Literally seeing the Trees vs Forest

Post Reply New Topic

I always liked looking at little pictures, quiet little scenes. When things are small like that, I can take everything in at once and take my time looking at all the details.

Well, several weeks ago, I had a strange and brief experience with seeing "the big picture" visually.

For the past several months, I had been sleeping during the day and staying awake all night. I hadn't been seeing much sun and had only walked out in partial daylight a few times in the past week or so.
So then one day I walked out in the early morning light. It was really bright out and I felt this calm excitement come over me. I looked around, and everything was really quiet and nice. I could see everything around me like I was looking at a small picture. As in, I felt I could take everything in, I guess. I don't know if it truly registered as that at the time, but I knew I felt different and that everything was extra peaceful.

Then, after maybe a minute, everything quickly "changed". My eyes seemed to focus on what was infront of me, which was the tree I was looking at, but now I was looking at the texture or the tree and I was kind of just staring in one spot. Like, I suddenly had a "tunnel vision focus". There were other things to look at, but I had to "manually" move my eyes to see them. I mean, it didn't feel as natural to look around like moments before. And, everything got louder and fuzzier at the same time. Suddenly, there were birds, bugs, and the rustle of leaves. I suppose it's possible that everything outside decided to start making noise all at once, but... I think maybe somehow I just didn't take in the noises for some reason? I'm not so sure on that part. My vision definitely changed though. I also felt more claustrophobic and fuzzy.

Anyhow, that's how I think I normally see things (the tunnel vision thing). I didn't really think about it in the same way before because I hadn't experienced such an obvious change between "seeing the big picture" and "seeing the details".

Since then, I've been staying awake during the day and I've tried several times to "relax" or "elevate myself" and see the big picture... but... well, it hasn't noticeably happened again yet. It's frustrating, because I believe this may be the root of a lot of my problems. (Well, it's either the chicken or the egg, or the chicken's brother... I don't know, but it seems to be of some significance. :\ )

See, sometimes I go into busy shops and feel like I need to freeze up or else I'm going to have some kind of nervous ticks or run into something. It prevents me from looking around and enjoying things and maybe with communicating things...

I'm not diagnosed with anything other than selective-mutism and I don't know if I'm just describing sensory overload or what. ><
And I could type a book on all of my thoughts right now but I'm trying really hard to keep this short because I really want someone to actually respond.

So, my questions are...
Has anyone else experienced stuff like this?
If I have been able to experience the calm, big-picture-thing, what might help me to experience it again? Medication? Is that too risky? Could this just be from some weird general anxiety thing I didn't know I had?
(And btw, I don't think I have depression or a lot of anxiety on a regular basis... Not now since I regularly stay away from most all social situations and I'm very physically fit and I take vitamin D for the lack of sunlight.)

Any thoughts?

It may have had something to do with your sleep patterns. Your mind can do strange things when alternating between sleeping days and sleeping nights.
Many years ago when I first began working a night shift, I came home from work in the morning and was about to fall asleep, when my daughter asked me to write a note to excuse an absence form school. Luckily, she read the note before turning it in because the note started out normal, but drifted off into nonsense. Apparently, I had drifted off to sleep while writing the note, but continued to write!
I don't know if focusing on detail can cause anxiety, but I know that it can cause moments of confusion, especially in unfamiliar places.

Interesting.
When changing my sleep schedule, I've had moments when I felt I should be sleeping while awake and awake while sleeping... Memories of dreams during the day and waking up at night with workout songs in my head... But that's about all I've experienced with that.

Maybe the sudden, brief change had to do with my sleep pattern, but that doesn't explain how I feel on a regular basis.

I should probably mention, I had NOT changed my sleep pattern when I had the experience. I changed it afterwards. I had been going to sleep in the mid-morning and waking up at sunset. So, I had been awake in the daylight but had been closed off inside the house not going out in the sun...

I do tend to slide into nocternal sleeping patterns and I certainly have that zoomed-in detail vision but I cant recall much of a sudden change as you describe.

I know what you mean.

I have this "big picture" thing sporadically. Unfortunately, it lasts few seconds and I never know when will happen again. I always tried to make it happens on purpose with no success so far. But I see the point when you say this could be the root of a lot of problems. I imagine reading facial expressions would be so much easier, for example.

I often fall asleep uncontrollably while sitting down if I'm sleep deprived, and I've also had non-psychotic hallucinations while in the weird twilight zone between being asleep and waking up. I've even had an incident where I was hallucinating/dreaming about ghosts in my apartment, and no, I still can't determine if it was a dream, or a sleep-disordered hallucination.

Yes, I have had this experience before, very similar to how you describe. I've always joked that I'm the person who either sees the spot on the wing of the bug on the bark of one particular tree in the forest or discusses comparative global forestry patterns. I can either notice fine details or think abstractly/conceptually. What I have trouble with is just ... sensing things around me as they are.. being aware... I simply have to either micro-focus or think it over in theoretical terms. I'm usually either lost in thought in my own head or so focused on details that I don't notice the proverbial forest.

I find that it is at times I am least stressed that I am able to "experience" the world, tho even then just in little bits and pieces. Every time it happens I think to myself-- is this what it's like to be NT?

Sleep deprivation is a fun way to alter your state of consciousness. I'm too old to do it now though, I start straight-up hallucinating if I go past like 20 hrs.