Are your Aspie/Autistic traits suppressed around others?

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Wags
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03 Oct 2013, 7:35 pm

If so, how many traits are suppressed? Whom do you act "yourself" around? For me, only my parents. I Act really strange around them and don't hide my traits at all, when I'm around others I attempt to act normal, which works somewhat but it always shows a little when they try to talk to me.

Would be glad to have your input.


I would like to add that I don't actually show everything when I'm with my parents, just a lot
More than I would with others. All my traits are exposed when I'm alone.



Derpy
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03 Oct 2013, 8:26 pm

Hi

As I have mentioned in other threads, I have to try to suppress my odd behavior at work and also in some social situations.When I say odd behavior I mean things like saying my thoughts out loud (talking to myself from their perspective) and going into world of my own and staring into space are my main issues.

When I'm at home on my own I can be myself more and do whatever because I know nobody's looking.Sometimes I stop and think to myself 'if somebody could see me now they'd think I was mental' lol. :) I just see it as part of being me.



LastSanityJermaine
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03 Oct 2013, 8:27 pm

Outside of home, a lot otherwise at home I'm in full power talking out loud to myself, running around, stimming as much as I want, etc etc
Usually out doors I just become anti social, I don't give people high fives/handshakes or very limp ones, I may unintentionally ignore people



LilythMoon
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03 Oct 2013, 8:50 pm

all the time, i try to avoid people as much as i can. My husband does his best to understand, he finds it hard sometimes but hes the only person in my life who i can be myself around


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syndragon
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03 Oct 2013, 9:12 pm

LilythMoon wrote:
all the time, i try to avoid people as much as i can. My husband does his best to understand, he finds it hard sometimes but hes the only person in my life who i can be myself around


glad you found someone.
im still a deep lonely creature wandering around trying to find a minimum source of light and comfort.


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LilythMoon
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03 Oct 2013, 9:21 pm

Its hard, lots of times we've been about to divorce, but the fight is worth it. There are times where I feel just as lonely before. I think that is part of being aspie. You will find someone, it happens out of the blue, it could happen tomorrow or the next day!


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zxy8
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03 Oct 2013, 9:23 pm

I'm 100% me wherever I go. Although unless I tell people, they don't have an idea that I have Aspergers. Well except the one person years ago who first thought I might have it (when I didn't know I may).



ExceladonCity
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03 Oct 2013, 11:44 pm

I've kept mine severely suppressed for a long time. Constantly being around people (as a server) and meeting new people at that, made it really hard to get those urges out. I would occasionally act out at home, but it's something I tried to phase out because I didn't know how to explain it to people. I still blurt out thoughts and such, but I try to keep my shadowboxing and attack calling to a minimal unless I'm at home. Now, I tap and drum on tables and beatbox as an alternative. Recently just got hooked on playing the Stylophone, so that is a positive outlet for my noise making. lol



redrobin62
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03 Oct 2013, 11:59 pm

Yeah. When I go out I put on my NT act. If I get comfortable enough around people then the real me starts coming out: referring to myself in the 3rd person, using quirky sayings which I call Robinisms, etc.



Callista
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04 Oct 2013, 12:17 am

I don't bother to suppress most of them. If I did, I wouldn't be able to function because I'd be doing nothing but monitoring and suppressing stims, correcting behavior, etc. etc.


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SplinterStar
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04 Oct 2013, 12:22 am

I lie through my teeth and pretend to enjoy things others enjoy but if I'm going to see them on an almost daily basis for longer then 5 minutes I start being honest. I'm subscribed to national geographic and sometimes I nerd out on the mail man who also likes national geographic while hes delivering one. I don't lie to my mom either, shes knows I listen to instrumental music that's 100 years old, and still play video games, and a crap ton of other things that might terrify a normal person. I used to think being honest would get me friends but it's total crap. Lying to get friends works great but then the lies start accumulating and you lose track, then they find out your a nerd. Then there running away so fast they break the sound barrier. God I get lonely sometimes. At least my cat loves me.



Callista
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04 Oct 2013, 12:35 am

I think if you lied to get friends, they wouldn't be friends because they would make friends with the lies instead of with you.

Finding other nerds sounds like a much better alternative.


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jk1
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04 Oct 2013, 12:50 am

I don't even know what in my behavior is weird. So I don't know what I need to suppress to appear normal. That must be why I'm always disliked and laughed about wherever I go. Strangely enough my psychologist told me in diagnosing me that he didn't find anything odd in my behavior. I was very surprised to hear that.



Skilpadde
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04 Oct 2013, 1:08 am

Of course.

I never stim around anyone, at least not beyond annoying but more acceptable finger drumming and clicking a pen. I've always had an innate understanding that it's something to hide. I don't let anyone see that. I find it very easy to avoid doing.
I've never talked to myself,
As I keep practicing I find it less hard to make eye contact and I don't really feel that bad about it now. Now the main thing for me is to remember to not go back to my natural inclination of looking down or away. That's one trait improving.

When I'm all alone I sometimes stim badly, but I often try to cool it or avoid it altogether as it's good practice. Better to try to unlearn it than forget myself at the worst possible time. Better to try to find more acceptable outlets.

Derpy wrote:
going into world of my own and staring into space

I do that quite a lot. That's a hard one to shake.


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MaxBlack
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04 Oct 2013, 4:03 am

Present tense, I'm mainly only myself when at my own home and in the car, after many years of seeing that a lot of people are not understanding of my predisposition. But over time I'm starting to care less when out in public it's not my fault the way I am and don't get all the great indirect social cues etc, I find it so much easier of a journey when outside. I will flap, stim , tic and be more open than I used to. I say F'em it's my life my world I live in, Still I'm very polite, honest and will help anyone in need but can come across Rude , unhelpful , antisocial,
arrogant etc.



ASPartOfMe
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04 Oct 2013, 4:36 am

I was actually thinking of starting thread about this on the adult life section.

I have been consciously forcing myself to do NT things like eye contact for so long that at times it seems almost natural. At times I wonder if what I am doing is the real me or the coping/acting me. When I am here I have to remind myself be more literal!! !

As you would expect when I am tired or stressed the suppression efforts falter.

Multitasking still flusters the heck out of me. I very very rarely meltdown but that is when they occur or come close to occurring.


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Last edited by ASPartOfMe on 05 Oct 2013, 4:53 am, edited 1 time in total.