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Troy_Guther
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27 Apr 2013, 5:10 pm

One common theme here expressed here on site is confusion and frustration from NT's behavior in relation to us. The biggest cause of these issues is our difficulty with non-verbal communications, both in understanding others and in the signals we unwittingly send. However, we also run into trouble because we generally aren't really in tune with the relational power dynamics happening around us.

Personally, I don't really like the power dynamics inherent in society, and I usually try to avoid being a part of them whenever possible. I do, however, find them intensely fascinating to study. Now, I could type out a very long exposition in an effort to explain them, but I really don't want to expend the time and effort necessary to do so. Instead, I will link to this Cracked article ; I think it does a very good job of explaining the basics in an easy to read way. I hope you guys enjoy it!



JellyCat
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27 Apr 2013, 5:13 pm

Or maybe we have such issues because NTs put too much emphasis on non-verbal communication.


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Troy_Guther
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27 Apr 2013, 5:48 pm

JellyCat wrote:
Or maybe we have such issues because NTs put too much emphasis on non-verbal communication.


I did mention that in the first paragraph.



AgentPalpatine
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27 Apr 2013, 9:03 pm

Despite the source, that's not a bad article.


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JellyCat
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28 Apr 2013, 4:02 am

Troy_Guther wrote:
JellyCat wrote:
Or maybe we have such issues because NTs put too much emphasis on non-verbal communication.


I did mention that in the first paragraph.

I'm just saying..


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nessa238
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28 Apr 2013, 7:46 am

A good article that hits the nail right on the head.

I am generally wary of talking about things that might annoy the other person but you can't possibly know everything
that is likely to set people off

And people do the opposite too - they will often deliberately talk about stuff they know will make you feel on the back foot
eg talking about all the holidays, outings and visits they've been on - my aunt always does this - it's like a social oneupmanship thing but how much of a 'win' is it over a person with Aspergers ffs?! If I talk about something non social that I've done she barely registers it ie it doesn't count and if I talk about an outing I'm going on her face drops, as if I've scored a point! it's a pathetic game and I have no enjoyment in it as it's so boring! So someone went for a restaurent meal or went to a relative's birthday - what interesting substance is there in that?? All you can say is 'that's nice' - what else can be said?? Yet I can say something like 'I've set up a support group for people with Aspergers Syndrome' and she won't ask a single question about it - she's just not interested. People deliberately and quickly close down any topic they can't compete in - I've noticed that. People who aren't worth talking to that is!

When I told my Dad he said 'Well I suppose that's something'. So my achievements generally aren't rated in NT land so there's little point in talking about them.



AgentPalpatine
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28 Apr 2013, 9:42 am

JellyCat wrote:
Troy_Guther wrote:
JellyCat wrote:
Or maybe we have such issues because NTs put too much emphasis on non-verbal communication.


I did mention that in the first paragraph.

I'm just saying..


The non-verbal communication issue, which is well documented, is a huge issue. However, even past the communication issue (which I regularly note in my posts), there would be the status issues referenced by OP.

It's not a bad quick explanation of what really is one of the most exceedingly complex topics.


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nessa238
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28 Apr 2013, 9:46 am

It's not that complex in my opinion. In any interaction with another person they are either going to see themselves as better than you, equal to you or lower in status than you, and act accordingly and you will do the same.



AgentPalpatine
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28 Apr 2013, 10:23 am

Troy_Guther wrote:
I do, however, find them intensely fascinating to study.


With literally hundreds of variables when dealing with just a small group of people, even before adding work pressures, there are few things that are more complex.


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Our first challenge is to create an entire economic infrastructure, from top to bottom, out of whole cloth.
-CEO Nwabudike Morgan, "The Centauri Monopoly"
Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri (Firaxis Games)