Has anyone ever told you how you really come across?

Post Reply New Topic

Being called weird was the least of my problems, I usually got called a freak mostly, or sometimes ret*d. If I am lucky, they choose eccentric instead.

Top 3 words that describe me according to my colleagues at every place I have worked - intense, mysterious, intriguing.

I remember once, one guy who was always really direct said that I reminded him of a big wild cat in a cage. He said that was the impression I give off and that was why people didn't trust me. The rest of the group immediately agreed. He isn't the only person to have made that comparison, many people have. Funnily enough, my family and friends used to tell me that growing up too, I even got my nickname from it.

I also get accused of being up myself or a snob a lot, but it's not true, I'm just very shy and quiet around people.

Well, my mother has made me feel quite... embarrassed often enough. Because of the way I dress, etc.

A girl once told me I come across as arrogant because I don't talk that much. Well, when I still talked more, people thought it was pointless. No winning there.

Often it's the looks that people give you that express so much more than words. I don't think I have been called a "freak". Not directly.

I also talk too much, too loudly, too quietly, I mumble, I don't say enough, people think I'm unwell because I don't talk. The irony here is that this is usually in situations where I feel forced to talk, so having to talk makes me feel uncomfortable. And I know if I don't talk people will ask questions.

I sometimes ask questions that are considered inappropriate. Sometimes it bothers me when I don't think it was an inappropriate question at all.

Many times. When I was a younger child, my peers were quite uninhibited in offering criticism: they'd often tell me why they didn't like my appearance, my behaviour, my interests. Similarly, older friends and family members would often give 'constructive criticism' out of a desire to 'protect' me, trying to guide me when they thought my behaviour was likely to make me a target of bullying.

The criticism became less frequent as I got older. This was partly because I developed some serious anxiety and self-esteem issues as I got into my teens, meaning that the people I knew were very wary of hurting my feelings, and partly because my peers just reached an age when they realised that they shouldn't be so tactless when dealing with other people. Still, it has happened on occasion. One notable example was when I attended a social group for teenagers with anxiety a few months ago: the group leaders thought it'd be a good idea for me to test my 'faulty belief' that the other kids didn't like me by getting the other group members to tell me what they thought of me. The group leaders' intentions weren't exactly realised - the other kids just said that they thought I was rude, obnoxious, opinionated, abrupt and arrogant.

As for how I react to criticism, I tend to take it very badly. As malicious as it might sound, my instinct in that situation is to show the other person just how much they've hurt me. This can take several forms: giving them the cold shoulder, bursting into tears, storming out, things along those lines. It's a very immature way to behave, I know, but I don't have the resilience to take criticism on board - everything just feels like a personal attack. I suppose I've still got a lot of growing up to do.