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CockneyRebel
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22 Feb 2011, 12:03 am

Twin posts again. Oh well.


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League_Girl
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22 Feb 2011, 12:05 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
Maybe I've caused enough trouble in this thread, already. I've opened up a whole new can of worms.


What trouble?



CockneyRebel
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22 Feb 2011, 12:10 am

League_Girl wrote:
CockneyRebel wrote:
Maybe I've caused enough trouble in this thread, already. I've opened up a whole new can of worms.


What trouble?


You're right. What trouble? I've expressed an opinion. That opinion isn't very popular around here but I had to say what I thought. The thing that I said about abortion.


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22 Feb 2011, 12:22 am

My wife and I went down to the Court house and eloped. No fuss, some people got a little upset ,but they got over it.

As a father myself I can speek from experience here. Kids are about as "random and messy" as it gets. Having a kid will screw up your routine. Kid's also bring people into your life,and the questions wont stop, they will just change. Having a kid is hard work.

But it is also the greatest thing in the world.

I love my routine and space too. But the sacrifice is well worth it. I cope by having a space that is just for me (my worksop). My wife and I take turns and give each other time by ourselves.

You give up alot when you have a child but you gain so much more. Good luck.

Be a good husband and father because in the end these are probably the only things that matter in life.



FireMinstrel
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22 Feb 2011, 12:50 am

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What trouble? I've expressed an opinion. That opinion isn't very popular around here but I had to say what I thought. The thing that I said about abortion.

It'd be a mighty shame if this were to cause the thread to get derailed into a debate over pro-choice vs. pro-life, and it certainly wouldn't help the OP's problem. That's the trouble.


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22 Feb 2011, 12:52 am

League_Girl wrote:
Can you skip class and then make up the assignments you missed or is college different?


The program I am is different.

Its provided by my college, but its off campus and its an 8 week program. So basically, I take 8 week courses, have a week break, then take another set of two classes in 8 weeks.

Its an accelerated program.

I could ask her to schedule her test when I don't have class. I was just having a freak out because we had a fight earlier today. She said I wasn't supportive. We're first timers on everything. And she doesn't want me to miss anything.

@Everyone: Thank you. You're all very very helpful.

@Cockney: I understand your opinion and its okay. But I don't feel the same way. But that's okay.


Edit: We've worked something out. Even though she's only 8 weeks along. I'll have a friend record the process with her and she'll show me that later night.



glamourdollxoxo
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22 Feb 2011, 1:39 am

What is your living and working situation currently? You and her need to discuss your options fully together and come to a conclusion on if you want to parent, stay in school, etc.



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22 Feb 2011, 1:55 am

glamourdollxoxo wrote:
What is your living and working situation currently? You and her need to discuss your options fully together and come to a conclusion on if you want to parent, stay in school, etc.


I just go to school. And work part time at a friends family owned photo studio, he gives me very flexible hours.

She works in child development and works with preschool kids and soon kindergarten kids.



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22 Feb 2011, 3:13 am

hi i'm sorry for what you're going through with such great things, that it is so great the pressure is just as much. try to think through it and gather your thoughts and composed yourself together. try to manage everything in your own way. provide yourself time and space away from it. but do not make drastic decisions, it will pass though it may take time. speak to your girl about how this affects you negatively if you could but try not say your plan or sentiments that all of this is pushing you away.. toughen up a bit, its really that much pressure to anyone going through the same situation. hope you find your way and place with all this. i wish you luck and congratulations too.


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22 Feb 2011, 3:58 am

NcNbl wrote:
hi i'm sorry for what you're going through with such great things, that it is so great the pressure is just as much. try to think through it and gather your thoughts and composed yourself together. try to manage everything in your own way. provide yourself time and space away from it. but do not make drastic decisions, it will pass though it may take time. speak to your girl about how this affects you negatively if you could but try not say your plan or sentiments that all of this is pushing you away.. toughen up a bit, its really that much pressure to anyone going through the same situation. hope you find your way and place with all this. i wish you luck and congratulations too.


Thanks.

And yes, I think I was just driven bananas by her own mother.

Her mother immediatedly jumped on the bang wagon and her voice is so grating...sorry have to say it.



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22 Feb 2011, 4:14 am

Pandora_Box wrote:
And yes, I think I was just driven bananas by her own mother.

