People with later life diagnosis

Post Reply New Topic

Hi, I was just 'officially' diagnosed with an ASD age 38. Knowing all your life that you're 'different' and then having it confirmed by a doctor... let's just say it's an odd feeling.

Well if I am ASD or not, I still wonder who I am.

I thought I figured it out in my 30s and was pretty pleased, then changes have made me wonder all over again.

I think life is every changing and we are expected to change with it.

Unlike out parents time when it was

Birth, school, college / uni ( maybe ) work, marriage, kids, retire and then die.

Now there is not even job security as such.

People don't work so hard at relationships ( Thank you Hollywood )

People are more worried how they look and about themselves.

They watch more people on real tv , living dysfunctionally yet aspiring to be like them.

A sense of community barely exists.

I think for some of us older generations, the feeling is the world is changing so quickly and we want to get off.

Not sure how much sense I made there and hope someone understands what I am trying to get at haha

Noura on a rant

For me, it's not who I am, but why I am the way I am.

I was born in 1971, over 20 years before Asperger's was even a formal diagnosis. People still though autism was a form of childhood schizophrenia and I can't recall anybody discussing a spectrum back in those days. It's not like today where teachers, school therapists (didn't have one at my schools), and even your regular doctor can pick up on the signs of autism in kids (like they did with my daughter). You could't just log onto YouTube and watch a video and learn about autism (and if you could have it would have been chock full of wrong info). There wasn't near the awareness (or support) back in those days. If you had special needs they sent you away to another school.

Tens of thousands spent on therapy (for nervous breakdowns, anxiety, depression, etc.) and 40-plus-years later, I am a relatively well-functioning adult. I was diagnosed a year ago by a clinical psychologist who specializes in adults with ASD. She said it was funny how some people (even therapists) have this view that AS and ASD is a relatively new thing that only kids can have. She said they seem to have forgotten that these kids grow up to become adults.

I went through a heavy depression after my diagnosis because I kept focusing on how things could have been different if I had known about AS. What if my teachers, friends, and parent's had known about AS? Maybe I could have gotten more support and help. Maybe I would have done better in school? Maybe I could have made friends a bit more easily and saved some friendships and stopped the bullying. I had a lot of "what ifs" in my head. I finally got over that and now I take a lot of pride in the fact that I survived and even thrived at times despite having no formal dx or support mechanisms in place. I really think it made me tougher than your average bear. I'm thankful my daughter will know what she has and will get the support she needs. She'll be able to accomplish a lot more than me. That's my new focus.

dx'd at 58 after a life of wondering what was wrong with me - back later to add more comments

I think it was '95 before it was recognized as a diagnosis in America. And, there are still many of them that are not as aware and they could be. In November of last year I was asked why I wasn't diagnosed as a child. Duhhhhhhhhh....I was born in '60.

I'm sure that Kraftie and AsPartOfMe can give info on the acceptance and evolution of the diagnosis in America.

Did the person who made the diagnosis ((USA) write it out or did you ask them for something in writing.)

I'm guessing releases have to be signed to release information to your primary doctor and /or human resources.
Thanks to all for sharing their experience.
Might have answers tomorrow evening.

I was diagnosed at 60. I had no idea I had it as I didn't ever connect any dots. When it was suggested, I quickly believed it fit me perfectly. I then got a diagnosis from Kaiser. They wouldn't give me any services because I was an adult. Last year it came to my attention that Kaiser was illegally withholding services from autistic adults along with mental health resources. I was able to force them to help me with a counselor who specializes in autism, both adults and children. I would recommend diagnosis and counseling with a counselor who deeply understands autism. It's never too late to learn. Also, it's never too late to stop blaming yourself for a condition which causes many issues...

Hope no-one minds me butting in. I'm kind of in a similar position. I'm seeing a counsellor at the moment for anxiety and depression. At the last session I came away and started to do a lot of thinking, which has led me in the Asperger direction. I really don't know though, and I am wondering whether to go after a diagnosis or not.

What took me on this path was trying to talk about feelings related to my father's death just over a year ago. I don't really have any feelings about it. I find it particularly awkward when my eldest son says he misses him. I don't know how to act as I don't feel the same way. It's not like I didn't get on with him, just I never could say that I felt close. The only person I can say I feel close to are my wife and kids, even then I have a lot of trouble expressing it.

With the counsellor, I had already talked about how I spent most of my childhood feeling different and how I was bullied through primary and secondary school. My mum describes me as a chameleon when it came to trying to fit in. I am highly socially anxious. Hate parties and gatherings where I'm under pressure to be social. I can never figure out what to do. I have pretty much no friends. As soon as I move on between phases of life I tend to leave people behind and not think about them again. My wife was the first woman that I went out with (at the age of 23), and she pretty much asked me out.

I kind of feel that I would probably fail an assessment as I have become very adept at reading people, so I can get by (for example, I have read up on microexpressions etc).

