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Skibz888
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18 Jul 2015, 7:28 pm

I can lie, but I don't because I usually feel really bad about doing so. :?



devilschild
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18 Jul 2015, 7:43 pm

This is a huge lie. I've lied before and I have aspergers. I'd just rather tell the truth.



nuttyengineer
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18 Jul 2015, 10:34 pm

AspieUtah wrote:
If asked a question point-blank without warning, I can't help it. I don't lie. I don't enjoy lying anyway.


This. Actually, a couple of days ago a co-worker asked me kind of an awkward question and I just spit out the truthful answer which was considerably more awkward.

However I am perfectly capable of lying. It's usually pretty obvious, though.


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BirdInFlight
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19 Jul 2015, 3:48 am

Yes I relate to the thing of being asked an awkward question out of the blue and I can't help answering the truth even if it's something I would have preferred to stay silent for, lie about, or otherwise not answer that question as it invades privacy or otherwise troubles me.

If I stay alert to that I can tell a protective lie I've rehearsed though. In common with others here though, I don't enjoy the feeling. I don't like to lie but sometimes in life it proves to be a necessary evil for good reasons depending on the situation.

But I live in a nosy building, by which I mean the problem is off the charts out of control and also to malicious levels (it's a long story, but suffice to say even people who don't live here know about it.....), and just to pass through the hallway I need to be armed with "verbal deflections" when people point-blank ask me things they have a nerve to ask and don't have the right to the truth or my sharing what's private.

There are some people you should always be truthful, transparent and open with because they've earned the right to deserve that and not abuse it.

There are other people -- usually not ones you've "chosen" in life, who are not your close friends, who are not people who actually like you or care about you, and who will often use things against you if your share it -- and they neither deserve nor warrant any truths.

Bit of a rant there, but I have my reasons.



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19 Jul 2015, 4:32 am

People would rather be happy with hearing a pleasant lie than be offended by the brutal truth - that's why I choose to lie.



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19 Jul 2015, 4:38 am

People often seem to assume I'm just too stupid to lie.


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Fnord
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19 Jul 2015, 8:20 am

Spiderpig wrote:
People often seem to assume I'm just too stupid to lie.
People seem to assume that I'm too honest to bluff at poker. Then they call it "luck" after I've taken their money, and they try to win their money back.

Flat affect, monotone voice, and a good understanding of the odds means that I win a little more often than mere "luck" would allow.



johnsmcjohn
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19 Jul 2015, 8:36 pm

RoadRatt wrote:
Aspies can lie. We tend towards telling the truth though, even if it's brutal.


This I think sums up the question. We can and do lie, but prefer the truth even when that truth is not socially acceptable.


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Deb1970
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19 Jul 2015, 10:50 pm

I can lie but it bothers me when I do. I usually end up telling on myself and apologizing. The one that is the hardest for me is when someone ask me how I'm doing. It is so hard for me to tell them I'm fine when I'm not. It seems NT's expect me to say I'm fine. I hate social norms..... they make no sense to me.
Something a bit off the subject. I also find the fact that Mc Donalds says there a fast food restaurant hard to understand. I find there service slow most of the time.


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kamiyu910
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19 Jul 2015, 11:56 pm

I can lie, but I tend not to. My brother is better at it, but like previous posters have said, we tend to walk around the truth or tell half-truths. And when someone pushes me, I tend to tell the absolute honest truth, which is usually not what they want to hear.

Like one time in a college class with a teacher who didn't pay attention to us, and I tended to get bored because she wasn't pushing us to work... She cornered me in the middle of class and started asking me questions about why I was bored. I danced around the truth but she kept pushing me and pushing me, asked me, "What do you want??" so I blurted out "I want Charlie." (Charlie was another teacher, one who actually paid attention to us and made us work, made us think, made us strive to be better). Ugh. That ended up with me crying in her office with the other teacher as she berated me, yelling at me that I was being unprofessional etc etc.

So I try very very hard not to say the truth sometimes if I feel this sort of thing is going to happen again. On a couple occasions I've just said, "I cannot tell you. I will not tell you." And just repeat that until the person goes away. Doesn't win me friends.... no winning here. I just can't lie like that...

Now, there have been times where I've been able to spout random nonsense in a flat tone and have people take me seriously. I find that hilarious. Like when I tell people we came from rats, not from monkeys, because of how closely related to pigs we are.


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ajpd1989
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20 Jul 2015, 1:32 am

I definitely can lie (though not always convincingly), but I prefer not to.
For practical reasons, not reasons of conscience.



Soomander
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20 Jul 2015, 11:10 am

Wolfram87 wrote:
Meistersinger wrote:
Bullsh!t! I can tell some really good whoppers, when I need to.

Damn you, now I want a whopper.

:lol: this is what i was thinking



Proteus
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20 Jul 2015, 11:30 am

Fnord wrote:
People would rather be happy with hearing a pleasant lie than be offended by the brutal truth - that's why I choose to lie.


I struggle with this one on a philosophical level. I ask myself, why bother with honesty when most of the people I encounter strongly prefer their self-deceptions? Even when you try to tell the truth with kindness, most of them will still be offended/hurt/feel attacked/etc. Yet I instinctively lean towards honesty. I don’t even think I can lie convincingly anymore anyway. It's yet another reason for me to feel alone and isolated. My mind leans toward truth and honesty on all levels, but my loved ones strongly, emphatically even, wants to be lied to.

Count me in with the “yes, I can lie but instinctively prefer not” to group.



ZenDen
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20 Jul 2015, 11:46 am

Campin_Cat wrote:
I can lie----butcha gotta gimme a couple days notice, to practice----and, even then, I've botched it, cuz it's just not natural; lying takes WORK (arduous processing).

If I'm walking down the street and someone asks me for money, I can easily say "No" (even when I have money), cuz that's a practiced response (I knew the response, beforehand).


You could also respond: "Not today friend." It doesn't have to be a lie.



Eric2971
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20 Jul 2015, 12:04 pm

Like most stereotypes, this one contains a small amount of truth. It's not that we can't lie, it's the fact that we rarely see or understand the need to do so, especially in our childhood years (I think the little white lie social story is being taught to the kids these days) . As time passes, some of us get exposed to situations where not being able to lie well would result in bad consequences (for instance, getting the crap beat out of us or worse), while others are told on an almost daily basis that they are being rude and inconsiderate and if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all (this is a lesson that I think most of us absorb). Still others become fascinated with movies and television actors and practice till they're fluent.


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BuyerBeware
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20 Jul 2015, 12:24 pm

We are, in fact, perfectly capable of lying.

We are not very good at it and generally do not like to do it, but we can.

It's mostly the "socially sanctioned lies" that we really suck at. "Why, yes, I agree." "Doing [that thing I just told you I really hate] sounds like a wonderful idea!" "This is delicious!!" "That shirt looks great on you!!" This is a notorious problem area for us.

We also tend to be bad at discerning when other people are lying on the spot. We can, and usually will, work it out eventually through logic (something my kids learn early in adolescence), and then we tend to feel hurt, humiliated, and betrayed...

...which leads to us not liking to lie to people...

...especially "socially sanctioned lies"...

...which leads to more trouble.

It's a vicious cycle.


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