Autistic Parent- NT Child(ren)?

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I see lots of posts from NT parents with kids on the spectrum, but I've not heard anything from parents on the spectrum with NT kids. Does that happen very often? Is parenting usually awkward when it does happen that way? I'm on the spectrum- but my son is remarkably like most of the rest of my family- loud, extroverted, and NT.

Did anyone else have those awkward moments parenting NT children- when your child drags half the neighborhood home to "hang out," or worse, when you have to go to school functions or meet up with other kids' parents? I find I enjoy parenting a lot more now that my son is almost 24. I don't know how I got through the whole infant/toddler/small child thing, let alone dealing with him when the Puberty Demon hit.

The story continues well- he's potty trained, literate and gainfully employed with a child of his own, but it was a real adventure getting him to that point.

Just curious. Anyone out there trying to deal with NT kids?

I would love to bring up an NT kid. So many people take for granted that their kids are going to be "normal", and I want to be one of those.

I like normality. I feel depressed each time I think about how lonely I was as a teenager, and how I was never invited to sleepovers, and often felt left out. It breaks my heart, and I don't think I want to see my own child suffering the same, as that would break my heart even more. Plus children with disabilities have more chance of getting bullied and being shunned by their peers. I don't want to raise an Aspie (or other disability) child into this world.

And as for having a child with a more severe form of Autism is a no-no. Especially one that constantly hits himself and there's nothing you can do except make him wear a padded helmet. And you have to keep making extra allowances when having a family day out, just to avoid a huge meltdown over something like his food not being served on the plate the way he has to have it.

Seriously, I've seen some of those YouTube videos of Autistic children and teenagers, and I don't think I would be able to handle the humiliation.
NT children generally turn out the way you have brought them up (and also influence from their peers, but that's just normal), and my partner is NT, and I know how to bond with an NT, you know. I'm very close to my mum. There is no rule that NTs and Aspies are "opposites" and "incompatible". I know an Aspie man who had 3 NT kids (all grown up now), and they've all turned out ok, and he is a good father to them.

I have ASD parents (definitely my dad, my mom probably too but as she is female or milder than he and I am not an expert I can't say for sure on her) and I am like in-between ASD and NT. My oldest daughter has traits of ASD and my younger child is straight-up sensory-seeking, probably going to be ADHD but very NT. She could charm the socks off a crocodile and can be very manipulative. My younger sister is very literal, does not pick up on hints, is overly outgoing but has a lot of difficulty maintaining social relationships and does not exercise tact. She is easily overwhelmed, easily frustrated and has had difficulties keeping jobs because of this. However, she has always been more socially outgoing than I am and growing up seemed to think she was in competition with me over how many more friends she had than me. I can really only do one at a time. She is extroverted but lacks a lot of the skills and the ability or intellectual choice to learn or know when things are okay and not okay.

It has been a stretch for me with my mostly NT kids. The amount of physical affection they need and the amount of attention they need and the amount of movement and noise they make has gotten more and more difficult for me as they've gotten older. I am very good with babies and young children, but I wear out from talking and being talked to and so as they have gotten older and are talking more and more and need more of that talking and analyzing everything talking, it's gotten extremely draining. I almost constantly feel like I am failing. Everyone says I am not but I feel that way. I think all kids need praise and affirmation and compliments, but I think NT kids really thrive on it; I think this goes back to the social reciprocity thing. I also think they really thrive on that physical affection stuff.

I don't know why an autistic teen would be humiliating other than a parent being embarrassed at the shyness or standoffishness of their kid because people do tend to think the parents are doing something wrong if the kid is so clammed up. And even then, I think I'd be more embarrass by an NT teen being belligerent and disrespectful and stupid than an ASD kid being shy, saying something wrong, or stimming.

I was afraid of having kids myself because my traits are strong enough to have caused me enough pain and agony and I had seen the life my father was leading (being rejected, having so many mental and emotional problems and social problems) and knew that I had a very diluted (like watered-down not deluded) version of whatever he had and just what I had was excruciating to live with. I was scared my kids would be like me and I didn't want them to hurt like me. I got pregnant unexpectedly and I was so depressed and so terrified the child would be like me or worse that it fueled my post-partum and major depression and I was in a hospital for three weeks a few months after she was born.

I just have Asperger traits. My problem as a parent was being too blunt (life is difficult, life beats you up) and frequently not knowing how to comfort. My daughter would say "This is the part where you say..." everything is going to be alright, etc.

I have two teenage daughters. While both have numerous autistic traits, I am fairly certain that -- like their mother -- both are NT.

I suppose I was fortunate that both of them were quite introverted. As such, I didn’t have to worry about having “half the neighborhood home to ‘hang out’”.

I was also fortunate that neither of my teenage daughters were interested in boys. My older daughter had one date before she turned 18 and it looks as if the same will hold true for my younger daughter.

Fortunately, I didn’t go to that many school functions. As such, I didn’t have to meet up with other kid’s parents.

With that being said, both my daughters did play soccer and I always enjoyed watching them play.

I do feel that my children “lost out” on something in their childhood. It seems like they missed out on the social experiences that most other kids enjoy. Our family (my myself, my wife, my daughters) is not really close to any other family. By that, I mean, as a family, we don’t have another family that we are friendly with (that we hang out together with and do things with). I have no idea if that is normal (or not). But, it seems as if my kids lost out on a social opportunity that most other kids enjoy.

