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ShiningStar25
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: 1 Aug 2018
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 25
Location: All around the world!
02 Aug 2018, 2:36 pm
02 Aug 2018, 2:59 pm
ShiningStar25
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: 1 Aug 2018
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 25
Location: All around the world!
02 Aug 2018, 3:06 pm
Magna wrote:
I learned by trial and mostly error that it was better to keep my mouth shut as my thoughts spoken unfiltered often offend people. So, I guess I do have a filter, but without it, I would create frequent problems when communicating with people.
I think it sucks having a filter sometimes because I don't intend to offend people or hurt their feelings. My thoughts are just very direct, literal and matter of fact. People don't like that.
A theoretical case in point just last night in talking with my wife:
I was flipping through a free local magazine from the grocery store. In the back the magazine always publishes photos of local people who have attended various recent local fundraising functions, etc. I noticed there was a picture of a woman that graduated high school one year behind me (like thirty years ago). I recognized her from the picture by her name (hyphenated now) and by her face. She looked old to me.
I told my wife I envisioned if I saw that woman in a store or something after all of these years and talked to her with her knowing who I was I would want to say: "Wow, you look old!" I would not think that would be offensive for the following reason:
This woman and I are the same age essentially and had known who each other when we were young. By me saying she looks old to me, she would have every right to say the same about me! I think there could be shared amusement in that.
If I were younger than someone, I would not think to tell them they look old. What would the point be?
My wife said that even in the specific situation I describe above that it most certainly would NOT be appropriate to say such a thing and especially since she's a woman and would most likely take an even greater offense.
So....I generally keep my mouth shut.
What sort of things do you say or have you said in which not filtering got you in trouble?
I think it sucks having a filter sometimes because I don't intend to offend people or hurt their feelings. My thoughts are just very direct, literal and matter of fact. People don't like that.
A theoretical case in point just last night in talking with my wife:
I was flipping through a free local magazine from the grocery store. In the back the magazine always publishes photos of local people who have attended various recent local fundraising functions, etc. I noticed there was a picture of a woman that graduated high school one year behind me (like thirty years ago). I recognized her from the picture by her name (hyphenated now) and by her face. She looked old to me.
I told my wife I envisioned if I saw that woman in a store or something after all of these years and talked to her with her knowing who I was I would want to say: "Wow, you look old!" I would not think that would be offensive for the following reason:
This woman and I are the same age essentially and had known who each other when we were young. By me saying she looks old to me, she would have every right to say the same about me! I think there could be shared amusement in that.
If I were younger than someone, I would not think to tell them they look old. What would the point be?
My wife said that even in the specific situation I describe above that it most certainly would NOT be appropriate to say such a thing and especially since she's a woman and would most likely take an even greater offense.
So....I generally keep my mouth shut.
What sort of things do you say or have you said in which not filtering got you in trouble?
Most of the time its just by being blunt I think and people often tell me i’m immature because I blurt out childish thingd and I dont know im doing it but people have told me my mouth is what will get me in trouble
02 Aug 2018, 3:17 pm
02 Aug 2018, 5:17 pm
