Self-diagnosis

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Joined: 28 Dec 2015
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10 Jun 2016, 4:23 pm

2nd opinions are good for doctors and car repair.

I thought I was smarter than my doctor. After losing 40 pounds I thought I didn't need cholesterol meds.

I did.
In my work sometimes folks are too close. Even educated smart ones. Like me and you.

Others miss self medicating or other dangerous ways of treating themselves with say 1/2 gallon supply per day or two of vodka.

Aside I love cats. My wife is a cat whisperer.
me a name I call myself
not that kind of doctor.

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underwater
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10 Jun 2016, 4:46 pm

skibum wrote:

underwater wrote:

Then I'll invite Skibum to my place - we can go skiing

Oh yes, I would LOVE that!! !

This is where we will be going sometime this summer

It's really pretty around here.

A bit rougher than the Cotswolds, though.

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dianthus
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10 Jun 2016, 4:49 pm

ArielsSong wrote:

neilson_wheels wrote:

Quill wrote:

Biscuit:

Sorry, darling, but those are most definitely scones.

Ha!

I thought that when I saw it, and then I searched and found the following diagram about the differences between the two...

...and then I laughed at the idea that fried chicken is used as a 'topping'.

"What topping would you like on your scone, darling?"
"Oh, just a mound of fried chicken please!"

Yeah, biscuits are intended to be eaten like bread, usually with meat and/or gravy. Many people like to put jelly on biscuits, but it's still quite different from a scone.

Scones are usually made with eggs, biscuits are not.

Biscuits became a staple food in the Southern US because it was an easy bread to make from simple ingredients. The South experienced famine during and after the Civil War, and poverty for many generations afterward. This was not a sweet bread to eat at breakfast with tea or coffee, it was something people ate at every meal, and could pack to take with them for lunch when they worked on their farms.

B19
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10 Jun 2016, 4:55 pm

Skibum is going to win the lottery, then she is coming on a trip downunder to teach me to ski!

underwater
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10 Jun 2016, 5:01 pm

KindaSortaNT: If this helps:

My mother hinted to me years ago about having autistic traits, which led to silent fury on my side. This had partly to do with the fact that my mother says a lot of things, not all of them helpful, and partly that I had a very predjudiced and ignorant view of autism.

There is a likelihood that your husband, if he's autistic, has received quite a lot of criticism in his life. Is he very sensitive to it? In that case I would take it easy. Do a lot of research before you bring it up.

One way of mentioning it might be to show that you understand something that is bothering him, for ex. sensory stuff. Like asking him "Is the noise bothering you?" or something like that. Maybe ask him in what order he would prefer to do something. If you can demonstrate that you understand, you might have a better chance of him keeping an open mind, in the case that this is a sensitive subject for him.

Hope all goes well for you guys!

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underwater
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10 Jun 2016, 5:14 pm

Nighty night, guys. I need my beauty sleep

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KindaSortaNT
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10 Jun 2016, 6:12 pm

underwater wrote:

If you can demonstrate that you understand, you might have a better chance of him keeping an open mind, in the case that this is a sensitive subject for him.

I hear you on the mother thing, my mother and I have a complicated relationship as well.

And thanks for the honesty. Silent (or not so silent) fury is my fear. I don't want him to feel like I am accusing him or feel rejected or ganged up. I only want to understand him as an individual deeply and to be understood as well. I really appreciate your advice to showing my understanding. I think it also might be a safe way to find out if I am off base. Thanks underwater

Grahzmann
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10 Jun 2016, 6:21 pm

ArielsSong wrote:

neilson_wheels wrote:

Quill wrote:

Biscuit:

Sorry, darling, but those are most definitely scones.

Ha!

I thought that when I saw it, and then I searched and found the following diagram about the differences between the two...

...and then I laughed at the idea that fried chicken is used as a 'topping'.

"What topping would you like on your scone, darling?"
"Oh, just a mound of fried chicken please!"

Oddly enough, I was having this same discussion just a week or so ago and shared the exact same image.

YippySkippy
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10 Jun 2016, 6:33 pm

A biscuit is sort of soft and savory, whereas a scone is sweeter and heavier. Buttermilk biscuits can be pretty heavy, but they're not sweet, either. And biscuits never have raisins or currants or such in them. I can't find proper scones in America like they have in Ireland. *sigh* A nice scone and a hot cup of black coffee is a lovely breakfast.

skibum
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10 Jun 2016, 7:03 pm

KindaSortaNT wrote:

Hi all,

I am curious about your process of self-diagnosis, the process of self-acceptance that happens for adults before they seek a formal diagnosis. I am curious because I am a female NT (although I don't think I'm NT at all, just not AS). I have been in a long term, committed relationship with my bf and he is absolutely wonderful. I feel head over heels and think he is talented, smart, kind, funny, hot, inspiring, and truly good hearted. Needless to say, I love him. But I think he may be undiagnosed AS and I don't how to introduce the topic in a helpful, positive, understanding way.