Both my kids are NT. My son was behind in his language and now he is talking fluently now and is speaking clearly now. He was also having behavior issues in school such as waiting his turn, he was hitting, and he bit a kid and got sent home, wouldn't switch from one activity to another, and he was very hyper and he has a hard time being patient. But he has two teachers now that come in and he has been doing much better and he is visual so they use visual aides and help get him prepared to transition from one activity to another. He also cannot wait in long lines. He has no diagnoses and I suspect he is normal. We won't know for sure until he is older. I have only had one parent teacher conference and one school thing and it's not bad. I love to hold my children and hug them and my son doesn't like to be alone so he will follow me or want me in the same room with him and his whining really gets to me and his screaming and crying and his shrieks are painful and sometimes the way he touches me is painful and with him being rambunctious and a crying or fussy baby, it gets overwhelming for me and it brings up my anxiety. I often think I have a hard time with two kids but my mom thinks I do well with two. I have signed him up for Soccer Shots last summer because he was interested in soccer and liked kicking the ball so I thought he would like the sport. He didn't do well in it because he wouldn't follow directions and my husband had to be there because I couldn't do it alone.

My son is happy and he loves me so I think I am doing something right.

I have to say over all I am thrilled with the way my son "turned out" even though the years from 13-16 were absolutely horrible. I'm glad he's normal and able to socialize and do all the things that were painfully difficult for me. I was very fortunate that he had early verbal development so he was articulate and easy to understand at a young age. As an infant and toddler he wasn't too challenging- he enjoyed daycare and preschool and made friends easily with other kids. The worst thing he did in preschool was encourage another boy to moon traffic when they were out on the playground.

The most awkward situation for me was when my son learned to read. He learned just like most normal kids do- between the ages of 5 and 6, by sounding out words and reading those picture books designed for kids. I'm hyperlexic and could read fluently by age 2 with no outside intervention. I have absolutely no idea how I learned to read that early, or why. So I was of almost no help in teaching my son to read.

I think in some ways my son has actually been protective of me in social situations. He's a far better navigator and negotiator than I am. I've learned a lot from him about how the world of normal works- so I'm not saying that being on the spectrum and having an NT kid is a bad thing- just that it's a bit different.

My daughter is very NT. I survived her play dates, sleepovers, shopping expeditions, hairdresser's and beauty appointments, sports involvement, community events, travel plans, graduation, prom, parties etc, etc, etc.
When it got too much I would either retreat to my quiet place or go hang out with my very ASD son so we could commiserate with each other about the strange ways of girls
As she's gotten older it feels like our roles have reversed and she is now the parent and I'm the child. She loves to tell me what to do and I love ignoring her advice.

Thats why I don't want NT children. NT teens are loud, obnoxious and careless pest.

My eldest (4 next month) has been diagnosed as high functioning and I can't say it was a surprise. My 2 yr old might be NT? We're not sure at this point, and I'm not really sure I know what an NT kid is like... I've not hung out with them enough to know. My entire family is skip roping in the spectrum, so weird is just what we do, that's our normal. My dad has told me a few times, "I'm sorry, I'm afraid your child is... normal." -_- It's obvious enough the 2 yr old isn't what's considered normal, but we'll see how he turns out.

My oldest boy (3 at the time) had a day for fathers to come to kinder and see how there child was doing. I didn't really want to go, but I did. (I try to be there for my kids as much as possible). All the fathers were standing around drinking coffee and chatting to one another, I asked my son what he liked to play with at kinder, and he led me to a train set, so we sat down and started building a track, before long all the children were helping (as they were being ignored by there fathers), before long we had a massive (complete) track. The children (about 15 of them) were all giggling and enjoying themselves and when there fathers realized there kids were having fun without them I got some pretty glaring looks. But my son kept asking when I would come back as him and his friends wanted to play trains with me again because I make really good tracks.

The staff commended my efforts saying it was good to see a father get down on the kids level. (I guess they didn't realize I would rather play with trains, than talk to the "adults")

He is now almost 5, very polite, very smart and makes friends with everyone. The hardest part for me is he never wants to return to his mothers and asks why he cannot stay with me forever.

I actually believe my logical approach to parenting has helped him become the well mannered, intelligent boy he is.

Our daughter is a very, very social, everyone wants to hang with, extrovert NT butterfly.

It is hard on her Aspie dad. He has to step up his game twice as much to deal with parents, the never ending stream of happy kids rolling through our house, volunteering because some things our daughter wants to do, a parent is required to go.

I ask my husband about his comfort level dealing with all this. He just told me you do what you have to do. "There is a footall playing, extrovert jock of a dad, who has to make peace with his Aspie son's likes and dislikes. He has to meet his son's comfort zone. Our daughter's world is not mine. I need to try to meet it half way."

NT or Aspie, kids are just hard away. Our daughter loves her father, and I don't believes she finds him lacking. My husband works extremely hard on their relationship, as it doesn't come naturally.

As a parent, I want my home to be where all the kids hang out and have a good time. I want to know their friends. If the kids are hanging here, I know they aren't drinking, drugging or getting banged by some gross 20 something year old chasing after 15 year old teens.

Believe me, I DON'T want to be their friend, and a quiet home would be nice. But when you don't keep some kind tabs on what is on the down low, that is when s**t goes south. There has to be a happy medium between feral kid and helicopter parent and I'm trying. Lol..

I have to say it was almost scary that my house turned into the "cool" place for my son and his buddies to hang out, but I think a lot of it was because he's an only child. He had all the cool stuff, like the PlayStation, cable TV, etc. in his own room. There was also foosball in the basement, and always a fridge full of snacks and pop.

Most of the other boys had siblings and/or were in situations where they were living with single parents and had not-so-ideal home lives, (I worried that some of them weren't even getting proper meals at home) so it was probably better for all concerned that I had the hangout house. I didn't have to worry about where my kid was or who he was with- until later when he got interested in girls- but that was a whole other saga.

I do enjoy having the quiet back though. I don't miss having a house full of loud (and hungry) kids!