Getting worse as you get older?

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I know some people believe that AS gets "better" as you get older, and in some ways that's true for me because my symptoms are not as noticeable as they were when I was younger. But if I look past the symptoms at the way I actually feel, I've gotten worse. Because as I get older I increasingly understand how different I am from most NTs. My brother, who's eight years younger than me, has a closer relationship with my parents than I could ever dream of. More and more I find myself unable to connect with people to any non-superficial extent, and whenever I'm around people I increasingly feel like a sore thumb. Does anyone else feel worse with age?

I got worse. I even self-isolated myself (home school and everything) for the past 4 years. I'm 17 going on 18. I've always had a bad case but it got worse as I got older.

Edit;
But I'm happy with my life. Or at least I will be this coming school year when I'm back in school in special ed class.

Last edited by HopefulFlower on 24 Jul 2013, 4:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

Hmm for me it is more like up and downs, like most people I guess. It's also about your environment for a big part, not just yourself. My 'best period' was 14-18, but that was only because I was at a school with people with all kind of disorders. I loved that school. 12-13 was much worse at a ''NT school''. (you know what I mean )

18-19 was a bad period again, guess because I missed my daily routines at that school and the school itself. 19-22 was abit better. 22-25 was very good, had a job with open minded people. They didn't care I was sometimes different than them. 25-27 was by far my 'worst period'. That job ended and I couldn't keep my next jobs. More important I had the idea that people didn't accept me anymore. The difference between me and others became huge and no one knew why. (including myself)

At 27 I got diagnosed and not much later I ended up in social security. So I get money from the government and working is an extra, and no commitment anymore. This way I've got much more energy. So less downtime. I don't bother about the ones who don't accept me. It feels more and more like it's their problem and not mine

The last 4 years (27-31) were nice. Sometimes my life is boring, because of no job. But also much less downtimes, financially all ok. And I can do whatever I want! Things might change in the future, no one knows. But I don't think about that yet

Stims have mitigated, social isolation increased. Maybe it's just a reduction of metabolism & the misanthropy of aging.

As I got older I became increasingly intolerant about the irrational behaviour of others. AS might get "better" in the sense that one learns how to interact successfully with NTs, but it might get worse in the sense that one really does no longer see the point in doing so.

Better in that I am away from my family's neuroses, 'codes of privacy', anti-intellectualism and bizarre insecurities in terms of class / culture / gender, and in a better environment where I am autonomous and have some friends, worse in my actual symptoms and capacity to handle things / executive function. Also, people around me listen to me instead of talking over me.

Worse in that I can no longer handle the sensory input I used to, and that I don't have the energy I used to. Worse in terms of my physical health, and the differences in hygiene etc. standards in my current living situation. Worse in that I'm inured to having Change happen and it's constantly wearing me thin.

I've had ups and downs as well. Meltdowns got way worse when I hit puberty and my executive functioning and academic performance got better. My social skills began to improve in university when I was around people with similar interests and taking classes that included discussion of linguistics, body language and gender presentation. I was able to have more confidence in how I was presenting myself and explore an identity separate from my conservative upbringing which relieved some stress. However, half way through my undergrad I started developing food sensitivities and my sensory sensitivities increased. I crashed and dropped out. Went back the next year and finished off my BA and things have been really up and down since. My meltdowns have improved as I am more aware of triggers but the sensory stuff is still worse than it was when I was a chid. My executive functioning is all over the map depending on how much overload I am experiencing.

It could seem to get worse, the more aware of the symptoms and possibly with age and mental health. Plus it only seems to get better when taking the necessary steps to improve or treat the issues.

Eh... Disabilities can't be cured, but intervention may seem to cure it, yet it will always be there.

I honestly couldn't say that my development has had a strictly linear "worse to better" progression. I've kind of zig-zagged all over the place. If I had to generalize, I'd say that I experience regressions after major changes in my life. There was a sudden and extremely tumultuous change of custody when I was 10, and afterward, I frequently had nervous breakdowns. Another change of custody at 12, and it took me the better part of two years to adjust and start building something resembling a healthy social life. Then I moved towns and started college a few years ago, and I still haven't really adapted. I have no real social life to speak of here, and while my studies are enough to keep me reasonably preoccupied during the school year, the lack of anyone in my life to really confide in has been taking its toll, and that gaping void sits right out in the open during the summer months.

Your first WP post! I've noticed the same thing.

All throughout high school and college I was trying to figure myself out. Always felt that I was different but couldn't put my finger on what it was, and I didn't think about it too much. I basically tried really hard to fit in and be "normal". Now I don't give a single f***, and embrace who I am.

stims increased slightly

isolation increased dramatically

already poor eye contact went down the hole since i had no need to practice it inside my house

much less routine oriented, though... maybe because i keep to myself in relatively controlled environments so less need to be rigid?

am more of a hermit.

A lot of my symptoms have improved with age: my meltdowns are less severe, my eye contact has gotten better, and I think that my social skills must have improved tremendously because the way that other people treat me has changed a lot compared to when I was younger. When I was younger I was either bullied or ostracized by most people, especially my own age or younger. But now it seems that wherever I go, people of all ages are instantly drawn to my personality and are eager to make friends with me. Even my young nieces and nephews, who used to shy away from me and hide behind their parents, now seem genuinely happy to see me and enjoy interacting with me.

However, I find connecting with people on a deeper level beyond acquaintances/casual friendship to be uncomfortable and intimidating, and I often start avoiding people when I feel that I am becoming too close to them.

I also care a lot more what people think of me, or more specifically, my special interests. I don't want to be obsessed with something that other people can make fun of me for, which I know is ridiculous because there will always be someone out there who hates something you love, no matter what it is. I'm not sure exactly when this started becoming a major issue for me, but I do know that I used to be a lot more confident in my special interests than I am now.

Thank you for the replies, everyone.

IdahoRose and shortcircuit3, my situation is similar because my social isolation has increased as well. And I don't feel like I can do anything about it because social interaction has become so draining and awkward.

I'm more depressed than I was when I was younger. I also withdraw more because I put more energy into masking my symptoms. My stims have also changed. I used to blurt out random phrases, but now I like to run around and pace. They're both annoying and noticeable, but at least I can keep my thoughts private now.

Me too!

As I get older, on an emotional level...I feel better. I'm not as emotional and reactive. Not as hard on myself. Can think clearer, but I increasingly become more and more of a hermit.

Basically, my situation gets worse, but I feel better about it. It's kind of messed up.