I am a girl diagnosed with mild Asperger's???

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Why being a girl matters?

Four times more males than females are diagnosed on the spectrum as a whole.
Five times more males than females are diagnosed if you only look at Asperger's.

Females are not diagnosed with Asperger's only because of being female.

Personally, it took me almost a decade after a professional identified my case, to get the professional diagnosis. It would have taken about a month if I was male.

People mistreat me because I must be lying when I say I'm female and I have the interests I do, or that I'm autistic. The person who I am cannot be female. Rather than what I'd prefer of it not mattering at all, people will mistreat me until they're kicked out of chatrooms for it.

Does me being female matter? Sometimes. Because the lives of someone who is female with autism has some very distinctive patterns, of being treated in ways because of it.

We're a minority of a minority.

Being a minority matters.

I don't need to start every sentence with "I'm an autistic female and ...", but it sometimes makes a difference.

And in this case, it makes sense to say.

I cant seriously believe what im reading, you are saying that im sexist, because i want to try women the same way as i should be treated.

Im saying that women shouldnt believe they are special for the solely purpose of being a girl and practicing something is usually believe to be practice mainly by mans, and im sexist just for thinking that, suddenly my definition of sexism is wrong according to you.




You are assuming that most people where gender is not specified assume everyone is male, that is just fallacious is a hasty generalization,

Not because you think, everyone think that, is true, i dont assume anything in those anonymouse sites, im going there mostly to do logical debates or philosophical debates, and the less i can care is whether im talking to a girl or a guy, and im sure most people is like me, because everytime someone do the "Im a girl" thing, everyone just ignore her.



¿Common assumtions? ¿what is that?, ¿how do you know that males think girl who play games are rare?, that is just again a fallacious generalization, i know a lot of males, and we all think that girls who play game are as much as men, and most of those girl i know, think the same as me about going to a game or a social network, and say "Im a girl and im gamer,yes i do exist", even women think that is just a dumb thing to do.

Ok, you think that treating a girl who is probably doing something sexist, is sexist, yes i concur, im being a sexist here, that is why i asked that, i asked her about why it was important to point out she was a girl.

You are saying that women want to show that they play this game being a women, so people dont think they are invisible, and at the same time you are saying this is not a way to call attention, im sorry my brain is not working here, because i think is the same thing.

When you are in a game of "Counter Strike", ¿what is the point of saying "Im a girl and im killing all of you"?, no man is going all the time saying, "Im a man and killing you guys", now if you dont think this is sexist, i cant say nothing more to you, that go and read the definition of sexism.

Last thing is still wrong, you are still assuming, nothing is being showed out, you are defending something you dont even understand, i never said women cant speak as a women, you can read that i said that if she didnt used the "Girl card" in the title there was no problem, the thing is saying im a girl everywhere, that is the problem.

Last edited by rixxar12 on 11 Jun 2013, 4:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Ok, im part indigenous this is one of the minorities, there is even less indigenous people than autistic girl for a lot, that means that is ok if im going sometimes and say im indigenous and i play games instead of smoking some pot.

¿You are saying that because the people around you use stereotypes is ok to be sexist?, well i dont think so.

No, I'm saying that if people around you are stereotyping then it is okay to acknowledge the results of the stereotyping.

My life is harder because of the stereotyping. So are other autistic females lives.

It is not wrong for us to acknowledge this, and this is not being sexist.

Ok you are right, I apologize, what you just said is completely correct, I just failed to see your real point.

That is not what you are saying. That may be what you believe you are saying, but the practical outcome is you're complaining that women shouldn't identify themselves as women.



Go read Tuttle's post. Women don't say these things out of a belief that being a woman and doing something traditionally male is "special." Women say these things because the belief is that these things are traditionally male and are often assumed to not apply to women.

Your insistence that women are seeking attention or claiming to be ~special~ in some way by saying these things is sexist. Your insistence that women shouldn't identify themselves as women because you don't have to identify yourself as a man is sexist. Most people are just going to assume you're a man unless otherwise demonstrated. You are unlikely to find yourself in a situation where you will be assumed to be a woman because of pervasive stereotypes. You are unlikely to find yourself in a situation where who you are is erased and assumed to not exist because you are male. The same is not true for women, which is why it is relevant to say so.




It is neither fallacious nor is it a hasty generalization. It is what I have experienced after having participated on the internet for over two decades now. TVTropes even has a page for this:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/M ... heInternet



Because the internet is full of sexist men who think that a woman saying "I am a woman" is attention seeking, which is a sexist assumption.

If you didn't really care, why did you come in here and start complaining about it?



