Things NTs do that appear rude

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That seems to be a real issue with NTs regarding how they view autistic people. It seems when you're labelled with something as giant as "autism", they automatically make assumptions about you and everything gets labelled with that gigantic term. This causes MASSIVE misunderstanding. I mean, not all my issues are autism-related, because I am a human being with other functions, you know.

LOL



Well I think it is just asking for trouble to corner and antagonize anyone that way. It's completely normal to get pissed off at something like that. The only difference is, with some of us, it might be the intensity of how we react that makes people mad.

Expecting you to be understanding of their point of view while belittling your point of view.

I do that sometimes. It's because that person is new to me and maybe I can't remember their name or how to properly pronounce it.

If I saw (I'm a visual learner) how that name was spelled, then it'd be easier to call out their name.

I had a fellow student in middle school. Their surname was Pestrak or something like that. Well, we were both in Phys. Ed. together. and being guys, the teacher and other students would call each other by our surnames.

I couldn't hear properly whether that students surname was Pestrak or Testrak. So I didn't do either. Perhaps I pointed.

But if I saw his name on a list in the school someplace I would have instantly known how to pronounce his name.

Feeling entitled to pry into one's personal life and then passing judgement on it if it isn't normal enough, gossiping about it, and never letting it go. Or, making out that you're being rude by not letting them pry (because you know what happens).

I've also had the weird-lunch comments -- I'm allergic to wheat and brought food in tupperware. I think people do that as a proxy for complaining about you being weird in other ways. They don't have the guts to say "I think you're weird" directly so they pick at you in less direct ways.

This may be a non autistic thing, but not being able to keep any sense of composure while drunk. I know when I'm drunk, even very drunk, I get very friendly around people I know and am familiar with, but I still wouldn't interact with people I don't know or yell obscene things at them. I still have my internalized center that is intact, even though my outer sensory control is pretty wonk. It's an interesting thing I've noted this past year.

Yeah, it makes me uneasy when people do this. I mean, sometimes the person that they are gossiping about isn't even doing anything that's destructive or harmful so I just don't see why it would even matter. I usually don't feel comfortable telling people things about myself because of that.

It also really bothers me when people who barley even know you put a label on you based on how you look or act and then just treat you accordingly.

Staring at strangers. I'd thought NTs would know better, because nothing's more uncomfortable than having someone staring at you when you're not doing anything weird or not dressed oddly.

I can't help wondering if some people do this on purpose in order to create that precise effect....

This sounds like an 'invisible rule' type situation.
Possibly the rule is that in some cases it's ok to interrupt (or be interrupted) and in others it isn't.
With autistic people only tending to get feedback in situations where they interrupt when they shouldn't but not where they fail to interrupt when they should.
To NT's never interrupting may come over as 'aloof', 'anti-social', etc.
But, at least to me, not knowing when to interrupt can feel very frustrating.

I am yet to comprehend why it is that NTs feel the need to make derisive comments about their peers. What makes it all the more flabbergasting is that they seldom state such odious remarks in front of the target in question for the denunciation. Ostensibly it's a never-ending cycle of remorseless deceit.

This is known as 'infantilization'. I found it interesting reading the blog of someone in a wheelchair. Since some of their experiences, especially as a teenager, sound very similar to mine.

Maybe they are so used to doing this that they honestly can't tell when 'a cigar is just a cigar'.
Or you are inadvertantly using what are considered code phrases in 'NT speak'.

One of the reasons that the novels of Charles Dickens have held lasting appeal despite huge cultural changes since he wrote them in the 19th century is that he had such an acute eye for, and way of describing, everyday cultural hypocrisies that manifested in behaviour of "proper" people, who considered themselves paragons of 'proper' behaviour (ie what they themselves did) and therefore entitled to judge, belittle and scorn anyone whose behaviour or tribe or class was not an imitation of their self-perceived perfect and therefore immensely superior selves. He had a microscope vision for the faults they themselves were blind too, their judmentalism, intolerance, simplistic condescension of others. Because of this and other gifts Dickens had - his warm heart for the different, his hatred of oppression of the less privileged - his work will remain relevant perhaps for centuries to come. He had very little time for these 'good' people, whose goodness was all on the surface, whose souls were bankrupt spaces of spite, envy and whose psychological make-up was we would now might call childish egotism or narcissistic orientation.

NTs can get away with that because they are higher on the social ladder. If you do it, you are weird and rude. And don't point out social dynamics, that will make people really mad. Socialization is a game to them, a game in which the rules aren't usually stated outright.

I've not read all the replies so these may have already been mentioned but blatant queue jumping is very common and annoying. Also people who talk on their mobile phones and pay for their post/shopping and don't even look up/thank the cashier just carry on their conversation like they aren't there.