Terminology, correct words to use, I need help

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Hi there,

My boy is currently undergoing diagnosis, though it's pretty clearly aspergers.

I need help knowing how to refer to things, as my reading here indicates the power of the words chosen.

From what I have gathered - someone IS austistic, but they HAVE Aspergers? But you can BE and Aspie? Not Aspergic... And now that the DSM has changed, he would have ASD, but IS austistic? Not has autism?

Urgh. I am nureotypical, but have a little obsession with getting these things right. In my experience it can change how someone sees themself, and when I talk to my son, I want to start off on correct path.

Any help is much appreciated!

Autistic person and person with autism are both correct.
It is up to the person to decide whether they want to use person first (person with autism) or identity first (autistic person) language.

according to the person first terminology of my social work profession, i have autism, i am a person with autism. according to the identity first terminology often preferred by the autistic community, i am autistic. so it's whatever the person who is affected is comfortable with.

aspergers is accepted as a form of autism

An aspie is a term of endearment for someone with aspergers. So you saying 'my son is an aspie' would be a way of saying you embrace the fact that he has aspergers

Saying 'this person has autism' shows you put the person first, not the diagnosis

I hope I answered what you were asking

You are overthinking it. Say what makes you comfortable. I say I have AS. I think of it as a disorder. Then again, I'm 50 and got dx'd in my 40's. One thing that I had to learn was to be true to yourself and say things like you want to. You know what you mean by it, it doesn't matter if others do or not. Yes, I'm sure *some people* here won't, but they aren't the representative of us. Don't be all oversensitive. That's what I had to learn, even as an aspie. Grow a pair. You CAN do it!

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Haha, thanks for all the replies. Im not worried about how other people refer to him, but mostly how he thinks of himself (and what we his family say). From what you have all said, it looks like he will decide whether wants to be an Aspie, or someone who has aspergers/ASD. He has always insisted he be called his proper name (no nick names, no shortenings), so I expect he will decide and that will be that!

I don't think many of us consider if offensive that we are autistic. Sure, sometimes autistic traits are "bad", but not overall autism. Of course, there might be some who disagree.

Depending on how old your son is, I would just ask him what he prefers. Essentially, they mean the same thing. Neither is worse than the other (to me). If one day he says he prefers something else, go with that. Until then, just say whatever you're comfortable with. I wasn't diagnosed until my adult years, so saying I'm autistic is better for me, because I'm finally relieved to know what was causing all of the problems in my life.

Then again, I also have Bipolar disorder, yet I say, "I'm Bipolar." People have told me not to say that because "You are not your illness", yet with autism, it's literally a part of almost everything I do.

It sounds like your son is formal if he prefers to be called his "proper name". This might indicate he would be able to make his own preference.

If it helps, I'm 69, and was diagnosed as having Asperger's Syndrome at age 49. That name applied to the condition that Hans Asperger catalogued in 1943 in Austria. I was born in 1945 in the UK. The UK was at war with Austria so we knew nothing about Hans Asperger cataloguing the condition. But he called it Autistic Psychopathy. I was born into a long standing, royally-bred, blood-line of savants. So at Nursery School I was called a Savant. A year later, due to having a meltdown in a distant holiday resort, I was diagnosed by a doctor as having Childhood Autism. In Infants School therefore I was called an Autistic Savant. In my teens, I had a severe head injury when at Grammar School, and lost my memory and personal identity, and was diagnosed as having Autistic Psychopathy. Due to a nervous breakdown when I was 49, I needed psychiatric intervention by hypno-regression therapy. I did not at that time remember I had Savantism, Childhood Autism, Childhood Savantism and Autistic Psychopathy. But the diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome made sense as it explained my bizarre background, infancy, childhood, teens and adult life to that age. I have written four autobiographical books about "My Life of Autism and Asperger's Syndrome". This is because the United Nations World Health Organisation International Classification of Diseases treats these as separate, even though it includes Autistic Psychopathy as being a name for Asperger's Syndrome. The American Psychiatric Association no longer uses the label and characteristic diagnosis for Asperger's Syndrome, but lumps the condition under the bucket label Autism Spectrum Disorder. I have noticed the word Autism throws up more Google Alerts than the word Asperger so I think the American Psychiatric Association has done me a favour by broadening the base of the literature I can read about my condition, whether I call it Autism or Asperger's - but my name is Adrian, not Autism or Asperger's - that matters most to me.

Wow, what an amazing life! I'll have to look up savant though.

Bleh - yes, I expect he will be able to choose for himself eventually. 6 seems so young, but if he understands something he tends to understand it very well. I just need to get better at communicating in a way that makes sense to him. This forum has been so helpful.

you're refering to the demands of a minority of aspies/auties who who make a big deal out saying "Im a person with autism, not an autistic. Autism is something I have, not my identity".

Dont worry about that.

Either way is okay.

Your family will evolve whatever nomenclature that you all are comfortable with. Dont over think it.

And frankly: the demand to be called "a person with autism" rather than "an autistic" makes no sense anyway. A) Its distinction without a difference, B) it takes longer to say "I am a person with aspergers" than to just "I'm an aspie", and C) if you're on the autism spectrum you're destined to be labeled labels anyway (like 'ret*d' and 'wierdo' etc). Much worse labels. So its pointless and misguided to make an issue out of that distinction anyway.