Expressing myself through written words

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I want to scream and throw the keyboard out the window. The frustration I feel using the device. Before answering me and saying that using a keyboard is easy. Its not the device but what happens up in my mind. The keyboard is just a symbol of the frustration of expressing myself with the written word.

Just writing this post is really hard. Not this post specifically but anything having to do with expressing myself with the written word s a real challenge.

Not that there is a problem with coming up with the words and typing them up. The problem happens afterwords when I look over what I written. Did I say the right thing, is the person reading this going to understand what I typed etc... I end up spending hours erasing and retyping what I already wrote. Trying to find what will convince me that I wrote something that you as a reader will understand what I'm trying to express.

Even writing this post is a major and time consuming effort. I could spend the whole day editing the post if I let myself. The simple answer would be not to express myself here on the forum and go do something I like doing. But that solution does not work for my business.

As part of my dealing with customers, I have to reply to their emails. I cannot reply back to them unless I want to lose customers, but at the same time I cannot spend hours just replying to a email. I need to spend that time repairing computers so I can get paid.

I was wondering if anyone else has the same problem expressing themselves through the written word. If they do, do they have any coping mechanisms to keep the time they spend on it in check.

here it comes again, the need to erase everything I wrote because I feel it is not expressing what I feel and what to communicate. Suppressing the urge to move my finger over to that backspace key. I need to stop and go to bed. So maybe the keyboard will go out the window right now. Keep the mouse long enough to click on submit.

I do the same thing... and I'm doing it now, I've counted about 6 times that I've done it on this particular reply, that is the reason why I have so few posts/replies on this Forum. The only thing I've been able to do to get through anything is to just stick to the facts really. If someone has a question, I make sure to answer it. If I have any emotion toward anything I keep it brief so I don't bombard the reader. Honestly it's just too easy to hit the backspace or delete button now. This probably isn't helpful at all, but at least you know your not the only one out there.

I do this all the time. I wonder is it's an aspie thing. I'm always afraid of others interpreting wrongly what I say. Sometimes I say something instinctively and some people don't like me anymore (and they ignore me completely afterwards) because they think I said something mean. They just don't understand that there was no hidden message in what I said! There is just so many way a sentence can be misinterpreted. It's worse in a text(because we can't express facial expressions) but it also is true when talking to somebody.

Btw, the worse thing is when sending message to girls on dating website. There is so many ways you can screw up. I lose many hours just to write a single message!

I do the same sort of thing. When I'm writing something, I actually look up many of the words in a dictionary to be sure I'm saying exactly what I mean to say. And even then, most of the time, I feel like I've typed something stupid that I didn't really mean. I guess it's the same problem I have with speech. I don't think in words, and translating thoughts to words is difficult.

I am the same way with every post including this one. I am worse with writing letters or e-mails. I would rather write a term paper on a topic of interest than write a note expressing my feelings to someone.

Yes -I have similar issues with the written word and I share your frustration. Pulling words out of my brain and organizing them in a manner that others will understand and won't be misconstrued, is very difficult for me. I have difficulty expressing myself verbally as well but I usually have the opportunity to re-explain myself if necessary.

For me, it's like trying to use a graphics program to do word processing. It's possible - but it's awkward, clunky,slow and most of the time what I write sounds like a bad translation of my thoughts and ideas and I hate it.

This post represents about 20 minutes of effort and I still am not happy with it. The only reason I'm posting this is to let you know that you're not alone.

There are some editors'/writers' principles I occasionally use ...

First just write whatever first comes to mind and even simply just "spit it out", if necessary;
Go back through it and do any major cleanup/s obviously needed;
Delete the first and last paragraphs;
Consolidate/delete all into about half its present length;
Make a final pass through ... then send it.

If you just say what you mean and mean what you say, your reader can takes things from there.

I got better over time by posting what I've written, even if it sucks (by my standards). The forum games section is a good place to get used to hitting submit, since you don't need to think as much about the content of your post.

I'm the exact opposite. For me, my thoughts flow free and clear when I'm writing and I seldom feel the need to rewrite anything. My issues only really come about when I try to speak my thoughts.

To the OP: You express your doubts about expressing yourself in written word brilliantly!

Your thoughts come through clearly, and the constructs of both sentences and words make you sound like you have no difficulty communicating at all.

I'll extend that observation to all who replied as well.

Isn't it a marvelous age we live in, where we can take hours to compose a simple message, and those who read it can't tell. We appear in control, no pauses between thoughts, no digressions, or inability to continue, as happens so often in present day life.

dp

I sympathize with you guys. I have the same problem. Although my rage only comes up for a few days a year.
Perhaps this word trouble is why we have some non-verbal autistics?

