Autistic Gender Imbalance Denial

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^^^
I do think some girls fall under the radar simply because no one knows what they are looking at. They are under the radar more because of other people's ignorance than because of being too mild or not having it. And add to that that even some boys have trouble getting appropriate diagnoses because the people in their lives "don't believe in labels" or don't want to believe anything is "wrong" with their kid. I know of someone who doesn't want their kid diagnosed because she doesn't want him to be "that kid" but he'll be "that kid" label or no label. And he'll pay the price for it.

I think there is a gender imbalance for autism, I don't see why the male/female ratio has to be 1:1.

I think that a gender imbalance is possible as the brain hemispheres of male and female foetuses develop in a different pace and male foetus brains seem to develop slower than female foetus brains and especially the left hemisphere seems to develop slower, which contains the center of speech and I think whatever is causing autism has longer time to affect the male foetus brains and especially the male foetus left hemispheres in development than the female foetus brains and the female foetus left hemispheres.
But this is only a thought, no evidence at all.

We'll probably never know what the real ratio is, even in the US, because of how many people still are afraid of a diagnosis or are completely unaware they might be on the spectrum. I just thought I was weird until my family and I were joking around and they suggested I take an online test. I was 27, I think? And it had never occurred to me that I might be on the spectrum. I was just... weird.

As to whether there really are more males then females on the spectrum, I'm not sure it matters. It certainly doesn't matter as much as the stigma that goes along with that thought that it doesn't affect females. Many psychologists won't even diagnose a woman because she's female and they're under the impression that unless they're non-verbal rocking in a corner, they aren't autistic or even in need of a diagnosis.

I wouldn't be surprised if it's found that there's some kind of protective effect from being female. It's not talked about a lot but I do think there's differences in the male and female brain. But maybe research is being withheld in case it causes stereotyping or sexism or whatever, I don't know. May be a generalisation but I swear NT girls are more socially adept, so whatever causes that may be protecting them from autism. Just an idea, not based on anything but observations. Men and women do seem different. So autism in men and women would probably be different. Definitely needs to be looked into more rather than my sh***y guessing.

Well, there is plenty of scientific data out there that shows we are in fact rather different. Female brains are developed differently, such as extra dendrites, and different hormones. It's not a bad thing to say that we're different from males, but it is better to not have a set expectation of a person's personality based on their biological gender, either. My brain is female, but I think it's more closely related to a male brain than the classic female brain (or as much as I can figure out, as they haven't actually mapped my brain). A lot of people associate things like logical thinking and map reading to men, and I find I enjoy talking to men more than women (as far as NT types go). I'm not sure what the differences are within the spectrum, but I suspect there can be a difference there as well. I've heard ADHD affects women differently, so why not autism?

This sounds like a privilege.


1. What exact rules are you talking about?
2. How were you 'forced'?
3. What backlash are you talking about?

I hope I am wrong but this sounds like the usual whining about 'gender expectations' that are conveniently hard to measure properly and largely invisible so we're expected to take your word for it when you tell us how big a problem they are.

It does depend on where you're located as to what those expecations are, as well as you socio-economic status. Because NT girls are biologically different in brain structure than NT boys, there are inherent differences that end up becoming expectations. For NT girls, they are commonly very social creatures and gather in groups, or cliques, and status becomes an important thing.
There is that age old idea that women are meant to do what are considered more feminine chores, such as stay home, raise the family, cook dinner, clean, sew, etc. Despite my family being outside the norm, I had these impressions hammered into me by outside sources, and grew up with the idea that I was meant to get married and have kids. That was my job as a female. It's a lot better now, and the expectations are far less, but depending on location and family/cultural expectations, they can still be a problem and should not be discounted out of hand.

Boys, on the other hand, are typically expected to go out and get a job to support the family. They're expected to not show emotion, unlike girls, and it's a lot easier for them if they show intelligence and preferred field of expertise (as far as my experience has shown me). I've hear the saying "boys will be boys" often and my grandparents were under the impression I should not speak unless spoken to and when speaking, my voice was to be a specified volume; loud enough to hear but not too loud. It felt like even though people didn't like my brother all that much, he was forgiven for trespasses a lot easier. I had to know etiquette.

As for it being a privilege, that depends on the girl and situation. For me, in the long run, it was. While my brother was allowed to be himself and I had to hide who I was, it ended up working out better for me. However, there were areas where I was stunted because of the girl who took me under her wing (look up purity culture).
The way I was forced was that these people were relentless in making sure I knew proper etiquette. Such as how they would call on the phone and if I answered incorrectly, they would hang up and call again, and do this until I got it right. Because I wanted to see my friend, and being a compliant child, I wanted to please them, and so I had to learn, or be cut off. Other people would do other manipulative tactics, or abuse. One woman I was staying with wouldn't listen to me when I said I wanted toast for breakfast and ordered me pancakes. When I couldn't finish them, she forced me to eat them with water (I threw up). Being a compliant child who wanted to obey the rules was not a pleasant thing...
I hope that's enough to give you an idea and answer your question.