I didn't say that you had said that diagnosing a woman was the same difficulty as diagnosing a man. You're making a straw man because I never actually said the difficulty of diagnosis was different for either. What I had said is that it is harder for women and girls to get an autism spectrum diagnosis. This isn't because it is harder to diagnose women and girls, but because medical professionals are less likely to take women and girls who present with autistic symptoms seriously.

I find it interesting that you - as a male - are explaining to me - as someone who is not male - what my experiences online have been like, even though you have no idea what it's like to be a woman online and engaged in what are considered traditionally male hobbies and activities. I have been through the "You're just seeking attention" argument so many times already it's just exhausting.



Pay more attention to what you write:



Those are your words, where you wrote that it "is not relevant whether you are a girl or a guy ... only the diagnosis that is relevant."



I know that men think that women who play games are rare because I have been in numerous discussions in which men have stated outright that they believe women gamers are rare, that there are supposedly no women on the internet, that women just aren't wired to like games, that women who play games are some kind of aberration, and the list just goes on and on, ad nauseum.

Also, you are correct that some women also engage in sexist behavior. That doesn't make it right - it doesn't make you right - to do it. When I say some women engage in sexist behavior, I mean engaging in the "you're just attention seeking behavior, and being a woman is irrelevant" arguments, not your upside down definition of sexism that makes no sense at all where saying "I am a woman" is sexist.



Attention seeking is not the same thing as trying to be visible. Someone complaining about how women spend too much time declaring that they're women is "attention seeking." Someone who says, "Well, I'm a woman who play games" is saying "No, not all gamers are men and women who game matter."



I have written informal papers on sexism that are cited in university courses. I don't think I need a refresher course. The notion that saying "I am a woman and I play video games" is sexist is simply wrong. You need to look up what sexism is, because it definitely is not what you think. Women saying "I am a woman" is not sexist. Men saying "Why do you need to say you're a woman? Gender is irrelevant here" are sexist. Why? Because the impact of what you say, regardless of your actual or claimed intent, is "Your gender is irrelevant here."



I understand what you are saying better than you do, apparently. The fact that you are saying she used a "girl card" is another example of sexism. What does "girl card" even mean? What do you think the OP gets out of identifying herself as a woman? To me, she says so in the OP:



She wanted to compare her experiences with other autistic women. That is all. She wasn't looking for input as to whether it's okay for her to identify herself as a woman on the internet. That bit is none of your business.

Women saying they are women is not a problem. It is only a problem to guys like you who say that women should be silent so you don't have to notice them.

I rather wish I could have been this concise on this topic.

I have nothing to say here, you have to show me where im contradicting myself, with my own words.




You are again doing a strawman, Turtle is right about, to acknowledge the resulst of the stereotyping is ok.

But im talking about other situation here, im not talking about the situation.

Anonymous:Girls dont exist in the internet, the internet is full of dudes
Anonymous:Well im a girl, and im in the internet.

Im talking about this situation.

Girl:Im a girl and i do X,Y,Z, yeah and i exist.


I have been believed to be a women by people in some anonymous sites several times, because of the way i write, so your argument is incorrect.

Again you are still doing hasty generalization, because the people you know or you have around, assume you are man, that doesnt mean everyone or all people think everyone is male until proven otherwise, that is just old thing,maybe that happened in your old days, but right now, is not the same situation.





"tvtropes", nice page to show your point, that page does not have a scientific study that show your point, how im i going to assume you are correct, and that page is made by pseudo-feminist, "The internet was full of young nerds", that is stereotyping, they dont want stereotypes but they are using them, they dont want to be labeled and insulted, but they are doing it, that page is garbage.

There are not girls in the internet is a joke a catchphrase created as a "Rules of the internet" that was spread by a forum called Something Awfull and 4chan, and I was actually the day that phrase was spread through the internet, it was because a guy was creating videos of himself making other guys believe he was a girl so he could get money and equipments in a game, so we just said "lets spread this because all the girls in the internet are mostly neckbeard basement dwellers".

Now there is no relationship between girls being on internet or not, it was just a joke because some guys usually pretend to be women, your argument here went wrong, because i actually was present in the origin of the situation you are talking about.




Let me say something to you, when we are in an argument in those pages, It doesnt care whether you have a phd or a doctorate.

It doesnt care if i say that im studying a double major in actuarial sciences and physics.
It doesnt care if i say i have done several course of neuroscience,polymer engineering,aerospacial enginering,psychology,laws,etc.
It doesnt care how old am i(as long im in the age to enter in the page legally,usually 13 years).
It doesnt care if im a man or a woman.
The only thing that does care is my argument.

Now, when someone tries to say that he have a phd or a doctorate, he is doing an "Ad verecumdiam", the same holds for a women who says, im a women, that is not relevant there, we dont care if you are women or not, if your argument is correct, good job, you won, but not because you are a women, because of your brain, because of your knowledge, because of your intelligence.