I'm another one of these potential aspies that has self-diagnosed and realised that so much fits a puzzle and explains life and history. I now have to figure out how to try and tell my wife without getting another hypochondriac complaint. For scores, I get AQ 46, EQ 17, Rdos aspie quiz of 166 neurodiverse, very likely aspie and 35 neurotypical.

This all started from last Friday. I don't see my counsellor again until the 7th, so at this point I'm tempted not to say anything until then and see if she thinks I'm mad.

Apologies for the rambling.

I appreciate everyone sharing their experience.

Yes I'm one that plays the What if?, game in my head.

My score on the multiple time I took it, were a bit lower Or higher than those listed here.

One (among many) things I didn't know was there are "severity" levels in a diagnosis.

It isn't to late.

Side question to those of you who are married. Are there support groups for spouse. I know of lots of parental support groups.

Perhaps they are called Aspie-or spectrum-Anon.(similar but not necessarily based on the same recovery system as Al-Anon)

"If we can't laugh at ourselves, others will beat us to it."

Sorry for the long ramble ahead. For those who are diagnosed, have you been able to find any therapies specifically to help with your autistic issues?

I first suspected that I has ASD in autumn 2014. An old friend reconnected after about 10 years via Facebook. Since then, she'd had two daughters, one of whom was diagnosed with Asperger's. My friend would post interesting things her daughter would say or do, and I would chuckle to myself, "I was like that at her age." I never really made a connection about maybe me having Asperger's too, until my friend posted a link to an online questionnaire for ASD. I clicked on the link, just for fun, thinking it was one of those silly Facebook quizzes like, Which Disney Princess Are You? My score was pretty high, and I said, "uhhhh WHAT?"

There was a bunch of information about Asperger's symptoms. I started taking every online quiz I could find, and reading about the symptoms. Not only did this sound like me, but it sounded like my Dad, too. I told my psychiatrist I thought I had Asperger's. She laughed at me. When I asked why she laughed, she denied laughing.

I asked Psychiatrist #2 if I could get a referral for testing, and told her why I thought I was ASD. First she said, "we don't use labels here," and that there was no autism test for adults. I was dumbfounded (literally. I lost speech and had to wait until next session to talk to her again). I came back and explained how labels can help a doctor deliver more precise treatment and that I'd found that there were adult tests. She told me that Kaiser didn't have any doctors who could diagnose adults and didn't cover the testing. I told her that I'd talked to someone who had gotten testing covered. She called me back later to say she found a psychologist to do the test and I got diagnosed, after several months of searching and waiting.

Unfortunately, I couldn't find anybody who could do any kind of therapy for autistic adults in Kaiser. I switched to Aetna. Psychiatrist #3 told me that I couldn't be autistic after talking to me for 10 minutes, in spite of the official diagnosis. He said I couldn't be autistic because I had a job, a spouse, was too articulate, and didn't seem weird enough. He also told me that there were no therapies for autism. I burst into tears and left. I'm getting pretty discouraged about finding anything to help with the sensory issues, social isolation, and executive function issues.

I greatly appreciate everyone taking the time to respond to my thread.

It has been very informative.

Thank you

I first started looking into clinical answers some time after 2000, while away at college. Since it was my first attempt at being semi-independent, I was overwhelmed and stressed, and my rituals and routines became more rigid and noticeable. I thought maybe it was OCD or OCPD, but neither one fit exactly. I glimpsed autism, but did not pay much attention because it was a "childhood disorder". I gave up.

I looked into it again after 2010, after a miserable-worsening-to-hopeless job history. But, this time, I researched my sensory and stimming problems. I thought maybe it was HSP, until I saw SPD. Finally, something seemed to fit. Again, autism came up (because of its connection with SPD). This time, I read a book about actual autistic kids, not just the diagnostic criteria. I could relate, but I thought it was just empathy.

I searched for a psychologist for testing, diagnosis, and treatment. Unfortunately, they did not want to do any testing or diagnosis, just jump to treatment (talk therapy ). But, it did give me the chance to do my homework on my sensory issues.

I searched again and found a psychologist who did comprehensive neuropsychological testing to assess cognitive, educational, emotional, behavioral, and developmental issues. After all of that testing, I was diagnosed with ASD.

Oh no.

Please don't correct my grammar.

I already know it's terrible.

I always make silly mistakes because my fingers work faster than my brain

I'm only 25, but I never really connected the dots until a couple of months ago when a co worker told me I had a "dry personality" which naturally, I took very personally. After some googling I wound up at Wrong Planet. While I haven't got an official diagnosis yet, I'm 97% sure I'm on the spectrum. After hours of research and taking the AQ test multiple times and scoring a 33 or higher I was convinced. I haven't decided if I am going to get a professional diagnoses though. I function just fine (except in social situations). It's a huge relief having something to explain why I have always felt like the oddball. I don't have my wife 100% convinced that I have it yet. She scored a 17 on the AQ lol.

I have to wait 6 to 12 months for a diagnosis and I am not 100% convinced yet either. Even scoring 36 on the AQ test.
Some bits don't seem to quite fit. Luckily being in the uk its all free .