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beclyn
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16 Sep 2011, 11:01 pm

I'm not sure this is the correct place for this thread, so move if need...

My future sister in law's father was killed in an accident. I had never met him, but i do wish to send condolences to my future sister in law and her siblings. Socially I have no clue on how to handle this appropriately. I live under a rock. The funeral and the whole family are in another state and I cant afford to go there to attend the funeral. Would it be appropriate for me to send a fruit basket to my future sister in law ? Flowers? Or just a card? And if a card what do I say?

I feel so ignorant asking all of this. I tried looking it up online and couldn't quite figure out what to do. I just want to make sure I handle it right. Can you help?



bergie
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16 Sep 2011, 11:44 pm

Keep it as simple as possible. "I am sorry for your loss."



Melpomene
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17 Sep 2011, 6:21 am

Since it was somebody you didn't know personally, but who is still more or less connected to you, I'd keep it simple. Flowers and a card with a simple message, such as bergie suggested will always be appreciated. You don't need to say more. The exact words don't really count when somebody's grieving, but the effort you put in to letting your sister in law's family know you're sorry for them will be appreciated nonetheless.



Mummy_of_Peanut
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17 Sep 2011, 8:41 am

I tend to buy a nice card, with words that are meaningful and keep what I write very simple, like the others have said. Steer clear of religious cards, unless your future sister in law is religious. Flowers will be nice too. I'm sure your thoughts will be appreciated.



beclyn
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17 Sep 2011, 10:01 pm

Okay...so flowers and a simple card stating "I"m sorry for your loss". No fruit basket? Would that be just awkward?



Callista
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18 Sep 2011, 12:00 am

If you don't know them very well, then all you are expected to do is acknowledge their loss and express sympathy. The closer you are to the people who have just suffered the loss, the more support you should provide; when someone loses a loved one, their closest friends and family are usually the people who are most comforting and who help them the most.

So, yeah, sending flowers for the funeral and a sympathy card to the family sounds about right.


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