There has been a lot of issues for me and they are only getting worse. I feel isolated from him a lot and our sex life has slowed almost to a halt. My love language is primarily touch so not having regular hugs and kisses and cuddles is really hard on me. It makes me feel like I repulse him and that he doesn't love me. But everything else in the relationship is good - he makes other gestures and choices that tell me that he loves me more than ever.

My therapist recently suggested that my bf may be AS. She hasn't met him so it's not a diagnosis but after she said that I did a lot of research and it does seem to fit, down to the fact that he is very sensitive to sound, touch and smell - particularly light touch.

All the research I have done says that it is ABSOLUTELY important that both partners be aware of AS and to seek a diagnosis. What I have read says that it can only work if both partners are knowledgeable about the unique challenges of AS-NT relationships. So, I know I should bring this up with him (especially before things progress and we end up getting married or something), but I don't know how. I am afraid he might be offended (although he shouldn't, he is wonderful and being AS does not change that at all).

Does anyone have any advice? Has anyone been told to seek a diagnosis by a loved one? How did it feel? Was there anything you wish they had said or hadn't have said? Do you think it would be helpful to reach out to my bf's family?

I'd really appreciate your perspectives.

I was actually told, not by husband but by someone else. I was very receptive. It could go either way. My husband started to see things in himself that are similar to AS when I started sharing my research with him. I might recommend that you start researching it and sharing your research with you partner. He might figure if out himself and that would be the best step. You can tell him that you have been learning about AS and that you find it fascinating which is most likely true, and that you would like to share with him. That gives him the freedom to look and recognize it in himself and if you learn together that is bonding also. If you happen to know an Autistic person or a family with an Autistic child, that would be a great way to have a reason to do research. Or you could say that you stumbled onto here and that you are interested in learning more and want to share with him.

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KindaSortaNT
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10 Jun 2016, 7:09 pm

skibum wrote:

I was actually told, not by husband but by someone else. I was very receptive.

Thank you skibum for the thoughtful reply, your story is encouraging. And you're right, I do find it fascinating and even though I don't identify with a majority of the traits I do relate to a lot of the social ones because I am introverted and have anxiety. Its very interesting how lots of traits seem to overlap.

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10 Jun 2016, 7:11 pm

Quill wrote:

ArielsSong wrote:

I always thought an English muffin was essentially what you call a biscuit.

Although I think your biscuits are quite sweet? Certainly I got a surprise when I ordered a sausage and egg biscuit at McDs in the US, when it looked like an English sausage and egg muffin on the menu...

Biscuits and English muffins are similar, but also quite different. It's sort of hard to explain, but biscuits are softer and fluffy, while English muffins are flatter and rather chewy. Neither should be sweet, so I'm not sure what you got at McDonald's. Hmm... English muffins and biscuits are both available there, but there's also something they have called a McGriddle, which I know is supposed to be sweet, but I've never tried one. I wonder if they messed up your order and gave you one of them by mistake somehow?

Here are some photos:

Biscuit:

English muffin:

McGriddle:

Huh, it does resemble an English muffin.

McGriddle is a breakfast sandwich between two pancakes that have maple syrup (probably corn syrup masquerading as maple syrup) in them. So they are sweet.

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docfox
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10 Jun 2016, 7:14 pm

KindaSortaNT wrote:

skibum wrote:

I was actually told, not by husband but by someone else. I was very receptive.

It's important to note being introverted/having social anxiety doesn't necessarily mean you're on the spectrum. I know people who are autistic/aspies and have no anxiety issues, and try to be extroverts (to the best that the disability permits them), but there's plenty of people (sorta myself included, albeit I'm not as bad as I used to be) who are anxious/introverted on the spectrum.

All in all, I wouldn't book your Aspie ticket on just being introverted/anxious I guess would be my point.

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skibum
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10 Jun 2016, 7:15 pm

neilson_wheels wrote:

Kraftie, If you make it back over here you should check out the Uffington White Horse, carved into the side of a hill fort.

Wow, Magnificent!! !

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"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

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skibum
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10 Jun 2016, 7:20 pm

underwater wrote:

skibum wrote:

underwater wrote:

Then I'll invite Skibum to my place - we can go skiing

Oh yes, I would LOVE that!! !

This is where we will be going sometime this summer

It's really pretty around here.

A bit rougher than the Cotswolds, though.

Wow, that is lovely. Looks like we could do a bit of skiing there!

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"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

Wreck It Ralph

kraftiekortie
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10 Jun 2016, 7:22 pm

That place looks Arctic or Subarctic to me.

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