¿You didnt said the diagnosis was more difficult for women?



Im sorry but you are again doing a strawman, i never said the diagnosis was different, i just repeated what you said, about being more difficult to diagnose a women, the word different was never wrote by me, go and search, stop doing strawmans.

And when you introduce your experiences as an argument is another fallacy, the anecdotal evidence, you are refuted.



"I have been in numerous discussions", Anecdotal evidence again, i have been in numerous recent discusion where we consider women playing games as much as mens, again the same joke "no women on the internet", dont use that as an argument that is just making you look wrong.

Now when a man or women say that women who play games are some kind of aberration, i would get out of there and never talk to that person for being so sexist and despicable, now you are just trying to make your anecdotal evidence look like an argument, not because you have been in discussion with 2 or 3 or x guys who are that sexist, doesnt mean we are all that way.




But why do a women want someone to know she is a woman playing games, when you are playing games it doesnt care whether you are a women or a men, the only difference is when the characters are sexless, but even there is irrelevant, the only way you need to show if you are a woman, is whether you already talked a lot with a person, but why do you come out of nowhere and said "Im a women", have you been in games where guys come to you saying "Im a guy".




Ad verecundiam, is not important whether you study in a top university, you hold 20 degrees and you have published papers, that doesnt change the definition of sexism, and you are still wrong, the "Woman" there is just not needed, tell me why is needed to say that you are a woman playing videogames, and excluded the stereotypes, tell me a good reason why you need to state that you are a woman.

¿Is relevant gender when you are in a discussion of a subject? Sometimes, when you introduce a point of view with your own experiences, but you dont come at the beggining of the debate and say "im a woman", when the time is right and you need to tell your story, that is the moment when you say that you are a woman, and there is nothing wrong there, the explain about being a woman was necessary.


Benevolent sexism:
an oxymoronic term, reflects evaluations of women that are seemingly positive.
Example
(c) women should be idolized by men for their sexual purity and availability.

The fact that you want to be seeing as a women doing something is believed usually mens do, is benevolent sexism.

If that doesnt fit in the criteria, then im reading wrong.

For example.
Women and videogames on wikipedia, long and extensive full of information.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Girl_gamer ... _gamers.22

Man and videogames, inexistant.



If this is not sexism then im really wrong about the definition of sexism, for some reason is more important women playing games, that men playing games.

Another proof of benevolent sexism is in norway.



Just because you are a woman in a "usual" degree studied by mens, you get 2 extra points, and that actually was refreshed to allow something for the males just a little a go, so it doesnt look that sexist, but is still one of the worst sexist situation i have ever seen.

Now tell me women dont want to show themselves as womens in some situations where is not needed, just to get attention and privilege.







You are not, go and read about benevolent sexism, maybe you forgot because you didnt have a discussion about sexism for a long time.





Yeah, it was perfectly fine in the firts reply, but not in the title, is redundant, put it on the title or in the reply but is not needed twice, we already know you are a girl, you dont have to repeat twice.

"Women saying they are women is not a problem. It is only a problem to guys like you who say that women should be silent so you don't have to notice them."


This is the worts strawman i have ever seen, and i have seen a lot of strawman by religious people that are very good, you are implying that i said women should just shut their mouth and dont say they are women, this is just horrendous, ¿how can you lie that bad?.

I said women should say they are women when is needed, and only needed, otherwise when is not necessary is just a call for attention.

Understand the difference between needed and not needed.

Last edited by rixxar12 on 12 Jun 2013, 10:47 am, edited 2 times in total.

OP,
the sis is aspie and what woud be termed 'mild',she is in her thirties and was misdiagnosed with social anxiety disorder around twenty because her doctor didnt believe girls had autism back then.
she has experienced a lot of rudeness off famly because they saw her as;exact words 'snobby,stuck up,thinking she is above everyone else',people confuse the academic inteligence of many high functioning autists with arrogance but thats probably more so because they have insecurities about their own,have personaly never felt like she was trying to 'one up'.

its purely stereotyping,doctors relie on an awful lot of it to make their diagnosis,some of us have multiple autistic labels due to meeting stereotypes associated with them,rather than them making a thorough assessment.
had honestly thought autism assessment had moved on from this.

At least where you live guys are diagnosed and they have problems with girls because is difficult.

Where i live, Asperger and High functioning autism are almost inexistant, you only get a oficial diagnosis if you have kanner autism(clasical autism).

Even worse, if you go there, they would diagnose you with psychotic attack or schizophrenia, in the best case they diagnose you with Mixed personality or Schizoid personality.

My parents had to pay a lot of privates and expensive psychiatrist to get my diagnosis, because the usual psychiatrist were telling all the time that i was just shy and that autistic persons dont even talk.