Dealing with out of place objects/people

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Raleigh
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27 Oct 2014, 4:20 pm

Does this happen to anyone else?
I have a difficult time when things are out of their proper place. This extends to people also.
Yesterday, a lady who had retired a few years ago came into work. I really like this person, but because they were at work, and they weren't supposed to be at work because they were retired, I found her presence there really hard to deal with.
Basically I ignored her and stimmed the whole time while the others flocked around her to 'catch up'. It was only as she was leaving that I was able to say hello.
If I saw this person in the street I would have no trouble saying hello. Seeing her at work somehow meant the whole universe was out of alignment.


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Campin_Cat
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27 Oct 2014, 4:33 pm

Yep, I totally know what you mean. When I was reading the first bit about the lady, I was thinking to myself: "But, if I saw her outSIDE of work, I'd be okay", and then you said the very same thing!!

I'm thinking it might have something to do with we Aspies not being very good at changing gears. Your brain had categorized her as not being seen at work, any longer. When she came-in, your brain had to change gears to her being seen at work.



LookingLost
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27 Oct 2014, 6:08 pm

Yup, definitely.

Thinking of examples from today, I was coming back from walking my dog and met two people I know in the street and it made things really weird. Don't know whether that's exactly what you mean or not.
Might've had a similar thing to that lady coming into your work when I was at an autism drop-in center and this ex-staff member who had left to give birth came in with a baby, and wasn't used to her being there or babies being there so everyone else crowded round but I just froze and stared at the ground for about two hours.


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Luzhin
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27 Oct 2014, 6:29 pm

Yes, things need to be where they are supposed to be. It causes me great anxiety to see something moved from where I know it to be. I have been trying for years to get this across to the people I deal with but they just don't seem to get it...or maybe they just don't care?

People also need to be in the environment where I expect them to be (office, school, church, etc.) because outside of their normal place I tend not to recognize them. I realize I know them but can't quite figure out who they are if they are 'out of place'.



Campin_Cat
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28 Oct 2014, 9:15 am

Luzhin wrote:
People also need to be in the environment where I expect them to be (office, school, church, etc.) because outside of their normal place I tend not to recognize them. I realize I know them but can't quite figure out who they are if they are 'out of place'.

Yeah, I'm that way, too. I've read on here that that's called "face blindness".



Also, I didn't really address the other part of the OP's question of having problems when THINGS are out of place. This bothers me, also. Like, if I go into someone's office everyday, and every day their stapler is in the same place, then all-of-a-sudden, it's NOT and I go into the office, I immediately notice it and have a hard time listening to what the person is saying, because the whole time I'm thinking: "why don't you put your stapler back where it belongs". I've really had to work HARD to stop doing this.




olympiadis
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28 Oct 2014, 11:08 am

Yes, I can tell if any little thing is out of place. It has to be a real thing though.
If it's an imaginary thing, then I don't keep track of it because it never really had a place.



Raleigh
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28 Oct 2014, 3:21 pm

I returned from leave mid-year to find the entire staff room had been rearranged in my absence. The shock was so great I had a meltdown when I walked through the door. I still feel out of place 3 months later.


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nyxjord
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29 Oct 2014, 11:57 am

So many yesses!! !! I can't tell you how many times I have recognized someone (while out shopping etc) but not figured out how the heck I know them! Sometimes my brain can make that leap and then other times I am still left wondering days or weeks later where I know that person from LOL!


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dianthus
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29 Oct 2014, 12:07 pm

Luzhin wrote:
People also need to be in the environment where I expect them to be (office, school, church, etc.) because outside of their normal place I tend not to recognize them. I realize I know them but can't quite figure out who they are if they are 'out of place'.


Same for me. And even when I realize who they are, and where I know them from, I may still find it hard to interact with them. I don't have a "script" ready in mind so I just don't know what to say to them.



EzraS
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29 Oct 2014, 1:47 pm

This happens to me. Either I don't recognize them or I get messed up. Just a couple of days ago I was at the local mall and one of my teachers was there and came up and said hi. I didn't like it at all. This was the mall, not school. Also the other day my mom used her hair dryer in the kitchen for whatever reason and left it on the counter which bothered me. It belongs in their bathroom, not on the kitchen counter.

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eggheadjr
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29 Oct 2014, 1:51 pm

Oh yes - I strongly feel that everything and everyone in the universe has its proper place. When things appear out-of-place to me it's very disconcerting.


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kraftiekortie
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29 Oct 2014, 7:25 pm

Sometimes, I don't recognize people out of their usual contexts. This is especially true if the person wears a uniform within the usual context, then appears in street clothes in another context.

As for things being in an "out of the way" place. I feel disconcerted at first--but I realize that I must adjust to the situation.

If a room is redecorated when I am gone, I feel disconcerted for a while.

I don't like it when people "take a house apart" when cleaning it. It makes me extremely anxious, and I'd probably have to completely withdraw from the area.



zer0netgain
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30 Oct 2014, 4:38 am

I'm not sure. I see it more about being used to a routine and something that disrupts that causes issues.

Lady I'm temping for came to work with her newborn to show it off. There were other emotional issues related to this to consider, but I found it very distracting to try and work knowing this was the first we heard from her since she left to have her baby.