I think a lot of parents just do the minimum to get by. Mine certainly did, but they were working-class people, dealing with addiction issues, and Asperger's was unknown. I STILL feel like a child, at 51; I don't think that ever really changes. I think I spent the time till I was about 35 raising myself all over again, the way I wish I could have been the first time. It's been difficult. Underemployed because cannot connect, several degrees, not using them. The toughest thing has been finding environments where I can function -- I mean, where I can use at least some of the skills I have, among people who value and appreciate me (and that last is key). For instance, I'm a medical scribe; I used to be a medical transcriptionist, where I could put on headphones all day and type, and interact with others very little. That job used my ability to intensely focus, but it didn't fulfill my need to be valued by others (and yes, Aspies need that too; I don't think we're meant to spend our lives sealed off in a bubble - that is actually one of my recurrent dreams, that I'm some sort of glassed-off room and no one can hear me). My current job as a scribe allows me to focus on the electronic chart, but I do it among people who are really happy I am there and value what I do. When someone says "We are so lucky to have you!" I could just bust with happiness (though I don't show it, of course )