Unfortunately, it looks like I called it exactly. I just knew it was the usual complaint about 'gender expectations' that has become so trendy recently.

A problem. This says nothing. I don't see the evidence that the scale of the problem comes close to matching the response.


Being 'expected' to do something doesn't mean you have to. Yes, expectations influence our decisions but whether your make the decision based on those expectations is up to you. That's true for me and it's true for you.

As for how it 'felt', people 'feel' a lot of things. I've heard the same stuff said by men but the other way around, so this doesn't change anything.


Elaborate on these areas. I'm hoping you're not saying you were stunted sexually and this is another gender problem because it's not and I've already predicted you right once when I wanted to be wrong.


I had similar experiences with a child-minder when I was a child. She made me (and another child) eat until we vomited too and blamed us when we vomited. I don't see how this is relevant to this discussion at all.

I think you're probably reading too much into things and are reading with your own bias? You can't actually say someone's own experience is false when you haven't actually lived it. You can not believe me if you want, I don't have to prove myself to you. I'm merely curious about the differences in diagnostic criteria vs whether women are able to "hide" it better or not. Have you been talking to the SJWs too much?

I was hoping I was until you showed me I wasn't when you did as I predicted and starting complaining about gender expectations.


That's no defence. I can easily just say that when you have balls they sometimes stick to your leg and this is the most incredibly debilitating thing ever and has a psychological impact that is worse than war PTSD, and you can't say it's false because you "haven't actually lived it". It's a cheap cop-out that can safely be disregarded.

What it seems like your saying is that what I have observed growing up is untrue, as I am stating an observation, not merely complaining about something I experienced. I don't understand why something I've experienced is not something that should be taken into consideration when discussing the disparity between diagnosing females and males, as others have experienced it as well.

Are you saying there is no such thing as differing expectations between sexes in certain cultures/families? Or are you saying people aren't allowed to talk about it? I'm really confused as to what you're saying or expecting.


Edited to say after reading through your other posts on the site, you seem to be under the impression that I'm saying women have it worse?
That is incorrect. We have it different, nothing more, nothing less. Comparing the two in terms of "worse/better" will get nowhere. My curiosity is merely on the perceptions of the psychologists and whether that matters when diagnosing, which is a valid point.

I had an idea to communicate my idea better:

XYZ happened to me, while ABC happened to my brother, which led to him seeking a diagnosis years before it was suggested I do as well, which leads me to my hypothesis that other women might be in my same position in which they are unaware they might be on the spectrum, thus not seeking a diagnosis, thus leading to an imbalance in the ratio.

Added in the factor that females tend to display differently than males, their biological/physiological makeup being different, thus leading to a discrepancy in diagnostic criteria or the mindsets of those diagnosing, leading to an imbalance in the ratio.

Whether that ratio is 1:1 or 4:1 doesn't matter to me. I'm only curious as to whether or not the various cultural, societal, and familial expectations of females actually helps contribute to this ratio being 4:1.

I never said your experiences are false. I just seriously question how proportional the negative impact of gender expectations is to the feminist response to it.

The thread of discussion we're having right now started when I replied to this sentence specifically:


Keep in mind you said 'we'. You were talking about women in general, not just you vs your brother.

I recognise rhetoric when I see it, and when I read that sentence I predicted that you were someone who perpetuates the usual feminist narratives. If I'm wrong, and you don't believe in patriarchy or feminist theory, then I take what I said back. I'm just so used to it because it's become the mainstream view nowadays among educated/indoctrinated women.

So yes, you do have preconceived notions about me based on your previous interactions with other people and are coloring my words incorrectly. And I'm sorry if I'm not being clear, but well, if I could communicate perfectly every time, I wouldn't be here

There are so many cultures, so many different types of society, and different familial expectations depending on where you go, and each one has different expectations of each gender. I just happened to grow up in one that preferred girls to be little angels and boys will be boys.
That doesn't mean it's fair for the boys. Each of these cultures and expectations have various outcomes and it really depends on the child's personality as to whether it's a good or a bad thing. I don't believe things are inherently bad, or inherently good. Things just are, and some things tend to have a more negative outcome than others and those should be adjusted.

And I stand by my curiosity, as there are plenty of people who have grown up in a similar situation as mine (I've met more than quite a few) and I've talked to plenty of women who have not sought a diagnosis for various reasons, or were told they couldn't possibly be autistic because they have coping mechanisms and can function at least on a base level in society. I'm sure there are negative perceptions of male autists that color the diagnostic criteria for some psychologists as well.