I can construct sentences and structures which make sense to myself. But how do I know that other people will understand them? I don't. Anything I say is usually a repeat of words or ideas I have heard once before. Any original thought I have sounds like it is straight out of some Shakespearean play.

I don't have to work, so I just send it out rough and hope the person on the receiving end understands it. if not, then they can just talk to me.

Just a quick message here. Don't have the time right now for a longer message.

But did want to express my thanks for everyone for taking time out of their day to reply. It such a relief to know other people suffer the same problem of expressing ourselves regardless of its the written or spoken word. I no longer feel alone in trying to deal with it.

THANK YOU AGAIN EVERYONE

I have a lot of trouble writing in a manner that others can understand. I try, but the words just won't come out... I was home-schooled as a kid, my mom and older sister are both very gifted writers, so my lack of writing ability caused a lot of stress, they couldn't figure why I had so much trouble writing. I remember times when it would take me an hour or more to write a single paragraph.

This post is a perfect example, it took 10-15 minutes to write and I deleted to whole thing twice....

Well now that I have a new keyboard and some time I would thought I would write a longer reply to everyoe:

Your right that backspace or delete button is to easy to press. Allows me to cave in and decide what I wrote will be misunderstood.

What you had to say was real helpful and I appreciate it. The help is knowing that I am not the only one who has problems with the written word



I think it would be a aspie thing. Just like AS's have problems interrupting facial expressions and other non verbal clues the same thing can be said about the written word. Written word has styles, tone, grammer usage, what words we use and how we put them together that convey a hidden meaning like the non verbal clues.

I can relate to sending messages to girls on a dating website from my time doing it. I think any pressure suitation where want you say can make or break it with the other person.



Thats true its the transalation that is the hardest. I have no problem in my head thinking what I want to say. But when it comes out of my mind it seems garbled and the meaning has changed.



Yes when it comes to emotions thats the hardest part of the writing. The more intense the emotions the worse it becomes like writting this initial post.



I like your metaphor about using a graphics program to do word processing. The frustation and time wasted doing that way makes me wonder if it is worth it expressing myself. Another reason to stay at my desk doing my special interest than be social with people.

Thank you for taking the time to post it even if you feel it is incomplete. Not feeling alone about this problem makes a big difference in my thinking about it.



Those are good tips. I do have a question about one. Why do you delete the first and last paragraphs.

To me the first paragraph is to introduce the reader to what I'm going to talk about. While the last one, is to recap about what I wrote about and end the writing.



Thanks for the idea. I will have to give that a try.



We would be exact opposites. I find speaking my thoughts to flow fine. Although I would not say I would be a person you would have a great conversation. Sometimes finding the thoughts to continue the conversation can be a little hard. Especially if the person I am having the conversation is doing "small talk"



Thank you very much. I guess that is one benefit of spending so much time editing what I wrote down.

Isn't that very true about the marvelous age we live in. Just like someone eating something for a meal. It can take a few minutes to digest it and comment on what they ate. But they have no idea how long and how much work the cook went in to making it.



Ok I will talk to you about not understanding. What exactly did you mean by the last sentence in the first paragraph?

Thats a good tip about sending it out rough. Instead of spending time obessing over every word and sentence in what I write just send it out rough by my standards. If the person has a problem with understanding they can ask for clarification



I would not be too hard on yourself. Your post was concise, to the point and came across clearly to me. The kind of written word I like reading.

I can relate to what you have to say about the words just won't come out. When I'm doing the initial draft of what I'm writting the words sometimes do not come out. The ideas are in my head but forming them into words that I type is hard because I cannot find the words to express what I think.

The one thing I did notice reading the posts was that they where enjoyable to read. Thank you for taking the time to write them.

I was curious if anybody had tips themselves for helping them write what they want to say in less time, like what leejosepho said in his post. To start it off I will give a few of mine:

1.) Don't type what I'm thinking of saying. Instead write it down and then type it from the paper. I think this helps me because it forces me to slow down my thinking so the pen can keep up. Slowing down my thinking keeps me from trying to express everything at one time and becoming fragmented in what I write.

2.) Don't write when I'm really emotional about what I have to say. Being highly emotional and then add the frustation of trying to write just shuts down the ability to express myself or leads me to be more critical of what I wrote down.

Anyway those are the two that come to mind from the start. Thanks again for everyone that replied back to me and let me know that I'm not alone in spending too much time trying to express myself through the written word. It really meant a lot

Well, there are autistics who are non-verbal I hear. Perhaps the reason they are non verbal is that they have your exact problem except worse.

Thank you for clarifying, I think you are probably right. Sometimes the problem with expressing myself amd the fear of being misunderstood become too much that I literally shut down. Especially around strangers or if I am emotional. I can imagine the case for someone regardless of the suitation, that trying to communicate is too much regardless of the suitation..