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opal
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21 Oct 2013, 3:14 am

auntblabby wrote:
hyksos55 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
hyksos55 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
I have been told by multiple people that I remind them of a serial killer. :oops:


Do these “multiple people” know many serial killers to be able to make such an assessment?

kinda doubt it, but it stung just the same. :(


I'm sure it did, they were wrong for saying it, even if it was in jest.

it was not in jest.


Ted Bundy was the opposite of the serial killer stereotype of quiet, loner.. He was very charming, sociable and good looking.

I have toyed with getting this Tshirt, as I am a quiet loner and probably do fit that stereotype. . Yes, I can have a sick sense of humour. Sorry to all the people I'm about to offend with my self-deprecating humour.
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Sophist
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21 Oct 2013, 10:07 am

Truthfully, there's been some serial killers or mass murderers who seem to fit the profile of autism. But there's seems to be many more who are definitively not ASC.

But, honestly, it's not the autism that's the problem; it's general family dysfunction and having a f****d up life. It's people feeling disconnected, hurt, angry-- so hurt and angry they want to take it out on the world.

Most of the killers I've read about (I had a criminology obsession about 10 years ago) were abused, some horribly, others maybe more subtly. But all had f****d up families. Even Dahmer who seemed somewhat aspie was the "forgotten child" and was emotionally neglected.

I definitely don't think it's autism. It's dysfunctional family life, even though not every abused kid goes on to such crimes. But imo that's usually at the root of most of our destructive behaviors.


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ritualdrama
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23 Oct 2013, 7:02 pm

Sophist wrote:
Truthfully, there's been some serial killers or mass murderers who seem to fit the profile of autism. But there's seems to be many more who are definitively not ASC.

But, honestly, it's not the autism that's the problem; it's general family dysfunction and having a f**** up life. It's people feeling disconnected, hurt, angry-- so hurt and angry they want to take it out on the world.

Most of the killers I've read about (I had a criminology obsession about 10 years ago) were abused, some horribly, others maybe more subtly. But all had f**** up families. Even Dahmer who seemed somewhat aspie was the "forgotten child" and was emotionally neglected.

I definitely don't think it's autism. It's dysfunctional family life, even though not every abused kid goes on to such crimes. But imo that's usually at the root of most of our destructive behaviors.


I agree. I have also noticed that there's always a crucial aspect of who they are which has been suppressed and comes out in other ways.



andrewlavigne
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23 Oct 2013, 8:31 pm

hyksos55 wrote:
ASPartOfMe wrote:
Even before I was diagnosed and knew about Aspergers every time they described the killer as nice guy, a little off, a loner, quiet etc I wondered if people would wonder about me because I fit the description.


Love how the media and authorities say “He was a loner.” Without distinguishing the difference between somebody who wants to be alone and somebody no one wants to be around.


I'm starting to think I'm more of the latter than the former.



auntblabby
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23 Oct 2013, 8:32 pm

i want to be around people who want me around them. the tough part is making that happen, finding people who want to be around me.



andrewlavigne
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23 Oct 2013, 8:40 pm

auntblabby wrote:
i want to be around people who want me around them. the tough part is making that happen, finding people who want to be around me.


Yeah, it's finding people you like who also like you. I'm not sure which part is harder. I don't like many people, but then not many seem to like me either. I'll put my rudimentary math skills to work: Say that I like 5% of people I meet, and I would actually like to spend time with 10% of them. Now assume that the same percentage of people likes me and wants to be around me. That's 0.005 x 0.005, which is 0.000025, or one quarter of one thousandth of a percentage point of people. That's 182, 500 people in the world with the sort of social coincidence of wants I'm looking for. Canada has about 0.41% of the world's population, so about 748 people in Canada. Since presumably I'm one of those people, that's 747 people in Canada. I'm glad it's such a small country...

Sad math.



auntblabby
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23 Oct 2013, 9:07 pm

andrewlavigne wrote:
Sad math.

yes, the numbers are not on our side.



andrewlavigne
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23 Oct 2013, 9:15 pm

auntblabby wrote:
yes, the numbers are not on our side.


The worst part is that people seem to assume that if you are a quiet person who's always on his/her own, then you couldn't possibly be interesting. I think what hurts most is that I know myself to be more interesting and intelligent than most of the people I hear blabbing on at school and work, but the only way you'd know it is if you decided to talk to me. That happens about once ever ten years, and it overloads my circuits and I go from "interesting and intelligent" to "way too intense" in a matter of days.



