Are there Aspies that CAN read body language?

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lyricalillusions
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13 Oct 2012, 5:01 pm

I haven't gotten a formal diagnosis yet, but I can read some/most body language.


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Inuyasha
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13 Oct 2012, 5:23 pm

It takes a conscious effort for someone on the spectrum to read body language, I have found it is easier to read someone else whom is on the spectrum though.

Another thing I've noticed is you can sometimes listen to a person's tone of voice.

I can read people's body language to an extent, I'd be lieing if I told you it is easy, but it can be done.



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13 Oct 2012, 5:36 pm

SoftKitty wrote:
Hello there!

My screen name is SoftKitty and I am totally new here. I´ve recently found out that I might have Aspergers, but I am not sure, so I am now waiting to be tested. The problem is that I am in a long line of clients, and will/won´t be diagnosed only after 10 months (!). That´s a horribly long time for me, so I am trying to find informations on my own.

The problem with my upcoming diagnosis lies here: I fit nearly every criteria for Aspergers, but I actually AM ABLE to read other people´s body language very well. I even seem to know what they are thinking. However, it is weird that I I can´t find out other people´s intentions. So I dunno if they are my friends, if they want to date me, or even if they secretly don´t like me.

My question is: are there any DIAGNOSED Aspies that actually CAN READ body landuage? I stressed out the word "diagnosed" because ONLY THEN I can be sure that I am not imagining that I might have it, too. You know, I´ve been trying to find out my diagnosis for nearly 20 years. And after so much effort, I feel kinda desperate. So please, help me if you can. Thank you very much.


Quote:
My question is: are there any DIAGNOSED Aspies that actually CAN READ body landuage


Joe90 is one.

The problem here I've discovered is that reading body language isn't confined to just reading the eyes, gestures and, facial expressions; but it is understanding the language or the full meaning ( intentions)behind it.

That is the complete "non-verbal" definition in the diagnostic criteria. You can easily fool yourself and say: " I can read it, I can sense happy and sad (etc.) perfectly," but is it complete? This where the mind blindness( Theory of Mind) plays out. For example, someone may give you the look as " I think you are good looking" but this can go in many different directions as to the intention.



KnarlyDUDE09
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13 Oct 2012, 5:38 pm

I've learnt to read body language over time...being female, there sort of is a 'social pressure' that exists, and because I've always observed social situations rather than actually participate, I'm somewhat 'ok' at it; though, I'm not 'perfect at it for instance, I can't always tell whether someone wants to talk to me or is getting bored of a conversation.


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13 Oct 2012, 6:01 pm

I am pretty good at reading faces, but reading body language is a confusing area for me. I am not sure at all if I am reading body language correctly. I know the basics if someone is crossing their arms they are either cold or being defensive. I am just starting to learn how important body language is in reading someone's communication clearly. I know I can read the basic facial expressions and basic body language, it is the more detailed and complex body language I do not read. It is frustrating to me because I do not know exactly what body language I am misreading or misinterpreting or not even interpreting at all. Hmmm.... :?:

I suppose in the white collar culture of cut throat businessmen I imagine they play games and it would seem in this profession reading body language is a must.


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again_with_this
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13 Oct 2012, 6:15 pm

Mdyar wrote:
Joe90 is one.

The problem here I've discovered is that reading body language isn't confined to just reading the eyes, gestures and, facial expressions; but it is understanding the language or the full meaning ( intentions)behind it.

That is the complete "non-verbal" definition in the diagnostic criteria. You can easily fool yourself and say: " I can read it, I can sense happy and sad (etc.) perfectly," but is it complete? This where the mind blindness( Theory of Mind) plays out. For example, someone may give you the look as " I think you are good looking" but this can go in many different directions as to the intention.


Yeah, I believe it's a two-way street. Often I'll recognize how a person is feeling, but don't understand the WHY behind it OR I feel their reasoning doesn't justify their feelings.

Moreover, I've found that people often misread me. It's like we're speaking two different non-verbal languages. I've had people say, "wow, you're angry!" when I feel quite content. I've had people ask me why I'm feeling down when I'm really in a good mood.



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13 Oct 2012, 10:46 pm

Typical conversation with my wife following a social event:

Wife: "Did you notice all that tension between [person x] and [person y] today?"
Me: "Erm, well, no. Not really."
Wife: "Seriously?"
Me: "Didn't notice anything."

Like others have stated, if it is something overt and textbook like someone covering their mouth and leaning in (to listen to someone), I get it, but I think I must miss a lot of the subtle stuff.


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13 Oct 2012, 11:03 pm

Yes there definitely are...there's an ASD support group at my school and maybe half the people in it don't have a problem with body language and facial expression interpretation.

I keep thinking that I don't have problems with this......but then I get into trouble for not recognizing a particular non-verbal cue or not interpreting one correctly. Sometimes I get them right...it's kind of hit or miss for me........



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14 Oct 2012, 2:33 am

Yes, but absolutely not naturally.

Only after reading through many, many books and videos on it, and training my eyes to recognize what is in front of me, did things start working, at least a little.

