Does anyone have selective mutism moments?

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For me it's detachment. I've got an aloof and withdrawn personality.

I've only ever had one time in my life where I exhibited what might be considered selective mutism. I'm not even sure if it really counts though.

Once upon a time, I found myself in a very bad position. I was in a very bad place at the mercy of some very bad people. Without going into unnecessary detail that would surely be unpleasant for me to recall and for you to read, some extremely violent things happened. I was so terrified of the people who forced me into that position that I couldn't bring myself to speak or do anything other than tremble in their presence.

The only person in this place I could speak to was a young man named Shay. Unlike the others, Shay was not responsible for me being there. He was just another unfortunate soul who was forced there against his will just like I was. Of course, the nature of this place being extremely violent, Shay had done things that made me fear him as well. For example, at one point he stabbed another young man. That was just the nature of this environment. Others did far worse things to people.

He demanded that I address him as "Sir" and obey all orders from him immediately and without question, but he was the only person I met there who didn't just torture people for no reason other than sadistic satisfaction. He was just trying to assert his dominance over someone with less experience in that particular environment because in many ways he was just as vulnerable as I was. It's because of this, and the fact that he was the only one who very rarely threatened to physically harm me that I was able to speak with him.

The others would joke in my presence that I was too stupid to speak. As soon the two of us were alone though, Shay and I would talk about how exactly we'd erase each and every last one of them from the face of the earth. That was a very dark part of my life which fortunately is behind me. I still don't speak much (or at all) around certain types of people or in certain situations that frighten me, but it's not like when I was back there. I spent a lot of time back there and almost everybody I came across never heard the sound of my voice despite the fact that I was around them for several hours every day. In more comfortable environments though, I'm quite talkative, occasionally more than some of the people around me would like.

Same here! Will often go mute in groups and if i do talk i feel so overwhelmed gibberish comes out my mouth.. I also hate it when im so overloaded i start sweating like im in a sauna despite the fact it could be almost freezing outside! Sitting down i find it hardest as internally im screaming to leave or get away from situation but cant even get up to remove myself.. At times i have been able to override the over stimulation to find that ounce to remove myself, but most of the time i am just stuck in the position i am and then hate it even more when concentrating on keeping it together a question is fired at me around a table with a group of people.. Up to that point i can somewhat hide it externally but when that happens i find my self screwed! lol.. can laugh now, but when it happens its like my brain is getting something from every direction at a thousand miles an hour and body just shuts down, high anxiety, sometimes dizziness, confusion, and a huge overwhelming feeling..

As with a group, if most people want to get up and leave or go to the bathroom they just do it, but for me can take a long worked up mental process to do the same thing!

I've always had difficulty speaking if I am upset or nervous. At first, I get syllables mixed up, stutter, and struggle to find the words for things. If I am extremely upset (especially in a meltdown), the words will not appear in my brain at all. I generally think in pictures and then translate them into words, but if I am upset, the translation program starts to fail and eventually crashes and locks up completely. All I can do is gesture in a sort of panicky pantomime. Writing doesn't work either.

The longest I was mute was two days, when I was four, after I was concussed in a car accident.

I basically fit the description of Selective Mutism perfectly. It was a big issue for me, through the end of high school. I basically would not talk to any of my peers that I didn't consider a close friend. I would only talk to close friends and adults and, even then, it was difficult. This led to a LOT of bullying. I did a great job disproving the saying that "if you ignore a bully, they will ignore you." My silence only seemed to entice them more.

Even at home or with people I'm close to, I have some sort of speech issue. I have no trouble understanding what others are saying but I do have trouble figuring out how to respond AND getting that response out in an effective and timely manner. Sometimes, by the time I'm capable of responding, the other person has already moved on, forgotten, or gotten angry. There are also plenty of times that I just start to find it increasingly difficult to communicate verbally. It doesn't help when other people get annoyed and start berating me for it. I'm not really sure how to describe it but it feels similar to some of the things other people have described in this thread. If there's a technical term for this issue I'd love to know what it is!

Yes, what is interesting about average intelligence NT people is some actually limit themselves based on what they can express. They think so verbally that if they cannot put into words a unique feeling or idea (like many I have had when smoking medical marijuana), they simply are unable to even think it at all. Like that feeling you get when someone else wants to say something else but nobody is willing to go forward, a word simply doesn't exist for it in English so they usually never come up with the thought to begin with and even claim it doesn't exist when you try over and over to explain. Or if someone says "it may be something I desire deep down, but I don't want it" they say "lol what is the difference between the two? they have the same meaning in the dictionary as synonyms!".

I am pretty much selective mutism all the time.

Yes. I only talk to those close to me. I text my best friend all the time because he is one of the few that speaks honestly (aspergers makes it so that I cant stand dishonesty). One time my friend took me to a cookout kinda guilt tripping me. Just ate food and shut down completely couldn't talk. Ive gotten comments on my mutism too. People saying I should be more friendly, or why don't you talk to so-so. Most people drain me of energy because I have to hide my aspergers

its interesting with being two different people, one in public and one with family. for example with family im a complete chatterbox, never stop talking, my parents usually ignore me anyway so whats the harm?, but outside my family i almost don't talk at all, very quiet and forgettable. but i feel like you describe it perfectly, if someone wants to listen, ill never stop, other then that, i wont really talk at all.

Im not sure about SM, but I often wish I was allowed to stop talking. I wish I did not have to talk to hold a job.

Oh yes, big time. I started saying my first words at six months, and then stopped talking and couldn't talk until I was three or four. Instead, I communicated with sign language. As an adult, I can be rendered mute by a psychologist, with a simple suggestion -- and then I know I can talk but I just can't make the words come out. In real life, I become mute when I'm faced with a situation where I start to melt down emotionally. Then first I'll stutter and if things become really bad I can't talk at all. But that applies only to the fraught situation, I can talk again when the topic changes.

My mom told me this a lot too, and I wish she had been more specific in her advice. It would have been better to say that people who tease you mildly will leave you alone if you don't get upset (but not if you ignore them completely). This rule didn't apply to real bullying (where taunt were cruel and often escalated to violence if ignored). I kept trying to obey her and kept getting bullied. Mom would just ask me what I said to make them angry.

Not sure if thats technically selective mutism but when beeing confronted by anyone that can leave me various seconds muted. I open my mouth, i try to say something but its like theres something physically blocking my throat and i cant speak at all. And now thinking of it, bullying in school has also caused me to go mute, but for longer periods where i would just stare/fixate to some point in the room and dont react at all, neither verbal or nonverbal. Around strangers in an unstructured enviroment im also mostly quite, but not because i physically couldnt speak, but just because i dont know a single thing to say without having a context to refer to. Thats why i do ok-ish on themed events like LAN parties or car shows, but fail in daily life...

Peace
TK