Adult diagnosis

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I am in such a dilemma. I am in my forties, I have always known that something is seriously wrong with me. All the on-line tests are very positive for Aspergers syndrome. I have many traits and spend a lot of time and energy hiding them. It drives me mad at times and I am
not sure I can take much more, this is driving me mad, the constant moving, the thoughts, hand flapping, etc.
I am so close to seeing my GP and asking for an official diagnosis so I can access services that may help me, such as therapy.

But I have a very responsible job in the public sector and I have no idea how a diagnosis will affect my employment. If I ask HR they will know there is something wrong. I am not in a good place at the moment. Something has to change, I need a resolution, a diagnosis, an official name for what I am.

Any suggestions? Any help? Please....

Thank you

Do it. I went through with it and it was very necessary. Bad things were happening. Don't let it reach that level.

Hi,

I just want to say that you should be prepared for your GP to not have enough specialized knowledge of ASD to recognize it in you, much less to diagnose you. However seeing them and getting a referral to a therapist is a great idea.

Whatever you talk about with your therapist is confidential, so maybe you could talk about your concerns with your workplace, etc once you are comfortable with your therapist.

Also, if your diagnosis does not change the quality of the work that you do, I think that it would not affect your workplace. I know that it is possible for a workplace to discriminate against a person having a disability even though it is illegal, but if you are doing the same quality of work and providing the same level of performance that you have always given them, they really don't have any reason to change your responsibilities. Their obligation, if you decided to disclose your diagnosis or ask for adaptive resources for your position is to provide reasonable resources or supports to assist you in successfully doing your job. But all of this is something a therapist could discuss with you in more detail.

What is bothering you, specifically?

I can tell you that I was able to get psychiatric assistance with no magical diagnosis. I went to the doc with my therapist's note saying I was depressed (which I was) and that I had some other stuff (problems walking, restlessness, repetitive thoughts, etc.). He gave me some medications to try. All without having a specific label to describe my neurology.

Most docs nowadays just treat symptoms without bothering to do any diagnostic footwork. You've got repetitive thoughts? Here, try some Abilify. You've got tics? Try a benzodiazepam. Try this, try that, and let's see what's stick. Just don't ask what's wrong, because we won't tell you.

If you want long-term support, find a good psychologist and try to establish a therapeutic relationship. Again, having a specific problem is helpful--whether it's depression, anxiety, OCD, or whatever. Chances are if you are suffering enough, a quick label will be found. This label may not be Asperger's, but it will be something that will keep in you in the door and the bills paid.

I say all of this because I doubt I would have been made much progress if I had started my journey intentionally looking for someone to give me a diagnosis rather than simply helping me. Doctors, from my experience, like coming up with the diagnosis and will be contrary just for the hell of it. Also, if you don't have specific issues that need to be treated, what's the point? Just having the Asperger's diagnosis will not help you feel better.

I wouldn't worry about your job. I also work in the public sector. I've been working with a psychologist and shrink for over four years, and no one has ever said a word about it.

Autotelica,

Thank you for your reply and your experience it is of value to me.

What is bothering me ? I want to know why I am different to the norm and what it is called I suppose, so I can understand it better and fit in to a box. Fitting in a box is quite important to me, part of my condition I suppose. I am just so curious I find it hard to explain.

I recently did the Aspi test and it said any score over 12 was an indicator of Aspergis. I scored 35 with really honest answers.

I don't want tablets, but I would like some therapy, to find ways of coping better with my problems, especially the tics.

Many thanks again.

i got diagnosed when i was 30, finally getting officially tested because i was having too much trouble at the job at the time. (miraculously i had gotten transferred and things have calmed down a bit on me, so i feel ok again for now)

Thank you Simmian7. Did it make much difference to you once diagnosed? Did it open or close a door in your life ?

I feel as though I can't settle until I know for sure, so I know who I am and why I have been through what I have been through, and suffered at times.

I am a college professor, and it had no effect on me, but I suppose it might be a problem in other situations.

However, I have chosen to go public with my diagnosis. Otherwise, my employer would never have known about it.

I got diagnosed when I was 41. I went public with it. my employer has been reinfocing my strengths while reducing things that affect my weaknesses from my diagnosis.

I do many reports now and I will be getting more soon.

I got my diagnosis late as well--close to 50 or so. I am more than glad that I got a diagnosis--everything makes more sense, now, and it actually helps me cope with all the ASD traits and characteristics I have.

My job is not dependent on the appearance of complete NT normalcy, but my ASD has caused me problems there.

The good thing is that once I got diagnosed, I realized that I was born this way and I was actually doing really quite well, all things considered. In other words, my expectation that I "should" be at a higher level was proved false once I found out what my deal is.

Unfortunately, people at work and, yeah, people in general, don't get ASD. There's LOTS of misconceptions out there.

Here's a point I came across recently: if you have an official diagnosis and share it with HR, the company is bound to not discriminate against you on the basis of your condition. This doesn't mean it won't happen, just that they can't do it legally and you have better recourse than if you hadn't shared it.

On the other hand, lots of folks think it's best not to tell anyone.

I really think that the decision is up to you: if knowing would be better than not knowing, then get a diagnosis. You wouldn't have to tell anyone, but at least you would know.

Adentus,

What a fantastic employer you must have, sounds like you have had a lot of support.

Tell no-one. Just tell your General practitioner to give you a referral for an evaluation and don't leave the office till they give it.
Knowledge is the ultimate power; gather as much of it as you can!! !

I'm 30 and about at the breaking point too. In some settings I'm fine, but when I get stressed I'm almost frantically telling myself diagnose needs to happen. I've been homeless with little to no support and have been in a really dark place too. It's really easy to beat yourself up, but in reality we're generally just wired differently and innocent.