But, it's ALL what I educated myself on. If there's something that's not been in the materials I've found, that neurotypicals "get," then I can't. Also, it's worth mentioning that I'm not done reading and I haven't trained my mind enough to always catch things, so it's only partial, at this point.

It's much like training yourself how to spot birds. I know that's not the best description, but I really can't think of a better analogy.

And, it's not something automatic. It never will be. If I don't remind myself to "tune in", then everything's blank and I'm 100% oblivious as I naturally am.

But, I do honestly think aspies CAN learn it. Had I been told I wasn't getting body language and was given the books I've read when I was 7 years old, I could have learned it. It's just a matter of education, which is why I really think we need to build a "toolkit" or an "Aspie's Owner's Manual" to give to kids when they're young. We're all bright enough to be able to learn it, if we know what to look for and train ourselves to "catch" things, over time.



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14 Oct 2012, 4:00 am

Thank you all for your replies.


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14 Oct 2012, 4:10 am

Yeah, I'm one of them. I can read body language by instinct. I even remember moments when I was a child when being able to read how someone was feeling by their body language. I can also read tone of voice and facial expressions aswell.

But if I was to sit at a screen doing some ''body language/facial expressions/voice tone'' test, I bet you I will get a 0. I just find it hard to test my instinct. It's like when I last asked an NT how she makes friends, and she looked at me and said, ''uh...I couldn't really tell you off-hand....it just comes naturally, it just happens...''


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24 Feb 2013, 4:05 am

Yes and no. I can read bits and pieces so to speak. Body language and some gestures but I am not able to read facial expressions naturally. Tone of voice and eye contact messages are a problem for me. I found out at age 28 people use body language to connect and relate to each other. I also had no idea the eyes were "the windows to the soul" as people communicate by reading peoples eyes.

Being a female most women use a lot of subtle body language and it confusees me and I will not read most of the signs and secrets. It's a secret language I don't understand. Most communication is over 90% non-verbal communication and Aspies only understand less than 10%.
People use facial expressions, gestures, eye contact messages and tone of voice to communicate I read a lot of items on body language on the internet. I have picked up a few cues in regards to body language but since it is not instinctive for me to read it I feel so far behind in regards to other people.



izzeme
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24 Feb 2013, 6:24 am

also, yes and no.
i cannot read the 'actual' body-language, but i have learned several skills that allow me to get the same meaning; albeit a bit slower.
that way, it appears that i do read bodylanguage, which then makes it harder for others to believe me if i am in a situation where my training fails me.



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24 Feb 2013, 8:50 am

Exactly where in the diagnostic criterias does it say that it is mandatory for Aspies to not be able to read body language?

Quote:
(I) Qualitative impairment in social interaction, as manifested by at least two of the following:

(A) marked impairments in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body posture, and gestures to regulate social interaction
(B) failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level
(C) a lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interest or achievements with other people, (e.g.. by a lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest to other people)
(D) lack of social or emotional reciprocity

(II) Restricted repetitive & stereotyped patterns of behavior, interests and activities, as manifested by at least one of the following:

(A) encompassing preoccupation with one or more stereotyped and restricted patterns of interest that is abnormal either in intensity or focus
(B) apparently inflexible adherence to specific, nonfunctional routines or rituals
(C) stereotyped and repetitive motor mannerisms (e.g. hand or finger flapping or twisting, or complex whole-body movements)
(D) persistent preoccupation with parts of objects


(III) The disturbance causes clinically significant impairments in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

(IV) There is no clinically significant general delay in language (E.G. single words used by age 2 years, communicative phrases used by age 3 years)

(V) There is no clinically significant delay in cognitive development or in the development of age-appropriate self help skills, adaptive behavior (other than in social interaction) and curiosity about the environment in childhood.

(VI) Criteria are not met for another specific Pervasive Developmental Disorder or Schizophrenia."


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MrKnowItAll
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24 Feb 2013, 3:28 pm

I can read people if I'm paying close attention. I don't know if any of it was ever intuitive. I do know that some of what I know came from connecting their expressions to their behaviors.



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24 Feb 2013, 5:47 pm

I've been diagnosed with ASD.

As a kid I was alright at reading others body language but on the other hand I was also a dunce at reading it. I was gullible often as well, I think since I couldn't realise others intentions.

Then I read every body language book under the sun and also pick up artist manuals, and it opened up a whole new world for me. In uni hot girls in my class I would talk to would comment that I never look at them.

Now I am better than NTs at reading others body language and intentions. And it has made everything WORSE!! Now I happen to notice every little movement and gesture in their whole body and I lose track of what is being said and as I try to look at their eyes everything becomes awkward and stupid!! !! Knowing what their body language means and what is expected in social interactions has made everything FAR FAR WORSE!! Since I can't respond fluidly and properly I'm always off, more than before because reading body language takes a huge chunk of executive function operations.

STAY AWAY FROM LEARNING BODY LANGUAGE IS MY ADVICE unless you have a powerful executive function