pressure to make eye contact

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I also have a problem maintaining eye contact, especially when I'm really thinking about a topic. This makes conversations awkward sometimes because while I'm actually concentrating on what soemone is saying the person in question gets irritated. I've also had therapists and other people telling me that I'm supposed to make eye contact. I'm okay with therapists doing that because it is their job to prepare me for dealing with NTs. With common people it is a bit more irritating but I usually remind myself that it's just what they are used to.

My closest friends and family are mostly used to my wandering eye contact. If someone want my input or my listening ear they can cope with my quirks, just as I do with most of humanity

When I'm in situations like job interviews I force myself to make eye contact or use the look-at-forehead-cheat, even if it is uncomfortable.

Returning to the thread question if it is okys for a counselor to behave that way: "Pressuring" sounds a bit counterproductive, however it is a fact that most people expect eye contact and not making it creates a stumbling block in communication. "Try making eye contact" is not bad counsel per se.

While some counsellors are kind and let you hang out to get away from people, they only have basic psychology training which doesn't even begin to approach that of a psychologist. I wouldn't put much faith in their advice, and they shouldn't be pressuring you in any way.

I have trouble maintaining eye contact because instead of seeing this:


I see this:


It's very distracting and I can't keep up with the conversation.

You can try look near the eyes but not directly at them. I practised with another person and we found that you do need to be looking pretty close to the eye and you should look at different things otherwise it looks fake, ie. between the eyes, left eyelid, right eyelid. Basically don't stare and look close to the eye but not at it. You can reduce the total amount of eye contact by reserving it for important parts of the conversation such as getting someone's attention or showing that you are listening.

I agreed to cognitive behavioral therapy sessions a few years ago to help with eye contact. I thought it would be a complete failure, because I just couldn't see myself ever doing any better. But it turned out to have an interesting conclusion -- I learned how to make brief eye contact both while talking and while the other person was talking to me, but kind of a mix of looking at items in the room around the person and the person's eyes. It used to be people would look behind them because they apparently had the perception I was talking to someone behind them, but now that I do it this way, they don't seem to notice that I have a problem with eye contact at all.

I've had problems with eye contact since I was little. It's only as I've got older that other people have really started to have an issue with it. I live in care and the amount of times I hear 'LOOK AT ME' or 'ARE YOU LISTENING!?' because I am not glaring at the other person's eyes is frustrating. Before anyone asks, no, the staff here are not trained in autism and I am trying to find another home...

My response is often 'If I AM looking right in your eyes you'd better run because it means I am about to attack you!' Much like animals including dogs, I find eye contact intimidating and almost quite aggressive. I am more likely to be listening to someone if I am not looking at them! I'm quite lucky really though because I have dark brown eyes so when I look behind someone, it looks like I am looking at them! I've fooled quite a lot of people minus the discomfort!