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23 Oct 2013, 9:17 pm

andrewlavigne wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
yes, the numbers are not on our side.


The worst part is that people seem to assume that if you are a quiet person who's always on his/her own, then you couldn't possibly be interesting. I think what hurts most is that I know myself to be more interesting and intelligent than most of the people I hear blabbing on at school and work, but the only way you'd know it is if you decided to talk to me. That happens about once ever ten years, and it overloads my circuits and I go from "interesting and intelligent" to "way too intense" in a matter of days.

learn to like the reflection you see in the mirror, and the importance once places on the esteem other humans place on one will recede.



andrewlavigne
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23 Oct 2013, 9:21 pm

auntblabby wrote:
andrewlavigne wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
yes, the numbers are not on our side.


The worst part is that people seem to assume that if you are a quiet person who's always on his/her own, then you couldn't possibly be interesting. I think what hurts most is that I know myself to be more interesting and intelligent than most of the people I hear blabbing on at school and work, but the only way you'd know it is if you decided to talk to me. That happens about once ever ten years, and it overloads my circuits and I go from "interesting and intelligent" to "way too intense" in a matter of days.

learn to like the reflection you see in the mirror, and the importance once places on the esteem other humans place on one will recede.


That's a nice thought, though one that's hard to take to heart in depressive times like these. But to clarify, the esteem of others isn't so much what I'm after so much as the esteem of one (preferably female) person. Despite my aversion to marriage, I think what I really need is a wife. Beyond that one strong, meaningful relationship I want, I don't have much need for others. I mean, my family and my friend are important too, but they're not going to stop the loneliness for more than a few minutes at a time.



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23 Oct 2013, 11:19 pm

andrewlavigne wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
i want to be around people who want me around them. the tough part is making that happen, finding people who want to be around me.


Yeah, it's finding people you like who also like you. I'm not sure which part is harder. I don't like many people, but then not many seem to like me either. I'll put my rudimentary math skills to work: Say that I like 5% of people I meet, and I would actually like to spend time with 10% of them. Now assume that the same percentage of people likes me and wants to be around me. That's 0.005 x 0.005, which is 0.000025, or one quarter of one thousandth of a percentage point of people. That's 182, 500 people in the world with the sort of social coincidence of wants I'm looking for. Canada has about 0.41% of the world's population, so about 748 people in Canada. Since presumably I'm one of those people, that's 747 people in Canada. I'm glad it's such a small country...

Sad math.


In the case that both groups exists...
Most of the time those two groups overlapp highly


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ritualdrama
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05 Nov 2013, 2:27 am

andrewlavigne wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
yes, the numbers are not on our side.


The worst part is that people seem to assume that if you are a quiet person who's always on his/her own, then you couldn't possibly be interesting. I think what hurts most is that I know myself to be more interesting and intelligent than most of the people I hear blabbing on at school and work, but the only way you'd know it is if you decided to talk to me. That happens about once ever ten years, and it overloads my circuits and I go from "interesting and intelligent" to "way too intense" in a matter of days.


Same here. I always think to myself that I should talk more, but I never do.



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05 Nov 2013, 8:15 am

hyksos55 wrote:
ASPartOfMe wrote:
Even before I was diagnosed and knew about Aspergers every time they described the killer as nice guy, a little off, a loner, quiet etc I wondered if people would wonder about me because I fit the description.


Love how the media and authorities say “He was a loner.” Without distinguishing the difference between somebody who wants to be alone and somebody no one wants to be around.

The media just hates all loners. Most of them probably used to beat up loners back in high school for no reason, and their attitudes just never changed. They probably don't really think that loners are bad people, they just enjoy being a**holes. They're no different from typical school bullies, just like pretty much everyone else who says bad things about people on the spectrum. The stuff they say on the news is just their way of saying "f*** you" to every outcast who doesn't have many friends and gets bullied by other people. I wish I had someway of saying "f*** you" back to them. They're in need of a good a**-kicking.



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05 Nov 2013, 8:55 am

well they do have a point. Now I know why I lure people into the wilderness all the time in Runescape, and I end up killing them and taking their stuff. It must be because of my Aspergers diagnoses.