that I can't make it if I just care about myself at all times. And as I said, when I do meet someone, I intend to be nice to them.

Unlike many (?) people who have asperger syndrome, I am not very sensitive to critics or insults. And the reason for why I am not, is the same reason to that I value my life so much no matter what happens in it. When I'm on my way home, thinking "wow, this day has been a disaster", which it often has, I do comfort myself with that (almost) no matter what happens, I will always have myself, my intellect and my interest. Noone can take away the time I enjoy with myself, except of course if they psysically hinder me in some way. Even if everything fails one day, it doesn't matter when I get home and I can sink into my own inner. I treasure that ability more than anything.

I do not wish that I never existed. In fact, I do not even wish that I did not have asperger syndrome. I treasure that, too.

No, but I think the rest of the world would have had a better time without me, so I guess Im egoistic.

I have to correct myself: I know I affect some people really badly (its never on purpose), but that doesnt go for everybody in the world; luckily! And I really enjoy to exist, but I have to be egoistic when I think of this, because the way I am aware of my existance is something I cant share.

It's 50-50 with me, though I generally lean towards yes.

Yes, I wish I was never born.

Did you get any correct answers, yet? Tell me when you do.