Her mother immediatedly jumped on the bang wagon and her voice is so grating...sorry have to say it.

its fairly common.. your remark is even actually not at all severe to usual comments made about a mother-in-law or at least soon to be.. hehe.. its just a phase in relationships, they are all going through it too with you but of course different in perspective, in different ways. find a place in all of this that you'd be fine and happy with; after all its yours, its your relationship with these people. its somewhere there, just weather it well, take your time, do not beat yourself up too much.. :)


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22 Feb 2011, 4:47 am

NcNbl wrote:
its fairly common.. your remark is even actually not at all severe to usual comments made about a mother-in-law or at least soon to be.. hehe.. its just a phase in relationships, they are all going through it too with you but of course different in perspective, in different ways. find a place in all of this that you'd be fine and happy with; after all its yours, its your relationship with these people. its somewhere there, just weather it well, take your time, do not beat yourself up too much.. :)


If it was up to me I'd hide in a bomb shelter.

Her mom just ask so many god damn questions. She liked me when we first met, she thought I was nice. Just never have I found one person who just leeches off of me.
I'm afraid one day I'll scream at her.



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22 Feb 2011, 5:16 am

Pandora_Box wrote:
If it was up to me I'd hide in a bomb shelter.

Her mom just ask so many god damn questions. She liked me when we first met, she thought I was nice. Just never have I found one person who just leeches off of me.
I'm afraid one day I'll scream at her.


lol! but dont, bail out when you think you might in your conversation. i'm sorry, that's just being very much neurotypical of her, she's feeling more than she is thinking.. you know she don't mean to. its a very emotional time in her life and her daughter's and grandkid. she just wants to be assured things will be okay, but her emotions are getting the best of her. just give her a very diplomatic open ended response like, you're thinking and will doing the best or what you find fit in the situation at hand, that you have the best of interest at heart regarding all this. discussing everything right now does not necessarily solve anything too, but don't say that. hehe.. at least there is 'like' in the beginning it wouldn't be that hard to have it again if things go sour. try to have fun with it or find more meaning, that maybe this difficulty is just like some sort of gate towards something great, regardless where it opens up to. i'm sure they are all as concerned and caring for your well being with all that's going on, they just cant show you correctly.. hehe..


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22 Feb 2011, 5:27 am

NcNbl wrote:
lol! but dont, bail out when you think you might in your conversation. i'm sorry, that's just being very much neurotypical of her, she's feeling more than she is thinking.. you know she don't mean to. its a very emotional time in her life and her daughter's and grandkid. she just wants to be assured things will be okay, but her emotions are getting the best of her. just give her a very diplomatic open ended response like, you're thinking and will doing the best or what you find fit in the situation at hand, that you have the best of interest at heart regarding all this. discussing everything right now does not necessarily solve anything too, but don't say that. hehe.. at least there is 'like' in the beginning it wouldn't be that hard to have it again if things go sour. try to have fun with it or find more meaning, that maybe this difficulty is just like some sort of gate towards something great, regardless where it opens up to. i'm sure they are all as concerned and caring for your well being with all that's going on, they just cant show you correctly.. hehe..


Thanks.

The last thing is her mom likes to show me rooms of baby rooms. And then she likes to show me picture of baby clothes. And I'm like...yes I know we're going to have a baby, but my god. Woman. please. how many times do I have to say we have to wait and we don't know how we're going to plan this before she gets the idea.

rofl.

My fiancee she's funny. Me and her tend to talk about her mom when we do sleep together. We make impersonations here and there. And by sleep I really mean sleep, two people in the bed. Not the other sleep.



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22 Feb 2011, 6:00 am

I remember the same situation, quite frankly I'm NT and a pretty chilled out person, yet I still wanted to explode into furious anger, and slap interfering people, there were some tense moments, its very very stressful. So actually it's normal to feel the way you do, and I reckon it sounds like you are doing quite well.

Think of all this baby-room and wedding stuff as a kind of trial by fire, just hang in there as best you can, you will make it, many of us have also been down this path and it does get better :D



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22 Feb 2011, 6:07 am

awww.. that's so cute.. see you really love her, you have a good time being with her, you have moments.. so don't let go.. anywhere anybody anytime would be in some difficulty, at least you're with the one you love.

and come one, give momma in law some credit if it wasnt for her, you wouldn't have the girl you are with, and everything she is and about, and how she is.. and if it wasn't for her you also wouldn't have those little things you laugh about with your girlfriend.. right?! hehe..

its part of relationships and part of life everyone will go through something similar.. see, nostromo knows what you're talking about, just go with it, live it; it doesnt have to be something to be survived, though it could feel that way.. don't concern yourself too much with their concerns, be concerned with what you choose and what really concerns you and focus your mental energy there so you wouldn't be all bothered or exhausted.. and i think i should shut up now.. hehe :)


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