whats the point of love if it never lasts?

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random1
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11 Mar 2016, 3:23 pm

title says it


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MissAlgernon
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11 Mar 2016, 3:36 pm

"Love never lasts" is not true.



random1
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11 Mar 2016, 3:40 pm

MissAlgernon wrote:
"Love never lasts" is not true.

but so many people get divorced now a days


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MissAlgernon
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11 Mar 2016, 3:48 pm

It doesn't mean that they've stopped loving each other. People who really love each other continue loving each other even after divorce. People don't stop loving each other for nothing ; if love disappears, there's usually a very good reason. And if suddenly romantic feelings disappear... Remember that attraction and love are two different things, and they don't always go together. "Being in love with someone" ≠ "Loving someone".
About attraction itself, these feelings are something that fluctuates a lot in all long-term relationships. All couples have periods where attraction is weaker or even disappears, sometimes for very long periods. It doesn't mean that attraction is dead at all.



Raleigh
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11 Mar 2016, 4:18 pm

There is no point to love.
It's pointless.
That's what makes it so beautiful.
There is no reason to it - it just is.

Many people think love has to have a purpose.
They seek someone who fits their purpose at the time of seeking.
Maybe they want a companion, security, sex, children, emotional needs met etc.
When that purpose ends, their love for that person may end too.

That's why pointless love is much better.


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Joe90
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11 Mar 2016, 4:59 pm

These days a lot of people don't take relationships seriously. Years ago love and marriage used to mean something. Now some people just get married as an excuse to show off by throwing a big wedding party. Or people just meet someone and think they're in love, then find themselves pregnant, have the first baby, split up from their partner, then do it all over again with someone else. I know of so many people of my generation who either have about 3 kids by different men, or are single mums before the oldest child has even started school. Others just play about with relationships; he slept with her best mate, secretly had a baby with her best mate's cousin, who has 2 kids already, she cheated on him, he now hates her, they use the kids to claim rights and benefets....all such a big mess.

Not saying everybody's like that, but it does seem to be the norm nowadays. I prefer living the old-fashioned way, which may be the "the wife stays home and cooks and cleans while the husband works to pull in a wage" way, but, hey, at least couples actually STAYED together when life was like that. Now it's all internet, greed, competition, privatisation, overpopulation, anti-racism, the list goes on.


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Feyokien
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11 Mar 2016, 5:00 pm

Raleigh wrote:
There is no point to love.
It's pointless.
That's what makes it so beautiful.
There is no reason to it - it just is.

Many people think love has to have a purpose.
They seek someone who fits their purpose at the time of seeking.
Maybe they want a companion, security, sex, children, emotional needs met etc.
When that purpose ends, their love for that person may end too.

That's why pointless love is much better.


Where can I get some of that



ProfessorJohn
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11 Mar 2016, 8:20 pm

Even if it doesn't last, it still feels good while it is going on. The divorce rate is only 50%, which means that just as many marriages succeed for life.



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11 Mar 2016, 11:02 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I prefer living the old-fashioned way, which may be the "the wife stays home and cooks and cleans while the husband works to pull in a wage" way, but, hey, at least couples actually STAYED together when life was like that.


Ugh. They usually stayed together because the wife had no practical, economic alternative back than. While many men do prefer it, it's not exactly fair to the other 50% of humanity.

Now, if it were considered normal for either one of the two (assuming a het couple) people in a couple raising kids to stay home while the other worked, and the job field was such that either could equally garner a job at the same pay, etc., I might buy into it.

I've known two couples like that in the last few years. Both were millennials. Ones where the woman goes to work, has a few drinks after 5, retreats to her woman-cave when she gets home, and hangs out with friends and coworkers on the weekend while the guy gets the kids up, gets them dressed, fed and off to school, then does the laundry & ironing, does the grocery and other shopping, runs the other necessary household errands, comes home, cleans and vacuums, then picks up the kids and has dinner waiting for his wife, finally putting the kids to bed and then -tired as he may be- ensures that any of his wife's physical needs are met whether he is in the mood or not. I have no doubt they'll be together for a long time.


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rubberwood
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24 Mar 2016, 12:25 pm

There are two types of love: passionate love and compassion love. Compassion love do last.



redrobin62
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24 Mar 2016, 12:39 pm

<--- Loves the human race but sometimes they rattle his nerves.



Edenthiel
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24 Mar 2016, 12:48 pm

rubberwood wrote:
There are two types of love: passionate love and compassion love. Compassion love do last.

When the parties acknowledge each other's equality *or* they have complementary sub-dom emotional needs or biases with a good fit, passionate love can be exceedingly stable.


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24 Mar 2016, 1:38 pm

ugh, did we have to bring BDSM into this discussion?


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24 Mar 2016, 2:12 pm

Edenthiel wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
I prefer living the old-fashioned way, which may be the "the wife stays home and cooks and cleans while the husband works to pull in a wage" way, but, hey, at least couples actually STAYED together when life was like that.


Ugh. They usually stayed together because the wife had no practical, economic alternative back than. While many men do prefer it, it's not exactly fair to the other 50% of humanity.

Now, if it were considered normal for either one of the two (assuming a het couple) people in a couple raising kids to stay home while the other worked, and the job field was such that either could equally garner a job at the same pay, etc., I might buy into it.

I've known two couples like that in the last few years. Both were millennials. Ones where the woman goes to work, has a few drinks after 5, retreats to her woman-cave when she gets home, and hangs out with friends and coworkers on the weekend while the guy gets the kids up, gets them dressed, fed and off to school, then does the laundry & ironing, does the grocery and other shopping, runs the other necessary household errands, comes home, cleans and vacuums, then picks up the kids and has dinner waiting for his wife, finally putting the kids to bed and then -tired as he may be- ensures that any of his wife's physical needs are met whether he is in the mood or not. I have no doubt they'll be together for a long time.


I have to admit I wouldn't be terribly opposed to staying at home and keeping up on housework and whatever yard work doesn't take more strength than I have and all that while my S.O goes to work, then have them come home to no chores or anything to have to do except relax and get to spend time together. However not entirely sure living costs and what not would allow for that indefinitely. I am on SSI but I am thinking my condition is improving enough to eventually be deemed non-disabled so once I lose the SSI I might have to get part time work at least for me and him to afford a place.

I don't like the idea because I think that is what females should do I certainly don't condone forced gender roles....I actually like doing housework, which one might not suspect in my current living arrangement with my mom and brother but that is because I am not in charge of it, i don't like having to work around other people and them doing things different. So taking care of that while S.O is at work would be perfect, he'd never have to do laundry again.


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Evam
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24 Mar 2016, 2:36 pm

It is a soul thing. People develop in a partnership, and apparently more so if the other is quite different from oneself. Sometimes there is some kind of nemesis at work, I think: If you have had a pretty good childhood, you have a good chance get the bad part through your boyfriends and spouses.

Hormones play a bigger role, too, in the initial attraction phase and even more so in pregnancy. They really have a pretty attaching power for a certain while. It is a good thing for a child to be raised by his parents and to know both families, and important for a woman to have someone to take care of her for a certain time and to care for the child together while he or she is a baby.

Usually some affection remains. Even for the one that behaved quite badly when you were in China and he did not call you at the hospital after a more important surgery (it was just before he ended the relationship, but still ...), or for the one that has beaten you and for whom you had once called the police when he had taken the big three knifes out because he wanted to keep on talking with you after he had long ended the conversation. Just the autistic psychopath that took my child away from me has messed it up completely ...



arielhawksquill
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24 Mar 2016, 3:11 pm

What is the point of LIFE? It never lasts.